


Castle Down

by Blackwidow73



Series: In the Days of Wine and Bracelets [1]
Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 59,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6586510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwidow73/pseuds/Blackwidow73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bob and Linda are both doing whatever they can to hold their family together, but they can barely keep themselves together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Helpless 

The darkness surrounded her, suffocating her. She didn’t even make it to her bed, collapsing, her back up against the door. She pulled her knees up to her chest as a shuddering gasp was emitted. Her entire body trembled as she stared straight ahead. 

Linda thickly swallowed. Her life had been one constant whirlwind for about a month now, and nothing seemed to be getting better. No one seemed to be getting any better. It was frustrating. All she wanted to do was scream, shout, throw a huge fit, but she could. Deep down she harboured this fear that if she fell apart now, she would never be able to put herself back together, and there was too much going on for her to be broken. 

Her entire family needed her. That’s why she did what she did, because it was needed. That didn’t mean she was proud of herself. Never before had she ever felt so grimy, so disgusting. Everything about her felt tainted. 

“Linda?” Bob called from the other side of the door. 

She went to speak, but the words got caught in her throat. There was nothing but silence as she sat there with her mouth wide open as if she were expecting the words to simply come when they were ready. 

Bob sighed, wishing that she would come out and join them. He was well aware of everything that had happened. He couldn’t be mad at her. If anything he was mad at himself. All he wanted was for her to understand that, to see nothing would change between them. 

“I love you,” he assured her, resting his forehead against the door. 

“I love you too,” she responded, her voice cracking. 

oooooo

Tina lay in the dark room, her glasses on the nightstand and cell phone right beside them. She couldn’t sleep all that well, so she simply just stared. There was some comfort to be found though, at least she wasn’t all alone. The arm wrapped around her made her feel safe. 

Feeling secure at the age of fourteen while your family was slowly falling apart was a rare thing, and she made sure to cherish it. There was something unnerving about the fact that she figured neither of her parents even knew that she was gone. They would have called by now if they noticed anything wrong. It wasn’t that she wanted to get busted, to have them come over here and drag her home, but she wanted them to notice when she was gone. 

“Are you awake?” She inquired. 

“I am now,” Zeke hoarsely replied. 

Tina rolled over onto her other side to be able to face him. A smile came across her face as soon as she saw him. It was nice knowing that there was at least one person that cared about where she was tonight. 

“In a fight, do you think a black widow or a python would win?” 

He was about to snap at her for waking him up to even ask such a question. The only thing that kept him from doing so was because he knew what was going on at home. And part of him understood where the question was coming from. 

“The python. It’s big enough to fight off the poison,” he told her with confidence. 

“You really think so?” She questioned. 

“I know so. Now go back to sleep,” he ordered. 

oooooo

Louise waked down the street, her black jacket with her hood up to cover the fact that wasn’t wearing her pink bunny ears. Someone else had them right now, someone who needed them more than she did. 

Arguably, she was the one who had changed the most throughout all of this. She was mellowed, more somber. But then again, so was everyone else. That’s what stress did after the initial anger. It sucked the life out of you, leaving you somewhat hopeless. 

Snow began to lightly fall as she passed under the street lights. Her hands were stuffed in her pockets as she kept her eyes down to the ground. She was cold, but she didn’t care right now. She might not ever care again if things stayed the way they were. And it wasn’t as if anyone else really cared. 

She stopped before the restaurant. They still managed to keep that up and running during most of the day. Peering into the windows, you wouldn’t even know that there was anything wrong. It was amazing really. 

No one outside of the family actually knew. Even Gayle didn’t. Teddy and Mort probably had their ideas. They had to be somewhat suspicious. And she found it hard to believe that Teddy didn’t ask any questions. Or maybe he had and her parents just didn’t say anything. Maybe he did know and just somehow managed to not let anyone else know. 

Deciding that it didn’t matter, she continued to the second door and headed up the staircase. Most times she would sneak back the way that she snuck out, but tonight she just didn’t care. It wasn’t even all that late, it was only about ten at night. 

As she rounded the corner, she saw her mom walking out of the bathroom, freshly showered. 

“Where were you?” Linda asked, slightly upset. She was more angry at herself for not even noticing that her own daughter had left the house than she was at Louise for being out past curfew. 

“I was just out, okay?” Louise replied without even stopping. 

“That’s not an answer young lady!” She argued as she followed her. As she got to the doorway though, she noticed that the child wasn’t wearing her bunny ears and her expression softened. “You’re not wearing your ears,” she mentioned with concern. 

“They weren’t stolen again, were they?” 

“I just don’t need them anymore,” she told her, sitting down on the edge of her bed. 

As she was about to ask her what was going on, Linda spotted Gene’s keyboard and megaphone underneath the bed. It made her heart sink. 

“He’ll be back home soon,” Linda gently stated. 

Louise just looked up to her. It was hard to find any real hope in the woman’s eyes. Last month she was bound and determined, but now it looked as though that fight was gone. It was about a week ago that all that strength and optimism had left, and that was when Louise was scared. That’s when she saw how serious all of this was, and that’s when she stopped caring. 

“Are you sure?” She flatly asked. It wasn’t argue, she just wanted to hear someone say that they knew everything would okay. She wanted to hear the words out loud and validated by someone else. 

She wanted to give her daughter a positive answer, but she couldn’t. Just like earlier, the words physically would not pass through her throat. It were as though she just wasn’t capable of lying to herself anymore. 

“I don’t know,” she choked out, defeated. 

Louise just stared at her, not knowing what to say or do. There was a chill that surged through her body followed by a numbness. Gene might not come home. She wasn’t even sure how to handle that concept. 

“I’m heading to work, Lin!” Bob announced from down the hall. 

It took her a second to react, but she finally turned her head towards the hall, her eyes still glued on her daughter. “Be careful, alright!” She responded. 

“Don’t worry! I’ll be fine!” He assured her. 

“I love you!” Linda made sure to let him know. 

“I love you too!” 

Once she heard the door close, she turned her full attention back to Louise who looked like she was trying her hardest to not cry. It pained her see her daughter like this, to not be able to do anything to help her, or any of her children. 

“I’m sorry sweetie,” she said as she went and sat down beside her. She tightly embraced her, resting her chin on her head. It was supposed to try and comfort Louise, but she herself needed this greatly. 

Louise was about to tell her that she needed her space or that this was disgusting and it wouldn’t help anything. Instead, she went ahead and returned the hug. It wasn’t helping her all that much, but her mom did need it. And anything was better than being left completely alone.


	2. Dirty Money

Chapter 2: Dirty Money

Leaving Louise's room, Linda decided to go ahead and check on Tina. She knew that she had been a little negligent towards both daughters lately and it hurt her to see just how much it was affecting them. She had barely even seen either of them.

"Tina? Sweetheart? You awake?" She gently called from the hallway.

There was no answer. The most likely reason would be that she was sleeping. However, Linda felt that there was a chance Tina was ignoring her. And she wouldn't completely blame her. No matter what the reason for the silence, she had to go in there and check on her. She had to see her and make sure that she was okay.

"Tina?" She asked, slowly opening the door.

Looking around, she saw that there was no one in the bed. Panic arose within her. How long had she been gone? She could have sworn that she saw her come home from school, but they didn't eat dinner together much as family. Was she over at Tammy's? No. Her and Tammy didn't actually get along all that well. Maybe she could be with Jimmy Jr.

Huffing, she turned and went to go grab the phone in the kitchen. She had to call and see where she was so that she could go get her and bring her back home.

"She's at Zeke's. I would let her stay," Louise told her as she stood in the doorway.

Linda paused and turned back to look to Louise with surprise. It struck her as odd that Tina would be over there. She knew that they hung out sometimes, when Jimmy Jr. was there. It was somewhat comforting though, having a small idea of where she could be.

"Why Zeke's?" She inquired.

Louise shrugged. She wasn't all too sure of everything that was going on between her and Jimmy Jr. She knew that there was a fight between her and Jimmy, and that Zeke called her a few days later. But she had no idea what the fight was about, nor did she care all that much to really look into it. She had better things to focus her attention on at the time.

Linda just nodded before turning back around and dialing the number to her daughter's phone.

Tina had just begun to doze off as the phone vibrated on the nightstand, the sound piercing through the silence that had fallen over the room.

"T..." Zeke groaned.

"I got it," she answered, still groggy as she reached for her phone.

She already knew who it was that was calling her, and it brought her some form of happiness to know that she had not been totally forgotten back at home.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Tina? Sweetheart? Where are you?"

Linda knew that she should have been mad, but it was hard to be when she was so worried. All she wanted was to know that at least two of her children were all right. Just hearing her daughter's voice was a huge relief to her.

"I'm over at Zeke's," she flatly answered, laying her head back down onto the pillow. "We're just sleeping, nothing else."

She hated the idea of letting her stay over there with Zeke. She was further away than usual, she didn't know Zeke as well, and it sounded like they were sharing a bed.

On the other hand, she was sure that Tina would have said something to her if there was anything wrong. It wasn't like her eldest possessed the best poker face. It was clear to everyone whenever there was anything wrong. And in all honesty, she wasn't sure that she was in the right state of mind to be driving. She had just gotten in a huge fight with her husband that she knew they would come back to eventually, and she had a small crying session with one of the forgotten children.

"Look, I'll come get you in the morning, alright? But we need to talk as soon as you're home," she firmly explained.

"Good night, mom," Tina said. The happiness didn't exactly ring clear through her voice, but she was smiling to herself as she hung up the phone. She was being loved again.

Linda said her good night and hung up the phone. She felt drained. Physically, emotionally, and mentally drained.

"Good night Louise," she said as she started towards her bedroom.

Her daughter watched, surprised and somewhat scared of the scene before her. "You mean that you're not waiting up for dad? You always wait up for him."

"He's going to be a little later than usual," she lied. She wanted to know that he was safe, but she wasn't sure that she could truly face him yet.

There weren't any hard feelings. They still loved each other. She just didn't like how much she had hurt him. It was obvious in his eyes how betrayed he had felt. "I have to be up early tomorrow morning to go get Tina anyways. I want a chance to talk to her before your dad finds out what she's been doing."

Most of the time, Louise had a pretty good idea of everything that was happening around her. She understood things that most children wouldn't. Lately, she had been missing a lot of things. It wasn't that she didn't understand what she was seeing or hearing, but that she was off on her own a lot more. Her most frequented places were her bedroom and just out walking around the block. Tina was rarely home anymore and her parents weren't exactly the best people to be around right now.

Here, she had no idea what was happening, and it was the first time that she truly feared she would lose everyone. There was something in her mother's voice, a defeat that she couldn't handle. Something had happened between her parents and she had no idea what it was. Just a couple weeks ago they seemed closer than ever. Even in the face of a crisis they were there for each other. She hated to admit it, but she was starting to think there might have been something to what Tina had said about fate being involved with their meeting. It was gross and sappy, but it brought her some relief to know that no matter what happened, the rest of her family would still be here.

Now that comfort was gone, harshly pulled out from under her feet. She was watching her family fall apart. She knew that Linda didn't really have to wake up early to go get Tina and she knew that Bob probably wasn't working any later than usual. It never mattered before how late he was working anyways. There were times where she would wake up in the middle of the night and find her mom pacing out in the hallway.

"Good night," Louise said, hesitating to turn and head back to her room. She just wanted to watch for a second to see if everything really was all right. Or at least, as much as it could be.

As soon as she was back in her room, Louise closed the door and removed her coat. It wasn't like she had to hide the fact that she wasn't wearing her ears in here. Somehow though, she didn't really care anymore. She wanted her ears, and she wanted to get them back someday, but it just didn't matter right now. There was too much going on to care about a hat.

She went to sit down on the edge of her bed, reaching down to retrieve the keyboard from underneath. Louise positioned herself to sit sideways on the bed, placing the toy before her. It felt wrong having this thing and Gene not being in the room. It made her feel bad just even thinking about playing it. There was a part of her that had to play it though. It was a small way of keeping him there, of reminding herself that he would return.

Her hand hovered over the keyboard as she stared down to it. Thickly swallowing, she went ahead and switched it over from sound effects to just the regular keyboard in hopes that it would make things easier. And it did, it made it easier for her to press one single key. That was about all she could manage though.

The singular note rung through the air, slicing the silence and making her uncomfortable. It reminded her of how alone she was.

A month ago, Louise never thought that she would be sitting in her room with her brother's belongings to try and find some semblance of peace. At the time she figured that he had just gotten sick, that the fever was something that would go away within a week and he would be back home soon.

One month ago

"Bobby! Get in here!"

Louise's eyes shot open at the screeching voice. It took her a second to figure out what was happening, her mom yelling, her dad running. They were panicking. And that's when it hit her, Gene. He had been sick and only getting worse the past couple of weeks. It was like he had the flu almost. A fever that wouldn't break. He was always tired.

As soon as the thought entered her mind, she jumped up out of bed and hurried over to the doorway where she opened the door and stood there, watching. Her father was carrying a barely conscious Gene, blood down the front of her brother's shirt. It looked like he had had a bad nose bleed. It was eerie too, seeing how much weight he had lost.

Behind her father was her mother, hysterically sobbing as she was trying to explain to Bob what had happened, but it was all incoherent. It wouldn't have mattered if she were making sense, he seemed to be in this daze as he rushed, worry in his eyes as he only focused on getting down the stairs and out the door.

"Tina! You're in charge! We'll be back as soon as we can!" Bob called from the bottom of the steps.

She just stood there, umoving even as she heard the door slam shut. The little girl wasn't even sure how to react. She had just seen Gene a few hours ago. He was weak, but they were still kind of playing together. He was showing her a song that he had been working on with all the time that he had to himself being stuck in bed. She wasn't even supposed to be in there, but she wasn't afraid of catching anything from him. After being around him for a couple of weeks and not catching anything she figured that she just wouldn't get sick.

oooooo

Sighing, she went ahead and put the toy back under her bed. That was enough thinking for the night, even if that was all she did lately. Right now all she wanted was her dad. She wanted to sit on the couch with Bob and reunite the burn unit. That was all she wanted.

That never happened anymore, he was barely ever home at night and she missed him. They were growing apart and she hated it.

Getting up, she went ahead and got changed into her pajamas. Once finished, she paused. There was a faint sound coming from down the hall. Was it her mom? Was she crying?

Once again she was scared. This time, she had to go investigate. She wanted answers. It was getting old, seeing her dad leave every night and finding out that he owns a gun only because she managed to catch him putting it away in his dresser drawer. She was tired of seeing her mom get all dolled up and leaving for a few hours and coming back home only to change into a fast food uniform and leave again. She had caught glimpses of both of them ringing in pretend orders and slipping money into the register.

She had her small ideas of what was happening, but she needed to be sure. Perhaps only being ten years old meant that she was automatically left out of the loop and that she could be happier not knowing everything. Letting things go however just wasn't her style, especially when there was so much occurring.

"Mom?" She inquired as she reached her bedroom door.

Linda sat in her bed, just staring forward as the tears rolled down her cheeks once more, soft sobs leaving her lips every once in awhile. That stopped with the appearance of her daughter at the door.

"Come in!" She replied, wiping her eyes with the backs of her wrists.

Louise walked into the room and immediately crawled into bed with her. It was pretty likely that she would end up just sleeping here anyways. It wasn't like she was going to be able to sleep in her room tonight.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Linda asked, trying her best to conceal the fact that she had been crying.

"Something's going on with you and dad. What is it?" She blurted out without hesitation, staring her mother in the eye. If she was going to talk about this, she wanted to get straight to the point.

The inquiry took her by surprise. Sure it had to have been obvious that there was something wrong. The tension around there lately had been thick enough to cut with a knife. That with the fact that both her and Bob had been coming home with various injuries, it had to have looked awful suspicious. She just wasn't sure that she was ready to discuss this with her.

"Everything's fine," Linda lied.

It wasn't as though she thought her and Bob were about to break up over this, but she knew enough to know that they would need some time to heal. They would need time before they could be like they were as a couple before any of this started. There was a lot of hurt right now. A lot of pain. She was lucky that Bob wasn't the type of man to simply walk out because of one mistake. Although, this was more than one small mistake, this was complete and utter betrayal. The only reason he didn't leave was because there was a reason for it, it was driven by desperation and the need to be able to provide so that their baby boy could live.

It was that understanding that kept him from losing his mind and screaming at her. She was grateful for that. Being cast aside by him was the last thing she needed now. He was the only reason that she hadn't completely cracked under the pressure and the stress.

"We both know that's crap. You don't carry around a gun and have a huge gash on your arm when everything's fine," Louise instantly disputed.

"How did you know about the gun?" She questioned, her eyes widened.

"I just saw him putting it away. I personally like it, I just don't see dad as someone who would just own a gun," she informed her.

At any other time, having a gun in the house would be kind of cool. She liked a good weapon. Now though, it was like he had it because he was afraid of something. He seemed jumpy whenever she saw him. It was concerning.

Linda sighed, her shoulders dropping with defeat as she broke eye contact with her to look down to the bed sheets. Realistically there was going to be someday where Louise would look back on all of this and figure out what they were doing. It wasn't like she was going to tell her the details, but she should at least be honest about everything not being fine.

"You're not going to understand this until you have kids, but there are horrible things that people should never do, that you will sink to doing if your child needs it," she told her, hoping that she might be able to leave it at that. The look on Louise's eyes told her differently. "Your father and I are selling things illegally."

She had an idea of what that meant. Nodding, she sat back against the pillows and stared forward. It was an answer, it just didn't answer the first question. Or maybe it did. They could have been fighting over what they were selling. That didn't seem right, but there was a lot going on, a lot of stress. It was possible.

"If you need money I can help you out," she offered. This was something that she was going to keep as a surprise, but it seemed like the right time to tell someone.

"Awe," LInda replied, looking to her with a smile. She didn't think it was possible for Louise to have that much, but the gesture was well appreciated. It meant a lot to her that she would want to help. "You don't have to do that. This is up to me and your father to take care of."

"Wait here," Louise ordered as she hopped out of bed and left the room.

Linda sat there and began to play with the edge of the sheet. Again, it was a nice offer, but she couldn't take Louise's money from her. Besides, there was no way that the young child could understand just how much it was to keep someone in the hospital. The most she probably had was somewhere around a hundred dollars, which would barely do anything.

"Here it is," she announced, rushing over and dropping a stuffed yellow envelope onto her mom's lap.

The weight of the package was initially shocking and she was hesitant to even open. "How much is in here?" She questioned, peeking inside.

The little girl proudly climbed onto the bed and sat facing her. "Eight thousand."

Now she was just worried. "You mind telling me how you managed to get eight thousand dollars?" She firmly inquired with concern. A huge part of her was afraid to hear what the answer was. She herself had brought in about ten thousand in one month, and eighty percent of that was illegally earned.

"Just sold a few of my things, did a few chores for some people. Mainly though I hung around with Mr. Fishoeder," she informed her. "And now I know how to successfully win most of the games at casinos."

"We'll talk about this tomorrow, alright?" She responded, not even sure what to say at the moment. Part of this money was dirty, which she really couldn't say too much about, and wouldn't say anything if it weren't brought home by her daughter. She just did not want Louise thinking that this was okay. Then again, she seemed to get the concept that this was all for Gene.

"Mom! Just take it! It's not that much to launder in," she implored.

Linda was about to ask how she even knew what that meant, however, she had made enough discoveries for one night. It was time to just let it go and try to focus on it tomorrow along with everything else that she had to try and manage.

"I'll think about it," she told her.

"I feel like there shouldn't be too much to consider here. You need the money and I have it," Louise argued.

She knew that her parents wouldn't just take it right away, but she did figure that she could wear at least one of them down to the point where they took it. It wasn't like she did all of this work to get a stupid toy or something. She wasn't about to outwardly admit it, but she did want her brother around more than some stupid money.

"Alright, I'll add it in tomorrow. Just don't tell your father," she finally gave in.

Louise smiled, taking back the envelope and setting it on the night stand. The smiled faded though as she looked back to her mom, saw her aimlessly staring. Again, she knew that it meant that things were bad.

Normally their big struggle was money, and it still was. That hadn't changed so much. It was for bills, for clothing, for food, for electricity. They always managed to scrape by and be okay. No9 matter how bad things got though, they never let on that things were really that bad. They stayed positive, they did what they had to do and just covered up whatever they could in front of the kids.

Louise knew what was going on most times. She wasn't blind. The absence of that charade worried her now more than anything. It was that absence that told her that they were too tired to even pretend anymore. It was pointless.

"Night," she said, laying down and pulling up the blankets to cover herself.

Linda offered her a small smile. "Good night," she replied before leaning over and placing a small kiss on her forehead.

oooooo

The four sat in the parked car. the street light illuminating the front yard across the street from them. Amongst the men was Bob, nervously sitting there and staring. It wasn't as though he had too much of a choice here. He saw what happened earlier and he knew that he had to do something.

"So what do I do now?" Bob asked.

Larry, who was sitting beside him just looked. He felt bad for this man, he really did, but he couldn't get over how inexperienced he was.

"You just go up there, pull out your gun, and tell him what he's gonna do. It's not hard."

"What if he has a gun too?" He questioned, starting to panic. Surely it wasn't as easy as these people were saying that it was.

Chuck turned to him and just watched him for a moment as though he were a complete idiot. Which, in his mind he was. This man was supposed to be here defending his family and he was freaking out in the back seat.

"Then you shoot first," he flatly instructed.

Bob sat there, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he looked between the sets of eyes glaring at him. He knew that he had to do this. There was no getting out of this. So he did his best to brace himself, taking a gulp from the bottle of whiskey that was kept under the seat and climbing out, his head held high as he marched to the front porch.


	3. Get Out of Here

Chapter 3: Get Out of Here

Tina had a hard time getting back to sleep after that phone call. It wasn't that she was worried or anything, she had just missed her chance for sleep. It were as though after a certain time every night her brain just went into overdrive. All she could do was lie there and think. If it wasn't about what she was currently doing, it was about random fights that she had had or about how things should be at the moment rather than what they were. It was anything and everything.

It was hard for her to ignore the fact that she would have normally ran to Jimmy Jr. He was the one that she had liked for a while and he was the one that she had felt closer to before all of this happened. She had even gone so far as to tell Tammy that Zeke was kind of gross. She just couldn't think that way about him anymore, not after the way he had been there for her the past few weeks.

It all started back around the time that Gene had fallen ill. They hadn't brought him to the hospital yet, but he was already the main concern of the household. Everything revolved around him and whether or not he was doing any better.

Tina of course, understood. Her brother was sick and they wanted him to get better. They wanted to make sure that he would be okay. Her and Louise were perfectly fine, therefore they weren't as high of a priority. And she herself was pretty used to being in the background. The only thing that was different with this time was that she had actually won something. That was an occurrence that just did not happen here. They were typically the family that stood there and watched others win around them.

There had been an essay contest that her teacher had alerted the students to and she entered and won. All she wanted was at least some small recognition for it, but no one seemed to want to read it. Her parents were too busy, Gene was sick, and Louise didn't even seem to really be there anymore, she was just spacing out most of the time.

It wasn't even a week later that Gene had been admitted. That was when everything seemed to spiral out of control and she had been entirely shoved to the side.

oooooo

Three weeks ago.

Tina sat out on the pier, her legs dangling over the edge while her arms rested on the lower part of the fence. She just gazed out into the water, doing her best to turn off her mind. It wasn't working quite as well as she had hoped, but anything was better than being home. At least here she was away from the tension and the worry.

Sighing, she looked towards the side, viewing a small amount of people as they walked through the area, going about their daily lives. They were kind of interesting, almost. The one thing that caught her attention was the sight of her little sister wearing a black jacket and carrying a bag with her. The scene looked suspicious.

"Louise?" She asked as soon as she was within hearing range.

"Tina?" Louise questioned, surprised as she went to hide the bag behind her back. "What are you doing here?"

"Just out," she plainly answered as she got to her feet. "What are you doing?"

The young girl shrugged, acting as casual as she could. "Oh you know, this and that," she replied in hopes that Tina would let her on her way without any more questions. She really needed to get that bag to Mr. Fishoeder soon, and having eyes on her right now was not ideal.

Tina did her best to peek over her sister's shoulder. "What's in the bag?"

Shifting the bag to try and do a better job at hiding it from her, she awkwardly laughed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The answer only went over Tina's head as she pointed to the bag, still trying to look over her shoulder. "That bag right there, the one that you're holding onto," she dryly explained.

"Yeah…. I have no idea what you're talking about. So I'm gonna go now," Louise answered before rushing past her.

"I just…" She started as she turned around to face Louise, but stopped and awkwardly looked around as she figured out that Louise was not going to stop and respond. "Yeah, I'll talk to you later!" She called out to her, a bit more quietly.

Slightly let down, she sighed and turned back around to leave. Lately she had been feeling a little out of the loop. Maybe that wasn't so different, but there was something important going on now and it made her feel like she was the only one that wasn't doing something to help. She just wasn't sure of what she could be doing. It wasn't as though she were old enough to get a job, and she didn't have much anything worth selling.

As she made her way towards home, she stopped at the sound of a familiar voice. "Dad?" She quietly asked, taking a step forward to peek into the alley.

It was a strange sight, one that she couldn't quite make sense of at the time. She would later on when she eventually figured out what her parents were doing. Her dad was standing there with Mickey and two other men. They were all dressed in black and carrying brown paper bags, large bags. Linda stood there in front of them, still in her fast food uniform as Bob handed her his bag. They were talking, but she couldn't quite make out what it was that was being said. They were whispering.

Linda went and kissed Bob on the cheek and then turned to leave, freezing as she saw Tina. "Tina!" She said, forcing a smile. It was more of a warning to the others than a greeting. "What are you doing here?" She anxiously inquired as she rushed to make her way to her.

Tina stood there, watching as her father and the other men awkwardly stood there. They looked scared to do anything. It was oddly unnerving.

"I was just walking home," she explained.

A nervous laugh left the woman's lips as she wrapped her arm around her daughter and started hastening away from the scene. "Well why don't we walk home together? I barely ever get to see you anymore!"

"I just saw you this morning," Tina flatly stated as she tried to keep up with her.

She had picked up on what her mom was doing, but she didn't bother to ask any questions. She would get the same old answers, the same lies about how they weren't doing anything or that everything was fine. It was getting annoying. It made her feel as though they viewed her as this fragile little being that couldn't handle anything. She was fourteen years old. She wasn't a baby anymore. And she wanted to know what exactly was going on around here.

The arguments would only cause more stress. She was mature enough to understand that that was the last thing they needed.

"Hey look! We're home!" Linda abruptly announced as they reached the door.

Turning to her daughter and grabbing her shoulders, she forced the same enthusiastic smile that had grown accustomed to maintaining. It was her best attempt at covering up the guilt and the worry that constantly filled her.

"I'll see you tonight, alright sweetheart?" Her voice was more genuine this time.

Tina just stared at her. She knew that she wouldn't see her tonight. Linda would get home late as usual and she would have already been asleep by the time she returned. "Okay," she responded simply to get this talk over with.

She remained standing there as Linda planted a kiss on her forehead and then quickly headed into the restaurant.

"Hey T!"

Tina turned, seeing Zeke crossing the street. He must have been coming from Jimmy Pesto's. It didn't really matter where he was coming from though. Lately Jimmy Jr. had been busy with some dance competition that he was preparing for so he barely ever talked to her. Her own family was ignoring her. This was the first person in a while to even try to really engage in any sort of conversation with her.

"Hey Zeke," she returned the greeting.

"I heard they were enterin your essay in another contest," he stated as enthusiastically as he could.

Zeke had never truly cared about anyone's writing. Poetry, short stories, all of those things seemed dumb and a waste of time to him, but he did care about Tina. He had noticed how much more quiet she had been lately. It was concerning to him and he just wanted to strike up a conversation with her to see how she was. And in all honesty, he liked the way that her face lit up when her he had mentioned her writing.

"Yeah, it's on a state level now," she informed him.

"You'll probably win. You're good at that stuff," he remarked, stopping before her.

"Thank you," she responded, at a loss for words.

Zeke could see that this was about to go no where so he decided to try and ask her to do something with him. He just wasn't sure what there was that they would both enjoy. "So you wanna come with me to search for random things at the beach?"

"Uuh," Tina started as she quickly turned back to look through the window and see Linda writing something down behind the counter. "Sure," she replied as she looked back to him.

"Let's go!" He nearly cheered as he grabbed her hand and began making his way down the street.

oooooo

Present

"Let's go!" Bob yelled as he entered the car, slamming the door behind him. "I need to go home! He called someone!"

Bob was getting ready to panic, everyone could see it. And this time, he had reason too. They knew that there was no way in hell that this man would call the police, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't call friends for back up.

"All right, calm down," Larry said as he started driving. "It's probably nothing. We can have Chuck stay the night though and help you guard just to be safe."

"Right now I just need you to get me there," Bob stated as calmly as he could.

He was already in danger of losing his son, the thought of losing his entire family right now made him feel like he was about to entirely crack. Everything spinning around him, spiralling out of control and leaving him on his knees gasping for breath. If anything happened, he would never be able to live with himself.

"Oh my God, Larry! Just run it!" He demanded, beginning to get hysterical.

"We have ten thousand dollars worth of stolen goods on us! We can't afford to be attracting attention right now! How do ya expect to protect your wife and kids if you're in jail?"

Bob sat back in his seat, covering his eyes with his hand to try and calm himself. "Oh my God."

oooooo

Louise awoke from her light sleep to the sound of someone pounding on the door. Yawning, she looked around and remembered the events that lead up to her deciding to sleep here for the night.

"Mom," she whined, sitting up. "There's someone here."

"Hm?" Linda hummed as she turned over on her side.

It took her a moment, but it suddenly hit her that she did have a man out there that wanted her dead. Her eyes shot up as she sprang up from the bed. She quickly moved about the room, locking the door and moving the dresser to sit in front of it.

"Are you okay?" Louise asked, perplexed. If anything, she thought that she had just cracked.

"We just need to sit tight for a little while, alright?" Linda anxiously told her as she crawled back into bed.

"What's going on?"

Linda looked to her, not even sure what to say. "I'll explain later, when I can figure out how to tell you," she answered before wrapping her arms tightly around her little girl and tightly embracing her.

Louise was about to try and pull away and demand an explanation before she heard the actual door break. She clung to her mom as her eyes began to dart around the room, looking for anything that could be used as a weapon. Linda's grip growing tighter on her with each passing second.


	4. Half Measures

Chapter 4: Half Measures

One month earlier…

Linda stood at the register with about fifty dollars in her pocket that she had to add to their earnings. Randomly throughout the day she would make fake purchases, an order of fries, a drink, a burger. She needed to be able to show the receipts to the IRS. That was all she needed was the evidence that they didn't earn this money illegally.

It was hard for her. She saw the bills, heard everything that the doctor had to say. What they were paying now, this was only the beginning. They would need to be making ten times what they were now just to make ends meet. They had one child in the hospital and two to worry about at home.

Book keeping was not something that was new to her. She did it for Bob all the time. She would keep track of all the finances that came into this building and how much was spent on whatever they needed. That made it a littler easier for her to understand when Roger was teaching her how to launder money.

She knew that if they needed anything extra to use cash to pay for it. If for some reason one of the girls needed something for school, cash. If the car had to be fixed, cash. They had to look as though they were strapped for money. They had to purposely bounce checks here and there.

As much as she knew how important caution was, she still felt as though they needed more. They were each working a second job, she would work in the morning and be home for lunch, and then Bob would work after dinner. Sometimes she would even work a night shift here and there.

Linda wanted to contribute more. Bob was out there bringing home a few thousand more each week. All she was bringing home extra was a couple hundred per week. It was bad to want to add more to an unspendable pile, but she knew that when the time came that they would figure out a way to spend it. No matter what, they would figure out something.

She had an idea of what she could do, something simple, that would bring in a lot of money if successful - the oldest profession. All she had to do was convince her conscience that she wasn't doing anything wrong. As long as she got the money and Bob didn't find out, everything would be okay.

She waited until Bob left to go work with the guys. Tina and Louise would be all right on their own for one night, and Bob wouldn't be back until late. This was her opportunity to go out and see what she could do.

Standing before the mirror, she examined herself. She was wearing a low cut, tight fitting, black sleeveless shirt and a tiny royal blue mini skirt. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, showing off her gold hoops. Her makeup was slightly over dramatic with heavy eyeliner and bright red lipstick. She wasn't really sure if this was really what she should be wearing, it did look slightly ridiculous. It was what she saw in the movies though, and she didn't think that she looked that bad. Besides, the point was to look nothing like herself. The less recognizable she was, the better.

It was something that she spent all day talking herself into doing. It was something that needed to be done, not for her, not for Bob, but for the kids. That was what she had to keep telling herself as the guilt began to get to her.

Leaving her glasses on the dresser, she took a deep breath and turned towards the door. Things were a little blurry to her, but it was worth it for one night to make some extra money. Besides, it wasn't like she couldn't see where she was going. And maybe this was better. If she was with someone extremely unappealing, she might not truly see the difference. It might make it easier to get herself prepared.

The final thing she did before she left was make one stop: Gene's room. That was the push she needed to force herself out the door, the sight of her son's empty, dark room. As bad as she felt cheating on Bob, she felt even worse knowing that her son could be dying and she wasn't doing everything that she could to help.

There was a moment last week when she and Bob went to the hospital together. Gene had fallen into a coma. They were standing there at the side of his bed, just watching him. She didn't feel anything at the time, perhaps her defense mechanisms kicking in to keep her from completely losing it or she wasn't able to bring herself to believe what she was seeing was true. The whole thing felt very surreal.

As they walked out together, Bob's arm around her shoulders, it finally hit her - there might not be anything they could do to save him. Gene could be in there slowly drifting away from them, never returning.

It wasn't this big emotional scene. There weren't any tears, no one falling to their knees and the world crashing around them. It was nothing more than a simple pause of her heart and the brief inability to breathe.

When they returned home, Louise and Tina stayed locked up in their rooms and Bob had to head off to teach his class. That left her alone in the kitchen with her bottle of wine as she just sat and stared. Never before had she felt so helpless, so pathetic. Growing sick of herself, she headed to her son's room and sat down on the edge of his bed. She chugged from her bottle as she stared into the darkness while attempting to drink away the memories of earlier. She had seen her son dying and she accepted it and she hated herself for it.

After that night, she vowed that there would be nothing that would stop her from fighting. If there was a small chance that something could save Gene, she was going to make sure that they had the money for it. If the resources and the doctors weren't available here, they would move him somewhere else where he could be helped. She wasn't about to just accept anything anymore. He was her son and she wasn't about to lose him.

Walking out the door, she had to take in a deep breath. She was nervous. What if she got caught? She shouldn't, there weren't many cops and she knew the town well enough to know where they were right now. What if she got drugged? Again, she didn't think she should, but there was always the chance that someone would want the ride without having to pay. What if she met a lunatic? That was a definite possibility.

She made her way down the sidewalk, only the street lamps providing light for her. Her confidence grew with each step, her head held a little higher.

This wouldn't be so bad. It was sex. Sure, she was cheating on her husband that she happened to love very much, and maybe she was subjecting herself to the risk of getting sick and getting Bob sick, however, she needed the money. She needed to do this for Gene.

That little pep talk began to lose its value however, when she had started noticing that no one was really all that interested. After an hour she had only gotten one man to talk to her, and he was gay. It was getting frustrating, and somewhat offensive that no one was taking her up on her offers. She was even considering flirting with the women at this point.

"Hey! What's cookin' good lookin'?" Linda asked as seductively as she could manage, while leaning back against a light post and trying to push out her boobs a bit.

The man barely even stopped to look at her. He simply walked right past her without missing a step.

"Fine then! Be that way!" She called out to him, pushing herself away from the post.

Pouting, she turned back to start walking home with her arms crossed as she began to mumble to herself. This had all been a waste of time. She wasn't sure what upset her more at this point, the fact that she failed, or that there weren't any men here that seemed to want to sleep with her. It was rather odd, but she did find it unflattering that no one found her attractive enough.

As she left the corner, there was a man who had been lurking for a little while. He had been watching her for a small amount of time. There was something about her that was intriguing, he just couldn't gather the courage to actually approach her. Now however, he knew he had to speak up or forever miss his chance.

"I've been watching you for a while," he casually mentioned as he followed her.

The voice took Linda by surprise. Her arms dropped to her sides as she turned back to face him with a smile. He wasn't bad looking. He seemed like maybe he was a lawyer, there was something about him that told her he made a lot of money. It was probably the suit that he wore. No one just wore a suit for no reason.

"Really?" She questioned, getting excited. Maybe this would work out after all. "Then why didn't you say anything? I was starting to think I sucked."

She took a few steps towards him, trying to be as graceful as she could. "Imagine that, failing as a hooker," she laughed.

"Yes, well," he uncomfortably replied. "My name's Adrian, and uh, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come back to my place with me for the next couple of hours."

"Thank you!" Linda beamed with happiness. "I'll give ya a discount since you're my first," she teasingly told him as she went and stood beside him.

This was something that he had never done before. It seemed like a good idea, have someone there to get him through the next couple of hours without feeling lonely, offer him some entertainment. Her little remark however, made him question what he was doing.

"Ever?" He asked, growing discouraged, his expression falling.

Linda caught onto what he was thinking and laughed. "As a worker, silly." She went ahead and grabbed his shoulder to start leading him down the street. "Now, come on."

"Okay, good," he replied with a small, nervous laugh. He removed her hand and starting walking her down the opposite direction. "I live this way."

oooooo

Three hundred dollars. That was what she held in her hand, fifteen twenty dollar bills. That was the amount she was willing to risk her marriage for, the amount that she had thought could be used to save her son. It was a lot for one night, but it felt empty and useless. What was this small chunk of change going to accomplish?

The disappointing part was the fact that she would have to keep doing this to earn any real money. She would have to go out to that corner every night in that slutty little outfit praying to God that no one they actually knew caught her.

Never had she felt dirtier in her life. Sitting there on the edge of his bed, barely clothed in a soaking puddle of evidence of tonight's activities, she examined the money. Behind her, Adrian was snoring, his conscience clear.

That night she returned home and got right into the shower. The scolding hot water wouldn't wash away the events of the night, but it would erase the smell, the evidence. She hated his scent. Realistically, it couldn't have been that strong, most of it was in her mind, but she couldn't risk Bob smelling it. He was already close to losing a son, there was no need to make him feel as though he were simultaneously losing a wife.

Still awaiting his return, she crawled into bed and lay there in the dark. As desperately as she wanted to fall asleep before he joined her, she couldn't stop thinking about what she had done. She cheated on her husband. It was for money that they were going to use on their son, but was that really an excuse? Thinking about it more thoroughly, three hundred dollars was nothing. That was all she was getting, a measly three hundred dollars.

She heard the door open, the sound jarring her out of her daze as she lay there in the dark, her back to her husband. Her eyes widened as she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was afraid that he would catch on to what she had done, that he would just know.

Bob, closing the door behind him, was about to ask if she was still awake, but decided against it. The lights were out and the house was quiet. Those were signs that everyone here was sleeping.

As quietly as he could, he got into bed and scootched over to Linda. Lately he had found that he couldn't sleep unless he was holding her. The desperation in the situation left him a little more needy, a little more clingy to the rest of his family. His wife was the one that was keeping him going right now, and he wasn't about to let go of her.

The second that she felt his arm drape around her, her heart shattered. She had to tightly shut her eyes to try and hold back the tears. This was the man that she had hurt - the loving husband who was struggling to keep their family afloat while he endlessly worried about their ill son. He wasn't abusive, he wasn't ignoring her existence, cheating on her. He hadn't given her a reason to go out and betray him the way that she had.

oooooo

Present Day

"What do you mean what did I do? I shot him!" Bob frantically yelled, trying to explain to the rest of the car what he thought they had already known.

It was pretty obvious from the very beginning what he had planned on doing. The first thing they did was make sure that he had his gun. Then he sat there and gave them directions.

Chuck looked over to him, confused. There was one rule when it came to going after someone who was a threat to your life and your family's lives: you must kill them. Little warnings like that allowed people to call others, they allowed them to plot revenge and call you on your bluff. They didn't solve anything, they just made things worse.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Chuck inquired, a little too calmly.

Roger's eyes widened. He was a little newer than the others here. "Whoa there."

"I'm normally not one for murder, but this man was after Bob's wife. Right?" Chuck questioned, looking between the three of them. All he wanted was to make sure that Linda was safe, he didn't see that as being something to cause alarm.

"Yeah," Bob flatly replied.

Personally, he hated the idea of murder and never even seriously considered it. Sure, like everyone else, there were times where he had thought about it. It was nothing he could ever act on though. Right now with his family at stake was the only time where he almost felt comfortable with it. The sad part however, was that even with Linda's life being threatened, he wasn't so sure that he could actually pull the trigger when the time came.

"And she's more important than your conscience. Right?" Chuck asked, seeing the way that Bob was zoning out. He himself had the same argument in his head when it came to his first murder. Now he knew to never make the mistake of hesitating like that and he didn't want Bob to have to learn the same way that he had.

"What are you trying to say, Chuck?" Bob questioned, as if there was a chance that Chuck had an answer other than the obvious.

"You know what he's trying to say," Larry dryly stated, keeping his eyes glued to the road before him.

Chuck sighed and turned to look to Bob. He looked him straight in the eye and remained as calm as he possibly could at this point. "All you did by shooting him was piss him off. If you're gonna teach someone a lesson, don't half ass it. All you do with that is make things worse."

Bob just sat there, staring at him as he gulped. This was his chance to prove that he could defend the people that he loved. He just wasn't sure that he had it in him to handle this. He supposed he was going to have to find a way.

oooooo

"I really should have thought this through!" Linda cried as she tightly held onto her daughter.

The man was making his way up the stairs, incoherently hissing under his breath. Each step he took made Linda's heart pound a little harder. Here she was, risking her entire family for that one night that she decided to try and play the same game that Bob was playing. She didn't know any better and her daughter was about to die for that mistake.

"I'm so sorry!"

Louise sat there, the confusion amplifying her fear as she stared wide eyed towards the door. Suddenly, she struggled out of her mom's embrace and jumped up out of the bed.

"What the hell is going on, mom?" Louise asked as she opened the dresser drawer and began digging through it.

"I did some things without thinking, okay? I was panicked and wanted the money and now here we are!" Linda explained, trying to maintain some ounce of composure.

"That doesn't even make sense!" She harshly replied, slamming the drawer closed once she discovered the gun wasn't there.

Louise rushed over to the closet and grabbed a baseball bat that Bob kept in there. She made sure to stand before the dresser, ready to swing if the man entered. Maybe she didn't have that much of a chance in fighting him, but she sure as hell wasn't about to die in here with her mom without even trying.

"Now is not the time to be doing this!" Linda exclaimed, jumping out of bed and stealing the bat from her daughter's hands and standing guard before her.

oooooo

"Alright, Bob. You know what you gotta do?" Larry asked as he pulled up in front by the sidewalk.

He made sure the headlights were off before turning back and looking to Bob. Truth be told, he knew that he or Chuck probably should go with him, but this was something that Bob had to do for himself. He had to be able to prove that he could save his family if he had to. That was something that everyone in this business had to learn sooner rather than later.

"I know," Bob answered as steadily as possible.

It was obvious from the very beginning that he might have to actually kill someone. The worst part was that this was only the start of it. If he would have just killed Adrian, maybe no one would have known it was him and nothing would have come of it. Now they would have to killed whoever was here and then go back for Adrian. He had only made things worse for them.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. This was going to be something that would scar him for a while. The only thing that made it worth it was the fact that if he didn't so this, there would be his family's blood on his hands.

"Good luck!" Roger said as he saw Bob reach out for the door handle.

"Not helping!" He snapped, only glaring to him a second before leaving the van.


	5. Full Measures

Chapter 5: Full Measures

"Come on, Bob," he whispered to himself.

He walked along the dark sidewalk, gripping his gun. The only thing he could really hear was the beating of his own heart. After what seemed like forever, he made it to the door and stopped to take a deep breath, his back against the frame as he closed his eyes and held up the gun.

"Now or never," he quietly stated, opening his eyes.

Quickly, he turned and threw open the door, slamming it behind him to make sure that there would not be any witnesses. Even if the noise attracted attention, no one would see anything and that was the important part.

Everything happened so barely remembered running up the stairs and spotting the man. That is what happened though, that was how he got to standing there with his gun, cocked and loaded, silencer attached, pointed to the man who was trying to get to his wife and daughter on the other side of the door.

"Hey! Over here!" Bob shakily called, only wanting to get the man away from the door. It was more or less a way of stalling him while he prepared himself to actually shoot.

He couldn't really make out any identifying features on the intruder, he was more or less just a dark shape. In a way, that helped Bob. It was easier to pull the trigger when it didn't seem like a real person. That along with the fact that he needed to protect his family, he was able to finally do what he should have done a while - shoot.

"Bob!" Linda frantically called as soon as she heard the thud.

The bat dropped to the floor as a chill traveled down her spine. She expected to open that door and find her husband dead. She wasn't sure what to do now, whether she should remain in here hiding, call an ambulance, try to escape. Linda was slipping into panic mode.

"Dad!" Louise called out, instantly running towards the door.

The young girl didn't even feel anything, no fear, no sadness. All she knew was that she had to get out there to see what had happened. She had to assure herself that her father was alive and well. If he didn't make it, she wasn't so sure of what she would do.

Linda could see that she was about to move the dresser and run out there. It was quite possibly the only reason she was able to pull her out of her current daze.

"Don't! Not yet!" She warned, running over and grabbing her daughter.

Louise began to fight back, struggling to get out of her mom's grip. The only thing on her mind was getting out of this room and she wasn't about to let anyone stop her.

"Linda? Louise? You in there?" Bob called after hearing the yelling.

He looked back to see Chuck and Larry coming up to start getting rid of the body. The last thing he wanted was to have his wife and children see this, so he motioned for them to hurry as he went and stood near the door, hoping to block their view if the door were to open before they could remove the man.

Both of them froze in the bedroom, looking to the door and waiting for him to finally enter. There was a feeling of relief that fell over the entire room as they heard the sound of Bob's voice. Linda stood there, her hand on her chest as she tried to calm herself while Louise's face lit up and she pulled away and finally went to push the dresser out of the way. .

As soon as the doorway was cleared, Louise threw open the door. On the other side stood a Bob with blood splattered on him, and a puddle beside him. His gun was held loosely at his side by a hand that wanted nothing to do with the thing anymore.

"Oh my God," Linda gasped.

"What the hell happened to you?" Louise asked.

They both had a pretty good idea of what had occurred out there just seconds ago. It was just hard picturing him doing such a thing.

"I took care of the problem," he answered, awkwardly motioning to the gun.

As he peered into the room, he noticed that Tina was nowhere to be found. His heart stopped as he turned to look around the apartment. His mind began racing, jumping to the worst of conclusions.

"Oh my God. Where's Tina?" Bob panicked.

Linda could see the fear riddled on his features and moved towards him. "She's at a friend's house. She's safe, okay?" She assured him, gently grabbing his arm.

She knew that he had a lot he would have to deal with now tonight, she wasn't sure exactly what this all entailed, but she knew that it was about to be stressful. The last thing that he needed was to have one more thing to worry him.

Louise stood there, looking between the two. She was growing more agitated by the second. A man just came in here and tried to kill them. Being one of those people that could have died, she felt entitled to some sort of explanation.

"Can somebody please tell me what just happened here?" She implored.

oooooo

Two Weeks Earlier

Linda stood beside the bed, in the process of getting dressed. This was always the worst part. Once it was when she had the time to really think about what had been occurring here. .

It always felt dirty as she slipped on her underwear, as though she were suddenly aware of his remnants as the cloth hit her skin. It made her sick to her stomach to feel the cold dampness being entrapped in the garments and pressed against her flesh. She shuddered before grabbing her bra and sitting on the side of the bed, her back to Adrian who was lying back and resting.

"Adrian? I think we need to talk," she flatly stated as she put on her bra, reaching back to fasten it.

This was something that she had been meaning to do for a while and tonight she had enough money. She had all she could take of this and it needed to end.

"Sure thing. What is it?" Adrian casually responded as he sat up and placed his hand on her shoulder.

She instantly shrugged off his hand and turned back to face him. "I can't do this anymore."

Her words were harsh. She had to make sure that he completely understood. If he didn't get what she was trying to tell him, she was going to scream. Over the past weeks everything had been building up within her, the anger, the feeling of absolute loss of control. She felt as though she had been beginning to spiral out of control and lose touch with reality.

"We can take a ten minute break if you need," he offered, not giving that much thought to the statement.

Part of her felt as though he were probably messing with her, pretending to not know what she was saying. Then again, her luck seemed to be bad enough to the point where there was a chance that he truly did not understand.

"That's not what I meant," Linda coldly stated. She turned her back to him and thickly swallowed. "I'm married, I can't keep doing this to my Bobby."

At that second, every ounce of pent up anxiety, the anger, the guilt, everything that had been festering within her disappeared for the briefest of moments. Relief washed over her. This was all going to be over with and she would be able to move on and take care of more important things. She would always have to live with what had been done, but now at least she was moving in the right direction and starting to take some control.

"What are you trying to say?" Adrian questioned, trying to hold himself together.

He had worked hard to try and form this connection with someone. This wasn't the best, he did have to pay her, but he was willing to take what he could get and he wasn't about to just let her take that all away from him.

"I'm not doing this anymore," Linda firmly stated. "We're done, Adrian. Finished."

A sharp single laugh left his lips as he smirked to her. "I don't think you understand."

"I can pay you back for tonight," Linda offered, looking back over her shoulder to him.

"I don't accept refunds!" he harshly told her, turning to completely face her on the bed.

The severity in his voice struck a nerve. Her eyes widened as she scrambled for the words. All of the relief and confidence that she had possessed were gone, leaving her vacant of any feeling besides that of impending doom.

"So I can just go ahead and leave then?" She slowly asked, cautiously standing to her feet.

It was irrational to think that she might have a chance of leaving this room without having to really face him, but she had to try. Everything was falling apart and she needed to gain back some control over her life. Her son might have been sick, but she still had two daughters she had to be there for and a husband that she shouldn't be hurting.

Her eyes were glued to him as she grabbed her things, not even bothering to try and finish getting dressed as she attempted to make her way around to the bed and towards the door. As careful as she wanted to be, she felt that she had to get out of there. This man was more unstable than she had previously thought.

"One Twelve Ocean Avenue. Bob's Burgers," Adrian calmly said.

"How do you know that?" She questioned, stopping in her tracks and turning to fully face him.

She watched him, trying to figure out what was running through his mind as he slowly got up from the bed and approached her. Her mind kept telling her to turn and run for it, to run until she couldn't see this place anymore. The only thing stopping her from doing so was that he knew too much. There was nothing to stop him from going after her family, and the look in his eyes was enough to warn her that he had every intention of doing just that if she didn't cooperate.

"Does it really matter?" He asked.

A smirk came across his face as he watched her try to back away from him. She was only backing herself into the wall, and making all of this easier on him. As a matter of fact, he spotted one of his empty beer bottles on the window sill and retrieved it, breaking it as he made his way over to his captive.

She gulped as soon as she felt the cold wall touch her back. There was no where else to go, not that she had much of a choice anyways. She jumped at the sound of the glass shattering, her hands moving to lay flat against the drywall behind her.

Adrian closed the space between them, his smirk growing more and more sinister. His free hand took hold of her shoulder and pushed her, pinning her to the wall. The whimper she emitted as her back smacked against wall brought him a great amount of pleasure that was irreplaceable.

"Does it change the fact that I am fully expecting you to do whatever I want? I bought you, Linda. Now you'd better get yourself back onto that bed and do as I say," he threatened, holding the jagged glass to her neck.

oooooo

Earlier today

The previous night, Linda and Bob had went to the hospital to see Gene. They were both free for the first time in a while and wanted to be able to go together. Most times they would each just stop in on their way home from work, ten minutes here, thirty minutes there. It was just enough to keep updated and to make sure to be present.

Last night however, she was supposed to be with Adrian. It was a risky choice she made, but she needed to be there with Bob and Gene. She needed that time with her husband and her son and she needed to be able to actually sit down and be there with her baby for a few hours.

Last night, everything was fine, but now she was starting to grow paranoid. She mindlessly stood there, filling the napkin dispenser between her fake purchases. Her eyes would dart up at every little sound, the passing people out on the sidewalk causing small panic attacks that would only subside once she realized they weren't Adrian.

Finally having enough, she dropped everything she was doing and scanned the area for a second. Bob was just in the kitchen and she figured that he would catch her, but he wouldn't say anything, not with everything that was happening.

She reached under the counter and grabbed a bottle of wine that she had been hiding. It was the only thing that had been keeping her sane ever since Gene had been admitted into the hospital. She quickly chugged a bit and set the bottle back in it's place. While she was crouched down though, she heard the bell on the door.

"What can I…" Linda started as she stood back up. She froze at the site before her.

"Cheeseburger," Adrian plainly ordered as he took a seat at the counter.

She stood there, not sure what to do or say. Any wrong move could end the entire family. This was the moment that she had been trying to prepare herself for all morning and now that it was here she still had no idea how to handle herself.

"Taking a cheeseburger, Bob!" She finally called back, not even daring to look over her shoulder and see her husband.

She was sure that he said something in response, but she didn't hear much of anything as she stepped towards him and leaned forward on the counter. As scared as she was, she was angry. She was tired of this man and the fact that Bob had to see him caused something to snap within her. It was a burst of bravery that she instantly regretted.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Linda harshly whispered.

"I should ask you the same thing, Mrs. Belcher. I didn't think you were dumb enough to skip out on one of our sessions," he calmly answered.

"I had something more important to do," she defensively informed him, beginning to recompose herself. "I'll be there tomorrow night."

"You'd better, or else," Adrian told her, standing and taking hold of her collar.

"Stop it, Adrian! My husband's right around the corner!" Linda begged, trying to remain calm as she was being pulled over the counter top.

"I gave you too much credit," Adrian hissed.

He let go of her shirt and shoved her away from him. It wasn't so much that she had missed one of their meetings that upset him, it was the fact that she was being so defiant, as if she were about to start setting some of the rules and making decisions here. He wanted to show her that he could ruin her within minutes if he wanted to.

Linda caught her balance and swallowed. There was a part of her that wanted to fight, and she knew that she could. All this abuse just felt warranted. Before, it was just some guilt from cheating, now though she really knew that her family was at stake. She could be the reason that her family gets killed. This simple little bit of physical harassment was nothing compared to what she truly thought she deserved.

The click of a gun brought her back to reality, her eyes widening as she noticed the weapon pointed at her. Out of instinct, she took a few careful steps back, her hands up in the air, surrendering to him.

"Now since you can't seem to comprehend anything, I'm going to say this nice and slow. You come tomorrow night, and you do whatever I ask of you. If not, I know where you live and I know where your children live," he ominously warned.

"Linda!" Bob's yell pierced through the air as he stood there facing her from right outside the kitchen door at the end of the counter, frozen, the plate in his hand falling to ground.

There were so many things running through his mind. For a moment, he thought this was his fault. He was trying to think back to when he could have messed up on something, where he could have made someone mad and wasn't careful enough to cover up his tracks.

As soon as he heard the man, Adrian quickly turned to him, his gun remaining to Linda. "Don't! Come any closer. This is between me and Linda."

"What the hell is going on here?" Bob questioned, his voice cracking as he did his best to not raise it and showcase his panic.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Adrian's mouth as he looked between the couple. There was something that he could do that he knew Linda would hate, something that would tear them both apart. One night, after they had finished their thing, they sat there and she confessed to him how bad she felt. She opened her heart to him.

The man climbed over the counter and stood in front of Linda, lowering his gun. "Why don't you tell him, Linda? Why don't tell him how you're endangering your children's lives because you don't wanna sleep with me anymore?" He inquired all too casually. There was even a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"What?" Was all Bob could mutter, his heart shattering.

For a moment, he couldn't even process the idea. It was more like some sort of sick joke. Of course there was more to the story that was presently unfolding before him, he just couldn't help but feel the betrayal. All this time he hadn't thought that this was something he had to worry about, he didn't think he would lose her. Hell, he was under the impression that he was doing better than most husbands during a time of distress such as this. He stayed loyal, made sure to take more of the workload, was willing to listen whenever she needed to talk.

Apparently none of that was good enough. And if she couldn't appreciate his actions, then there was something deeper to the issue, she had a problem with him. There was something that she wasn't telling him and he was starting to think that maybe she just didn't harbor the same feelings for him that he felt towards her. Perhaps the passion that they both shared years ago was fading and he was just too blind to see it.

Linda just watched him, her lip quivering with tears gathering in her eyes. She wanted to speak, to say something, anything. But what could she say? It was obvious there was nothing she could do to help the situation. He was hurt, and he should be. He should be hurt by what she did, and he should be hurt by the secrets she kept, and he could be hurt by the fact that she went on pretending there was nothing wrong while laying there and accepting his comfort while knowing that the entire time she was seeking help elsewhere.

At first it was for the money, but later one once she started getting to know Adrian, there was some emotional connection. It was before the abuse, but there was something there. He was able to listen without having to hold back his own emotions for her. There was no fear of adding to the stress he was already feeling. Back home, she worried she was burdening Bob, at Adrian's, she knew she wasn't.

At that point, she had crossed the line. Those couple of nights where there was more to the sex than just monetary gain. There was a need that he was filling for her, one that Bob couldn't at the time. He offered her the chance to forget - to forget that her son was sick, that her husband was out doing something that could possibly get him killed, to forget that her daughters were slowly drifting away from her and she had no real idea what they were doing.

"Why don't you tell him what a pathetic excuse for a human being you are and how you're nothing more than a dumb cunt who could barely sell herself?" Adrian added, taking another step towards her.

A small gasp was emitted from her lips as she turned her attention back to him. Her eyes glued to his as he looked to her with disgust. Once again, she couldn't argue.

"You're nothing but trash," he quietly stated before back handing her with the gun.

Linda fell to the ground with a thud. Her lip was busted, the blood flowing down her chin as the tears began to fall from her eyes. She could hear Adrian climb back over the counter and leave, but she didn't even think to look. Her attention was all focused on Bob, who was still in the same spot as earlier. The pain evident on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bobby," she whimpered, barely able to choke out the words through the sobs. "I never meant to hurt you. We needed the money. It was for Gene! It was our only chance of saving him, Bobby! We can't lose him!"

All she wanted was to know that there might be some chance for forgiveness. She needed him now more than ever, although she knew that she didn't deserve him. That was evident for the past couple of weeks.

"Please," she weakly begged.

Bob shook his head. He loved Linda, and he always would. Even now there was a small part of him that wanted to go to her side, help her up from the ground. It just wasn't possible now. He never thought that the day would come where the sight of her made him physically ill.

Silently, he turned and headed back into the kitchen. He had to be alone now, process this. Deep down, he understood. She, just like him, was desperate. That's what happens when one is faced with the gut wrenching reality that their child might be dying - total and complete desperation leaving you with the inability to even consider that your actions might have consequences. As long as there's a glimmer of hope that could come from something, it seems worth the risk.

It was a feeling that he knew all too well. That desperation was the only reason that he went out there with a gun, and the only reason that he sunk to stealing. And just moments ago he was convinced that that man was here because of him, so realistically, he did not have too much room to talk. Emotions weren't rational however, and he was going to feel the sting of her actions for a while.

Linda watched him leave, her eyes closing as soon as he was gone. Her head went back against the wall. Never before had she felt so alone in the world.

oooooo

Sitting up in the living room, she was curled up in the chair and staring blankly towards the bedroom. She had gone completely numb. It was close to the time that Bob would be closing the restaurant, which meant that she would have to face him soon and see how badly she had hurt him.

The door opened and closed. There were slow, steady steps making their way up the flight of stairs. Linda knew that she should have been nervous, but all she could feel was regret. Tears began swelling in her eyes as she braced herself for the coming confrontation.

Bob walked as slowly as he could manage. This was all too much for him to fully comprehend, and now he had to go in there and face her. He had to look her in the eye and realize what it was that she had done. There was only one question he had for her: why? Why was this the only thing she felt that she could do? Why did she feel that this was better than any other alternative? There had to be something more to it than money.

Reaching the entrance of the living room, he paused. His eyes scanned the marks on his bruised and battered wife. There was a genuine concern that seeped through the anger pumping through his veins. He was already planning on going out and getting revenge for her. Besides that, he was scared. This man knew where their children lived. He had to take care of this before anyone else got hurt.

"Lin?" His voice firm.

She looked to him, not sure what to say. "I'm sorry," she choked out once more.

"Then why'd you do it?" He icily questioned, his entire body tensing.

Linda sniffled, shrugging. She knew, there was no question about it, money. That was it. It didn't appear however, that Bob would be willing to accept that answer.

"I wanted to help," she answered as steadily as possible in her current state.

Everything she was about to get, every insult he could hurl at her, she deserved it. She knew that she messed up, she was the one in the wrong. She didn't have to go out there and sell herself, there were some other things that she would have been able to do. The problem was that they didn't pay nearly as well.

"What about the second job?" He asked, doing his best to keep his voice from rising.

"It wasn't enough!" She finally snapped as she got to her feet.

Something switched within her, a dam finally opened and allowed all of the bottled up fears and insecurities to finally escape and come to the surface. It was a release that she had been longing for, but afraid to have. Her face was red with anger as tears of despair and frustration stained her cheeks. Fists tightly clenched at her sides.

It wasn't Bob that she was mad at, he just happened to be there. He was the one that broke her and he was the one that was going to have to be her punching bag.

"We weren't bringing in enough, Bob! Every fucking cent we had was going towards a doctor that can't even help him! I was standing there laundering money as though it meant something, it would actually help, but what the hell good is it to have money that we can't even spend? We have other kids! Kids that I haven't even seen yet today! You're in the restaurant all day putting on some fucking charade and then out all night! I have to go work with a bunch of teenagers at a fast food place and come back here and pretend that everything's fine!" Linda yelled accusingly as she slowly closed the space between them.

Bob was stunned at the fury that had suddenly overcome his wife. She was feeling helpless and it was getting to her. He wanted to be able to do something to make this all better, but it wasn't that easy. There were no special words, no dinner reservations or flowers that could fix this.

Even if he could, he still felt betrayed, and that feeling boiled inside of him. If she wanted a fight, she would get one. If she wanted to sit here and justify her infidelity and her putting them in danger by feeding him this bullshit claim about how there were no other options, then he would have no problem just putting everything out there for her.

"So what's your point, Linda!?" He harshly questioned.

The severity in his words took her by surprise, causing her to slightly cowar. She wasn't scared of him, but scared of what might result from this. She wasn't blind, this wasn't leading anywhere good. One of them was going to say something, and there would be no going back. The best she could do was brace herself for his worst and then hope that she wouldn't say something stupid in return.

"Gene's sick so you decide it's a good idea to go out and sleep around? How did that work out for you? One kid wasn't enough for you to worry about? You needed to have the entire household under the threat of death? And why? Because I wasn't here all the time? Because I was so misunderstanding of you and I never took the time to try and be there for you while I was barely able to take care of myself?"

He didn't really want to throw all of that in her face, he just couldn't manage to bite his own tongue. No matter how much he loved her, he still wanted her to feel a tiny bit of the pain that he was feeling.

Her lips trembled, a shuddering breath escaping her as she resisted the urge to begin sobbing.

"I didn't try with Danny. I...I had to this time," she stated, her voice strained.

The words cut through him, leaving him to feel numb. His expression softened as he blankly stared to her, unable to move. He didn't even realize when Linda began rushing towards the bedroom, sobbing as she passed him.

"Lin! Wait!" He called, wheeling around to face the door as it slammed.

Closing his eyes with a heavy sigh, he turned and headed for the couch. It had been such a long time since he had heard the name even mentioned. Sitting down, he buried his face in his hands. In that moment, all of his pain had been pushed aside as the memories filled his mind.

It was one of the worst times of his life, Danny. It was during that time that he truly learned what it meant to lose someone. Never before had he received such a gift and in turn suffered such a great loss. And he knew that whatever he felt, Linda was feeling the same thing, maybe even worse than him.

If only he had known what was going through his wife's mind. He kicked himself for not even considering that she was thinking about their Danny right now. It was awful similar to Gene's situation, a little too similar for his liking. The more that he sat there and considered how closely related they were, he felt as though he was about to get sick.

Now, he knew a little bit of what Linda must have been facing. Before now he really did think that Gene would just get better and that he would come home and join them. In the back of his mind he must have known how naive that was. Somewhere inside of himself he must have realized that this same thing happened all those years ago and remembered how it ended - with his wife sobbing and barely able to stand while he numbly stared, forgetting how to breathe, maybe even wondering if it were worth the energy to do so.

That was probably the reason he never made the connection. His own mind knew that he would never be able to handle it. He couldn't handle the thought of losing his Gene, so he wasn't allowing himself to see the signs that he might not make it. All of his optimism had been some sort of cruel joke that was finally revealing itself to him, taunting him with the perfect outcome that he could never have.

oooooo

Present

"Right now I need you two to stay here. I gotta go do something," Bob hastily informed them.

It was apparent that the others were done and waiting on him. Chuck texted him, asking what he was doing, and Larry was in there doing some clean up on the scene. Now was the time for him to go out and prove to himself and to his family that he truly could take care of them, no matter what.

"Where are you going?" Linda asked, grabbing his arm as he turned to leave and looking to him with desperation.

After the events of tonight, she needed him. It didn't matter that she still felt awkward around him and knew that he was still upset with her. She nearly died and so did Louise. She couldn't just go back into that bedroom and pretend nothing happened. This was the man that saved them and she wanted him to stay with them, just in case.

Bob looked back to her and saw how worried she was. He didn't really want to go, but he had to. It was for the best if he went out and took care of this right away, get Adrian out of the picture before he had a chance to do anything else.

"I'll tell you about it when I get back," he sighed, knowing that if he told her everything she would only protest more. She must have known, but he knew the confirmation would push over the edge.

"Lin?" Bob asked, stopping for a moment. He had said this earlier, but he felt that she needed to hear it again now. "I love you."

"I love you too," Linda replied, her expression softening.

It was funny how throughout this entire horror show of a day that those words could make her feel so much better. It was a small way for him to say that he wasn't going to abandon her.

"I'm sorry," she said as she let go of his arm.

Bob nodded to her with a small smile before turning back and heading towards the door. Linda just stood there, watching him. She knew what he was going to do, and she was scared to death that he might not return.

"What's going on?" Louise implored, breaking Linda out of her daze.

The woman sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Louise wasn't going to drop the subject anytime soon, and it wasn't as though she hadn't been there for everything. She deserved some answers.

"Louise, come here," she told her, patting the space beside her.

The young girl rolled her eyes. She was clearly going to make some sort of production out of this. All she wanted was the basic answer, not a huge story. Regardless, she still complied and joined her.

Linda looked down to Louise, trying to gage how much of this she would even understand. There was a lot that she seemed to get that was beyond her age, but this wasn't just some raunchy phrase or adult joke, this was something that involved a lot of feelings the ten year old hasn't had the chance to really experience.

"Mommy did something bad. She sorta turned to the oldest profession in the books," she informed her, hoping she wouldn't have to say too much more on the subject.

"What?" Louise asked. She had a small idea of what she was saying, she knew that it wasn't anything legal.

Linda's shoulders dropped with disappointment. The last thing she wanted to do was have to sit here and fully explain that she had sunk to selling herself. The word itself, prostitute, made her feel nauseas.

"I might have…. chosen a corner to work," she added, attempting once more to make it sound better than it was.

"Oh! Sick! What the hell is wrong with you?" She yelled, jumping up from the bed.

It all clicked the second that those words had left her mother's mouth. Everything that Linda had been doing suddenly made sense - the late night outings, the bruises and cuts, the makeup and jewelry. She wasn't so sure how she had missed it now. The more she thought about it, the more disgusting it was. Her own mom was out there getting paid to sleep with the most pathetic, gross, men out there. They had to be awful, why else would they have to pay for sex?

Even worse than that, she was cheating on her dad. She was hurting him. And bringing killers into the house. She didn't want to get too mad at her though, considering the people she herself was working with now.

"Well why'd you go out and gamble?" She defensively questioned.

Linda knew that she was in the wrong here, but she couldn't handle her daughter reacting so harshly. It upset her in a way she hadn't expected, as if even her own daughter could agree with the insults that Adrian had spewed at her earlier.

"You could have gambled with me!" Louise insisted.

"You shouldn't have been gambling at all!" She argued, her voice rising.

"I was just trying to help!"

"Well so was I!" Linda snapped.

She saw what she was doing and decided it best to just stop arguing. There was no way that she could actually defend herself. She was trying to convince someone else that her activities were okay because it was for the family. She lead a killer to her child, cheated on her husband, and allowed herself to be abused, but it was okay apparently. In telling Louise that what she did was okay, she was telling her that what she was doing was also okay. The gambling and the cheating were all okay because it was for someone else.

"I'm sorry, you're right. It was sick," she said in defeat, her shoulders slumping as she looked down towards the ground.

As soon as Linda calmed herself, Louise did the same and reclaimed her seat beside her. "You could have sold meth. It worked well for Walter White," she suggested.

"He died, Louise," she replied, not even bothering to ask how she would know.

"I know where he made his mistakes. I'll tell you what not to do!" She practically begged, growing all too excited for Linda's comfort.

"I've risked my life enough today, thank you."

oooooo

Bob stood out in the back alley near the door to Adrian's place. The darkness was only increasing his paranoia as he made sure to watch out for anyone that could just happen to appear. He knew Larry was checking out the area for him, making sure that they were alone. It didn't make him feel any better, it wasn't like he was able to actually go into the house and make sure, all he could do was peak in the windows.

There were footsteps coming towards him, causing him to begin to panic. He could run, but then he would be abandoning everyone. Yelling out to everyone and causing a commotion was also a possibility, one that would land them all in jail, but nonetheless a possibility. The last one was the least appealing, he could shoot the person. He even tightened his grip on his gun as thought about it. The only problem was that he could be shooting someone who was innocent.

"It's clear, Bob. The only one in there is Adrian, and he's nursing a wound," Larry stated as he joined Bob.

It took him a second to gather himself. There was a sigh of relief as soon as he realized who it was. It was only when he released that air that he noticed he had been holding his breath.

"Thank you," he replied, trying to scan the area.

Hesitating, Bob stopped and looked down at the gun. It was still sinking in, he was about to kill a man. He had done so earlier, but that was different somehow. He pulled the trigger on instinct, his family was in danger. If he hadn't of reacted the way he did, they might be dead now.

The smell of cigarette smoke brought him back to where he was and reminded him that he had to start moving. The scene before him as he looked up though, caused him to pause. It was just Larry, standing there smoking. He appeared calm and steady. Bob was suddenly overcome with this morbid fascination. This man standing right in front of him knew what was happening here, they were in the same situation. Yet, the taking of a life didn't seem to bother him. He was handling it the same way that one would handle clearing off the sidewalk or reading the paper.

Then it finally hit him, he was simply used to all of this. But, how many times did one have to pull the trigger before it became routine? How many times had Larry had to look a dead man in the eyes right after shooting him?

"You can do this," Larry mentioned reassuringly. He had noticed that Bob wasn't moving and figured he needed some pep talk or something.

"I know," he responded.

Gulping, Bob forced himself to finally move towards the back door and check to see if it was open. It was, and somehow that left him feeling unlucky. Those extra few minutes trying to find an alternate route or picking the lock would have been nice.

He tried to open the door as quietly as possible, but he had still startled the man.

"Who's there?" Adrian called from the bathroom.

Bob jumped at the sound of his voice, but kept moving forward, using it to track down exactly where he was. The house was mostly dark save for a few illuminated lamps in the living room and what looked like a bedroom.

Making his way through the kitchen and down the hall, he studied his surroundings. There weren't any pictures or decorations, nothing that really made the place a home. It was oddly comforting to him, to not have to be reminded that this man was in fact a human being. It wasn't hard to harbor ill feelings towards him, and want to hurt him, murder was just a new concept to him. It still felt as though he was taking something into his own hands that he wasn't meant to take.

Bob wasn't one for religion. He never really thought about God or whether or not there was an afterlife or any of that. Now however, he was hoping that whatever being was up there, would forgive him for taking over their judgement as he gripped his weapon, his finger ready to pulled the trigger.

"I've got a gun!" Adrian threatened as he heard the footsteps.

He sat in there in the bathtub, doing his best to bandage the bloody, wounded shoulder. He was already starting to feel lightheaded, but he wasn't about to just die in here and he certainly wasn't about to allow someone else to kill him. Even if he didn't really have a gun, or any sort of mobility.

Bob stopped before reaching the open door, closing his eyes as his back rested against the wall beside the threshold. The fear in Adrian's tone told him that he probably didn't possess a gun, but he couldn't be completely sure. It took him a few seconds to shake off the threat and finally turn to enter the room, his gun held out, ready.

"So do I," he replied.

It was a challenge as he attempted to not look at his target. HIs head was turned away, eyes tightly shut. He only peeked through one eye a couple of times to make sure that he was aiming the gun correctly. He could hear Adrian struggling to get out of the tub, water splashing as he moved.

"And now, this is for Linda!" He firmly announced, more to motivate himself before pulling the trigger.

oooooo

Not being able to sleep, Louise crawled out of bed and started to head towards the kitchen. She had moved back to her own room after Linda had told her everything. It wasn't that she was mad at Linda, she just felt like being alone for the time being. She didn't even really blame her, she couldn't. If anything, she was starting to wonder if her own little side job would bring in people like that, ones that would come looking for them in the middle of the night.

Passing the bathroom, she noticed that the door was cracked open and the light was on. It made her stop and peek in to see her mother sitting there, staring.

"What is that?" Louise questioned as soon as she entered and saw a white stick sitting on the side of the sink.

Linda was about to scold her, tell her to knock, but she just didn't have the energy. All she could focus on right now was that test. Her entire future depended on that thing. Even if she didn't think it was possible for that thing to be positive, she still had to see it with her own eyes. Besides, her luck lately hadn't been the best. It was best to make sure.

"Just a test," she plainly told her.

It suddenly hit Louise what kind of test that was, and her eyes widened as she looked between the woman and the stick. It scared her, the thought of a new baby around here. First off, for the obvious reasons, she didn't want to be replaced as the baby of the family. She was getting ignored enough lately as it was, there was no need to bring in another child.

There was something else though, something that felt wrong to even think. Of course, there was a chance that this baby could be either Bob's or Adrian's. And knowing that there was a chance that this baby wasn't Adrian's, it made her feel like it could be a replacement baby. A baby to have because Gene wasn't doing so well.

That wasn't the case, and she knew it, but there was a part of her that believed they would move on from him quicker if there were a baby around, and that thought nearly made her physically ill. Who was this kid to come in and take away the impact that Gene had on this family? They couldn't forget him that easily. She wouldn't let them.

"Why are you taking that?" She apprehensively asked.

Linda could see see how worried her daughter was, and it struck a chord deep inside of her. There's no anger or comment about how that's disgusting or whatnot. For once the little girl is nearly speechless. That was how she knew that Louise had some grasp on the situation.

As a mother, all she had ever wanted to do was shield her children from the horrors of the world. She herself had never experienced anything too bad as a child and it was nice. There were money issues here and there, and the typical growing pains that everyone faces at one time or another, but all in all, nothing awful. She wanted to be able to allow her kids that chance.

Right now, she was failing. It had gotten to the point where even Louise was feeling the affects of everything. Her fierce little girl was losing her edge and it pained her. All she wanted was to be able to convince her that everything was going to be okay, but she couldn't even lie to herself like that anymore. There were going to be consequences for all of this, and everyone would have to pay in some way or another. The most she could do was hope that no one would come out of this too scarred.

"I just wanna make sure," she told her, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

"You want me to go get the coat hanger ready in case it's positive?" Louise offered, forcing a small joke followed by an uncomfortable laugh - trying to lighten the mood.

"No. You don't…" Linda started with a sigh as she looked down to her lap. It suddenly hit her what her child had actually said and her head shot back up, shocked. "How do you know about coat hangers?"

"TV, internet, school," Louise casually answered with a shrug.

Linda just sighed, deciding that maybe it wasn't all too important to really discuss this right now. Louise had always seemed to know more than she should, why start trying to figure it out now? Especially when there was something more important on her mind.

"Can you do me a favor?" Linda requested, mustering enough energy to allow herself to be as firm as possible. She needed to get the point across that she was serious. "Don't mention of word of this to Tina. Worrying about any of this won't do her any good."

"When would I tell her? She's never home. We don't go to the same school anymore," Louise inquired.

"Just promise me," Linda sternly demanded.

"I promise," she assured her, slightly taken aback by the sudden shift in Linda's temper.

"I'm sorry," Linda stated, defeated.

Leaning her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes. Since Gene had fallen ill, she had been Danny, but after that argument, he had been circling her thoughts more and more. It had been so long since she had dwelled on those events like this. It wasn't as though she and Bob wanted to forget about him, they always wanted to remember him. It just wasn't something they were willing to discuss with the kids. It wasn't important for them to know. Therefore, they themselves rarely ever mentioned him.

Opening her eyes, she turned her head to look to Louise who was standing there, looking over to see if she could see anything on the test. The results were probably ready, but it could wait a moment. It wasn't as if the results would change based on the amount of time you waited to read it.

"You wanna know why I did it?" Linda questioned.

She was stepping into a gray area, throwing something at Louise that she may not be able to handle yet, but she had to talk about it with someone. And after tonight, she felt a little closer to Louise, like she could trust her a bit more. Besides, she knew everything else, what was one more bit of information?

"Well yeah," she matter of factly answered as she approached her mother. She put the lid down on the toilet and took a seat, attentively awaiting the explanation she felt she never truly received. "It's not like it's something you just choose to do because you're bored. And you're not paying for college or fighting with your dad."

Linda turned to fully face her, her hands down at her sides, gripping the side of the tub as she ignored the comments, barely even hearing them as she focused on her thoughts. A grimness flooded her eyes as she looked to the other, a small bit of hesitation as her mouth fell slightly agape. There was so much going on, it was hard to bring herself to recount the events that had occurred sixteen years ago, yet it was all that had been in the back of her mind.

It was something that kept her awake at times. She would lie there and go through the events over and over again in her head, looking at each moment where she could have done something differently.

"Tina's not the oldest," Linda bluntly stated.

Louise furrowed her brow in confusion as she tried to wrap her mind around what had just been said. The dark truth behind what had just been confessed had not yet been comprehended. She simply thought Linda was cracking under the pressure, something that she thought would have happened a while ago.

"His name was Danny. He died before Tina was even born," Linda explained.

"What?" Was all Louise could respond.

It suddenly made sense as to why Linda could be so clingy with them now, but that didn't mean that she had to go out and sell herself. It still didn't quite make sense.

Linda swallowed back a lump that had been forming in the back of her throat, her eyes watering. As much as her body wanted her too, she couldn't actually cry. She was too numb, too tired. She was plain exhausted.

"The doctors told me that he died of natural causes. He had been sick for months and no one could diagnose him. The doctors kept screwing up and we were paying to keep his unconscious body alive. After six months of getting nowhere with results and Danny only getting worse, I found out I was pregnant with Tina. We decided that it might be best to just pull the plug," she explained, her voice cracking.

She uncomfortably shifted, her hands moving to rest in her lap. That was a choice that they had made so many years ago, and it proved a good choice. They needed money for Tina, and they ended up really needing the money for her glasses, for the few times that she needed medical attention when she was little.

This was one of those rare times in which Louise had absolutely nothing to say. She didn't know what she could say. The story shocked her. It was weird how there could have been another baby and none of them knew. He was erased so quickly. It was as if he had never existed, and that scared her. No pictures, no mentions. Nothing.

Sniffling, Linda nodded before lowering her head to look down to her hands. "I just needed to try everything I could this time. It was different, with Danny. We thought we could each work two different jobs and make everything okay."

She looked up to Louise, eyes cold as she swallowed. Her demeanor was calm, but there was a deep regret that shown through in her expression.

"There's not a day that goes by where I don't wonder what could have happened if we could have just made a little more money. He might still be alive if we could have found a better doctor. Maybe we could have afforded better tests or they would have treated us as a higher priority if we could have paid all of our bills on time."

Tears finally fell down her cheeks as she felt her stomach drop. "I already lost one baby because I half assed my attempts to bring in money. I wasn't about to lose another."

It took Louise a minute to be able to say anything. She just sat there, frozen as she watched her. "I'm sorry," she awkwardly muttered.

Linda didn't even think about it as she leaned forward and hugged her youngest daughter. It wasn't for comfort so much as it was for some reminder. She needed some sort of physical contact to keep her grounded and allow her to remember that she was real and that she needed to be here for her children.

She couldn't afford to lose touch with reality right now and be consumed by the void that resided within her. It's been there ever since the death of Daniel. It wasn't huge, it wasn't all that powerful since she had taken control of it. As of recent however, it had been growing and pushing her towards the edge of a bottomless pit of darkness that was begging to claim her for all of eternity.

For what seemed like the one hundredth time that night, Louise returned the hug. This time, however, was different. Shaky arms wrapped around the woman, clinging onto her for dear life.

The threat of losing people became greater every day. Louise knew that her parents were slipping away a while ago, she could see it in the way that they acted, their constant flat expressions. They were gone all the time, exhausted whenever they returned. Gene was sick, Tina was always gone anymore.

There was something that clicked with her, she understood. There was a small understanding of the fact that Linda could be pulled away from her by all of this, and that dwelling on this wasn't helping. If anything, it was pulling her further away from them.

Linda finally pulled back from her, wiping her face clean and offering her a tiny, forced smile of gratitude. "Thank you, sweetie. I'm sorry you had to hear all of that."

"It's nothing," Louise replied, trying to sound as though she were able to shrug it off so easily.

"Well I'm still sorry," she told her.

Louise just nodded as she looked back to the test. It was a weird thing to turn to for a subject change, but it seemed more optimistic than talking about the brother she never got to meet. At least that thing had a chance of being negative and giving them some relief.

"Should it be done yet?" She questioned, turning her attention back to Linda.

"Just let it go for a second?" She weakly requested.

The odds of it being positive weren't all that great. However, if that thing had a small plus on it, she was going to have to pull herself together. After that conversation she wasn't sure that she was strong enough to see something like that yet.

Louise stood and nodded. She was about to head towards the door and make her way back to her room where she would think about all of this and try to process it. As she got to the doorway though, she turned and hesitated as she fiddled with her hands. There was something that she had to ask, it would hurt her mom, but she wasn't going to be able to sleep unless she knew for sure.

"Hey mom? If that thing is positive, you're not gonna pull the plug on Gene, are you?" Louise inquired.

Linda's mouth fell open, but no words came. She wasn't offended nor did she get angry, even if that question did seem like a slap to the face. It hurt more than anything. It was the choice that she had made before and she wasn't about to try and repeat that choice.

What hurt worse than her words, was the genuine fear that touched her daughter's expression. She wasn't asking to taunt or to bring up a different topic or what not, she was honestly scared that this situation could occur and that she would lose her brother because of it. Part of Louise believed that Linda would give up on him.

"No," she answered, her voice shaky.

Louise offered her a small smile as she wiped the tears away with the back of her sleeve before they could fall. "Good," was all she could say without her voice cracking.

"What's going on?" Bob asked, entering the bathroom.

He had just returned from disposing the bodies, still shaken. He was planning on telling her that she didn't have to worry about Adrian anymore, but the scene before him caught him off guard. All he had really heard was Linda's answer, and that was bothering him. As he studied the scene however, he put the pieces together, Louise looked upset, Linda looked upset. Then, there was a test on the sink, a fairly familiar looking one.

"Oh my God," he gasped, his eyes widening with fear.

Linda's heart broke at his reaction. "Bob, I don't really think I'm pregnant," she assured him.

"I have a spare coathanger if she is, Dad," Louise mentioned, forcing herself to sound casual.

It wasn't like her to repeat jokes, but it was all she could think to say. She didn't want them to fight right now, and with the new information she had, she felt oddly protective of Linda. She didn't want Bob to yell at her, or hurt her. A joke was her only way of trying to keep both of them calm.

Bob looked down to her and shook his head. He didn't even want to remark on what she had just suggested.

"Can we have a moment here, please? I need to talk to your mom in private," he requested.

"You know where I am if you kids need me," Louise stated as she left the room.

He looked back and waited for her to leave before taking a few steps towards Linda. It wasn't something that he had all that much time to prepare or really even think about, but they had to discuss it - Danny. She was hurting and afraid, and at first he was too.

"Lin? I think we should talk," he cautiously stated.

This was it, this was the moment that she had feared. He was getting ready to tell her that he was leaving her. It made sense, all she had done lately was cause trouble. And surely, he could do better.

"I can stay with Gayle if that's what you'd like," she offered.

"What?" Bob asked, trying to figure out where she was even coming from. Then he realized what it sounded like he was saying and he rolled his eyes. "I'm not leaving you."

He took a seat beside her, shaking his head. Seeing that test had really added to the stress that he was already trying to deal with, but it wouldn't change his mind about Linda. If anything, it would make him more concerned for her well being.

"I mean, I'm gonna be upset if you're pregnant and we find out the baby's Adrian's, but I wouldn't leave," he reassured her.

"Thank you," she weakly replied, resting her head on his shoulder.

Just knowing that he was here for the long haul meant everything to her. Even in the worst case scenario he would stay by her side. That was all she really needed right now, to know that she wouldn't have to deal with anything alone.

"I just wanted to discuss what you said earlier, about Danny," he said.

Bob turned and grabbed her shoulders, pushing her away from him. He had to have eye contact to make sure that she was hearing what he had to say. The more he thought about it, the more that he was starting to believe that Gene did have a good chance and he wanted her to see that. He wanted her to be able to have a somewhat positive attitude, because without that she was falling apart at the seams.

"I don't think Gene's going to end up like him. Gene's a lot stronger, you know? He's eaten things he shouldn't have and lived. He's older," Bob started.

It didn't sound like much when stated out loud, but there were times in which Bob was surprised that Gene was okay. He seemed to be the type that could handle anything. He was always going to be their strong little fighter. Linda was still just staring at him, but he hoped that she was absorbing at least some of what he was saying.

"Plus, I kinda think Danny was doomed from the start. Do you remember how many times I had to take you in for complications before he was even born?" He added.

Linda lowered her head with a sigh. Those weren't the best of days. She remembered being in the hospital for most of her pregnancy with him, and being on bedrest for the last couple of months. There were a few times she thought she had lost him. He was unhealthy from the second he was conceived and it took a toll on her body.

It actually surprised her when there were no problems with Tina. When she heard that she was pregnant again, she had prepared herself for the worst. Not even the morning sickness was nearly as bad.

"Neither of us were ready for him," she softly mentioned.

Sometimes she had to wonder if it were her fault. It was a particularly stressful time in their lives. They barely had anything at the time, they were struggling to stay above water. Everything had just been thrown at them and they were handling it the best they could.

"Didn't mean we didn't want him," he reassured her.

A smile actually came to his face as he remembered the day that they found out they would be having a baby together. Linda had invited him to dinner and she was so nervous, yet excited at the same time.

He walked in and saw this nice little dinner she had planned, the table set nicely, complete with candles. His first clue though, looking back, should have been that she had poured wine for him, but water for herself.

About halfway through their meal, she started asking him these questions, if he had ever really wanted children and whether he wanted a boy or a girl. He figured it out and was instantly in shock. It was the best news that he could have received, the love of his life was having his baby, and she was happy about it. The only problem was that the restaurant still wasn't working out as well as he had hoped. A lot of things weren't.

The most important thing was that they stuck together. They were able to get each other through everything. She was there for him when he had finished pulling double shifts and he was there for her when she was scared something was wrong. And they were still that same team.

"Of course not! He's our little angel" Linda replied, looking back up to him and bringing him back to the present.

Danny was her angel. She loved him to death. Everything that she had gone through for him, the suffering, the lack of sleep, the loss, she would go through it all again just to hold him once more.

"Gene's going to be the one we get to keep," Bob told her, having convinced himself.

"You'd better mean everything you just said here tonight," she stated, trying to sound as if she were teasing him.

"I mean it, all of it. No one is leaving you," he promised her, taking her into his arms.

"Thank you," she responded, returning the embrace and resting her head against his chest.

"I should probably mention that you might want me to sleep out on the couch for the next few nights. Not because I don't want to be with you, but because I have a conscience," he explained.

It took Linda a moment before she was able to truly understand what he was say. "Oh," she said, her eyes popping open. She never loosened her brace though. "I don't mind, I'm not going to be sleeping much either. It's fine."

"If you say so," he said.


	6. Fear of Consequence

Chapter 6: Fear of Consequence

Bob and Linda sat silently out in the car together in front of the slightly broken down townhouse. Neither of them seemed to want to discuss the matter at hand - their little girl had been spending the night at a boy's house, and that had no idea how long she had been doing so.

Linda couldn't help but think that this was all her fault. She had recently heard how much she missed while involved in her own little world. Last night was a wake up call - one daughter was gambling and dealing with who she could only imagine were criminals, and the other could be doing God knows what. She was their mother and she had no idea.

"I'm sorry about all of this, Bob," she said with a sigh as she turned and looked to him.

The apology had gotten his attention. The only problem was that she had been saying sorry to him all night. It was starting to lose it's meaning. Not that he didn't think she was sorry anymore, it just didn't matter.

"So am I," he replied, looking back to her. "I started a lot of things with my side job."

Linda returned facing forward and frowned. She had a hard time believing that Bob honestly felt he started all of this. She knew that he was trying to help her feel better, and somehow that made things worse. It made her feel like she had to be coddled and that she couldn't handle reality.

There were no words though. The last thing she wanted was for the arguments from the previous night to be relived. They had forgiven each other and it was time to move on and go about their days.

"Hi sweetie!" Linda greeted as soon as Tina climbed into the back seat.

Tina felt mortified almost instantly upon seeing her parents. She knew the questions that they were going to be asking, the things that they assumed had happened. There was going to be a very uncomfortable conversation.

As bad as that all was however, she would feel worse if none of that were true. The absence of the worry and over protectiveness only meant that they really did stop caring. The only thing that kept her from jumping to that conclusion and expecting it as soon as she saw them was the small amount of panic in Linda's voice over the phone last night.

"Hi, Tina," Bob awkwardly greeted, not knowing what to say at this point. He only looked to her reflection in the rear view mirror.

"Hi," she replied, looking between the two.

"Is everything okay?" Bob questioned as he started the car, trying to sound as casual as possible.

As curious as he was about exactly what had been going on and whether or not he should be too worried, he didn't want to know. He wanted to be able to sit there and remain in denial. Both him and Linda had enough to worry about without having to deal with whatever was happening here.

That didn't mean he wouldn't do what he had to do. He would make sure to watch Tina a little more closely, try to keep her home at night. And Linda would do the same. They would both be more than willing to talk to her about anything, well he would discuss most things with her, some things were better saved for Linda.

"We need to talk when we get home, okay?" Linda stated as gently as possible.

"I know," she responded.

Tina knew what they would be discussing, but she really didn't know what to say. There was nothing that she really did that was wrong. The only thing she really felt guilty about was leaving, but at the same time she didn't think it was all that bad. Of anything, she was kind of upset that it took them this long to figure out that she had been sneaking out.

"I'm sorry," she stated, not sure what else to really say.

Linda turned back and offered her a sympathetic smile. She knew that she should have been upset. Her daughter was going and staying the night at a boy's house, most likely in his bed. Tina was probably making a few adult decisions that she shouldn't have been making, and was probably not very well informed. She had no idea what all was involved here, what kinds of things they were doing together, maybe taking together. It was a far fetched conclusion, but when you find out one of your children is cheating gamblers out of money, you had to wonder what the other was up to.

However, she really did trust Tina, she knew deep down that she wouldn't go and do something so stupid. And a lot of this was her and Bob's fault. She knew that they had been neglecting her quite a bit.

"Today's your chance to tell me anything you need to, okay? You're not going to be in any trouble," Linda assured her.

"God, I hope not," Bob muttered under his breath.

"What!?" Tina panicked.

It wasn't a brand new discovery to her. She knew what they were thinking happened between her and Zeke, and she knew about sex, she just didn't think her parents were really thinking that much about it. Hearing Bob say something about it made her think that maybe she had done or said something that made him think she could have been, or maybe one of them noticed something.

"Bob!" Linda snapped, quickly turning towards Bob.

That was the last thing she wanted to be hearing about right now. There was enough going on, she didn't need any more stress.

"Don't worry, Tina. I'm sure if you even did anything that there's nothing to worry about. Okay? My little teeny Tina?"

"Okay," Tina groaned in response.

oooooo

Louise had stepped out as soon as her parents were gone. Linda would probably know what she was doing after last night's little confessions, but she didn't want to shove it in her face what was happening.

At the same time, she really didn't feel like talking to either of them, answering questions. She had to keep her mind clear to figure out what her plans for the day were going to be. The races had to be rigged somehow. Most likely, she would end up slipping some sort of sleeping pills into one horse's water, maybe find a way to scare another one.

Usually these things were fun for her. Her and Mr. Fischoeder would discuss the plan, have some fun, be creative. Then they would do whatever setup needed to be done and they would go ahead and go through with it. Then afterwards they would laugh at the idiots as they were counting the money and splitting it. It was her little escape for a while, her time to think about something other than Gene and what was happening.

Today though, her heart just wasn't in it. For the first time, she was scared. Last night was this huge wake up call to her - if you make people mad, they might come after you. And money wasn't a joke.

"So what do you got for today?" Louise asked, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Sitting on the kitchen counter, she watched him try to gather things from the cabinet. Her eyes were glossy and void of any real life. Her hair was down today, no pigtails, no hat. It seemed pointless to try and fix it. It was slightly messy, but nothing too bad.

"Oh, I don't know," he answered before turning back to Louise. "What do you think a heavy painkiller would do to a horse? Do you think it would cause it to fall and hurt the others?"

"Probably," she flatly replied. "We could slip a few five hour energies in the water."'

"This is the last race for a while. I feel like we should go out with a bang," he explained, trying to get her excited.

"Yeah," Louise sighed.

There was a question that she had been dying to ask, but couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Something felt wrong about inquiring about her safety, as if she would jinx herself.

"Just grab whatever. I'll think of something on the way," she told him as she hopped off the counter.

Calvin just stood there and watched as she walked passed him. He had noticed the sudden change in her behavior, but he didn't dare ask. It was obvious what was going on, Gene's situation. He had figured that he had probably taken a turn for the worst last night. As concerned as Calvin was, he couldn't bring himself to have a real conversation about it, it would get, messy. It would only end up with Louise more upset and him knowing more than he should.

oooooo

Tina sat on the couch, staring off into the distance. There had been a lot that had actually happened to her within the past few weeks. Once things spiralled out of control here, the rest of her life seemed to follow. It was almost too much for her to handle when she stopped and thought about it.

Now she had to tell her parents about it - all of it. It felt good though, knowing that she would get all of this off her chest. For the longest time she didn't even think they cared enough to ask. Now at least they would know and they might offer her some attention. And she might get some help that she had been needing for a while now.

"Ya ready to talk?" Linda firmly asked as she entered the room.

She was still trying to decide how hard she had to be on her daughter here. Of course it was rough lately, and everything had been going to hell. And in all honesty, the more Linda thought about it, the more she blamed herself for Tina's running away.

Tina looked up to her, anxious as she nodded. She was more than ready, she was dying to tell her everything. Her eyes were glued to Linda as she took a seat beside her.

"I won a contest and Jimmy Jr. didn't think much of it, but Zeke did so I started hanging out with him. Then I told him what was happening with Gene and that I wanted to get away for a while and he said I could stay at his place and no one would notice. And I started my period and then I got scared because it was late and when it finally came it was just really heavy and lasted like three days and hurt really bad and that scared me too but Tammy told me that it was just cramps and I don't know whether or not I can believe her. It's not like she's a doctor or anything. And I actually slept with Zeke and I'm so sorry!" Tina blurted out as fast as she could before she dropped her face into her hands and began to cry.

Linda was stunned for a moment, preventing her from reacting as she watched Tina cry. It was all just so much to take in at once, she was sure that she heard her say she slept with Zeke, and that she started her period. That right there was a lot to happen within a short amount of time.

"It's okay, you're alright now," Linda cooed as she tightly wrapped her arms around the young teen.

The real heart breaking thing was that Tina had stated that while she was scared, she went to Tammy. She was alone in her fear and resorted to talking to the girl that would bully her. Her own little girl didn't feel like she could come to her with something like that.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made it seem like you couldn't talk to me," Linda stated, her grip tightening.

"It's okay," Tina muttered, her voice muffled.

"No it's not, sweetie," Linda replied, pushing her back. "I messed up. Now we're going to have you take a test just to make both of us feel better. Then I'm going to get us some ice cream and we're gonna have a small talk. Okay?"

"Okay," Tina sniffled, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

Linda stood up and forced a smile as she extended her hand. "Now come on, I want you to get this over with so we can all feel a little better. Okay?"

"Where do you go to get one?" Tina questioned as she got to her feet.

"I have some sweetie, don't worry about it," Linda explained, hoping that she wouldn't start asking why she had them.

Tina didn't say anything. It actually scared her that Linda wanted her to go through with this, but she understood why. She just didn't like having to sit there and wait for a result. Part of her felt as though it could be positive. There were no real signs, but she wasn't even sure what she would have been looking for. All she really knew was that she would be getting sick.

Come to think of it, she felt like throwing up now. She was growing dizzy as her body began to heat up. And her boobs hurt. Was that a sign? She felt like it was a sign. That had to be a sign.

"Oh my God! I'm gonna be sick! That's one of the symptoms isn't it?" She frantically questioned.

"You're just getting yourself worked up," Linda assured her.

They entered the bathroom, Tina stepping off to the side as Linda dug through the contents under the sink until she finally found the extra test that she had stored.

"Here," she said, setting up on the counter. "You pee on it and then sit and wait. Once you see a sign appear, it's done."

Tina just anxiously groaned as she stared at the box, causing Linda to sigh.

"Just do what you have to do and I'll come back in and wait with you, okay? Or we can go wait out in the living room, where ever you want," she offered.

Tina stood there, her eyes glued to the test. "I think I wanna just wait in here," she answered, figuring that way she could just watch and see it the second that the thing was finished.

"Okay, sweetie," she stated as comfortingly as she could manage. "I'll be right outside the door, alright? Just let me know when you want me to come back in."

"Okay," Tina said, remaining stoic.

Linda took one last look at her daughter, forcing a smile before she left the room.

Once she was able to close the door behind her and assure herself that no one would see her, Linda met out a small sob that she had been holding back all morning. Slowly, she climbed down a few of the steps and took a seat, her head resting against the railing as she closed her eyes for a moment. It was the only break that she would have to herself today, and she needed it now more than ever.

oooooo

Bob sat down in the basement, down on the steps as he looked through the pile of bills he had been hiding there. The last thing he wanted was for Linda to have to see all of this, the money being spent to simply keep Gene in the hospital, let alone the IVs and the life support and all of that.

It wasn't that they didn't have the money, they just couldn't spend it. He wasn't sure how to find other ways to launder it without looking suspicious. Not being able to spend the money that they had earned in order to save his son somehow that seemed ever worse than not doing anything to earn extra money.

Staring down to the papers, the numbers began meshing together. He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. This would be the first time that he would actually sleep since he had killed the men. It appeared as though there were something within him that didn't believe he deserved the relief of unconsciousness.

_Bob stood out in what looked like some sort of abandoned railway. There was dust everywhere, old buildings surrounding him. Everything was in black and white. There was an odd whistling off in the distance. It was eerie, as though there were a factory operating without anyone._

_He didn't give much thought to it as he began to walk, absently following the track. It brought him to an old, torn house that seemed to be set in the middle of a junk yard. The entire plot was covered with scattered bits of old machinery._

_Once he finally reached the door he was able to let himself into the bleak home. It was only a small room with a dining room table and four chairs set around it. At the opposite end of the room was a single door that was closed._

_"Mr. Belcher!" Zeke called, almost too cheerfully._

_The boy was seated at the table, beside Tina, who was sitting across from Linda. Zeke was the only one who appeared to be happy. Linda looked completely void of any emotion while Tina was anxious._

_"Hi," he awkwardly replied as he went to sit beside his wife._

_Bob looked over to Linda, hoping that maybe he could get some response from her, but instead he was greeted with a cold shoulder._

_"The gals got their food already, ours'll be up in a moment," Zeke explained._

_Bob's eyes wandered down to Linda's plate, watching as she cut the steak, all the blood rushing out of the barely cooked meat. It wasn't as repulsive as it should have been. Although, across the table he heard Tina begin to gasp, she was getting ready to panic, nervously groaning._

_"Tina?" He asked._

_She kept cutting and cutting, but there was no blood. As a matter of fact, her steak looked burnt. Finally she threw down her fork and knife and got up and rushed out of the room._

_Bob got up to follow her, but as he made his way through the door, he noticed that he wasn't in the kitchen, he was in this pool room. It was grimy, random people sitting around. They all looked as though they belonged in jail, or to the mafia. Either way, he didn't feel all that comfortable here._

_"Alright! Seven in the corner pocket!"_

_Bob looked up, shocked to hear Louise's voice. All the sudden, he saw her walk around the table carrying her cue stick. Although her voice was full of confidence, she looked terrified. She even closed her eyes a second before taking her turn._

_The room fell silent as she aimed and hit the ball. Bob cringed as soon as he saw that she missed. She looked as though she were about to actually cry._

_"Wait!" He called out, trying to stall whatever was going to happen. No one seemed to even acknowledge his presence though, which was irritating._

_Two men got up from their seats and grabbed Louise, each of them taking an arm. She struggled, but it didn't do her any good._

_"Do you have the eighteen hundred?" One of them barked at her._

_"I'll get it as soon as you let me go!" She argued._

_"You know what the deal is," the other man stated, his free hand moving to his pocket._

_"I can get you the money!" Bob yelled, rushing to his daughter's side. "I can get it for you! Just give me a few hours!"_

_He went numb as he watched the two men look at each other, trying to decide whether or not to trust him. It was weird, watching as they seemed to telepathically communicate._

_"Three hours," they both told him._

_Bob gulped, nodding before he turned and rushed out of the room. As soon as he exited, he was out on the sidewalk. No more black and white, just what looked like a normal, dingy, city street. He wasn't all too sure of where he was, New York perhaps._

_He started down the sidewalk, trying to think of what he could possibly do to earn such a large amount of money in such little time. Robbing a bank was one suggestion, but he needed something a little more stable, something where he knew that he could get away with the money._

_As he was walking, he spotted an empty cab. He remembered driving one for Tina's birthday when he needed extra money, and he did make a decent amount doing so. This time he could keep all the money. Maybe he would even get lucky and someone would be drunk enough or high enough to leave their wallet and forget it. It wouldn't earn him all the money, but it could be something to do to get a head start while he figured something out._

_He climbed in and started driving. It wasn't long until he had a few people, each person leaving tips and what not. In twenty minutes he had a good fifty dollars. It was something. And he had a hundred that he could chip in himself. And he was pretty sure that with all the loose change, there was an extra twenty dollars._

_Within the next twenty minutes he made a good few hundred more. That was when he started picking up the people looking for hookers, drug dealers, and somehow he knew where to take them. They weren't long drives, which told him something about where he was currently at._

_He dropped off a couple of businessmen at a whorehouse, receiving bribes from them along with the amount they owed. He sat there, counting the cash as he waited for his next customer. His eyes widened as soon as he heard the woman behind him._

_"Quick! Drive!" Linda begged, leaning forward and hanging onto the back of his seat._

_Looking in the rearview mirror, he could see that she had been punched in the face, nothing too bad, a busted lip. She was wearing a pink button down shirt, the bottom tied just below her breasts. From what he could see, she was wearing jean shorts that barely made it from underwear to shorts. The sight disturbed him. What was even more bothersome was the fact that he didn't react, he just sat there staring._

_"Come on! What the hell do ya think you're doing?" Adrian yelled as he opened the door and yanked her back out onto the sidewalk._

_As soon as Adrian got her out of there, he stopped and looked to Bob through the open window. "You didn't see anything," he said, tossing a small wad of money onto the passenger seat._

_Bob turned and looked to him. "Maybe I I'll bring you a few more customers," he nervously offered._

_Adrian nodded, tossing a couple hundred down onto the seat. Bob returned the nod, thickly swallowing as he forced himself to keep his eyes off his battered wife._

_As he started to drive, he could hear Linda yelling. One glance into the rearview mirror revealed Adrian punching Linda and yelling at her. He only watched for a second, but the image of her looking as though she were begging for her life, sobbing and scared, would be engraved in his mind forever._

_As much as it hurt though, he couldn't turn back and save her. He had to get the money back for Louise and somehow find Tina. He could come for Linda after that. He just had to prioritize._

_The car suddenly began to slow. "Oh no! No, no, no!" He yelled as he saw that the gas tank was empty._

_His hands tightly gripped the wheel as he desperately searched for something, anything to help the situation. There was nothing. All he could do was grab the money and start on foot. It seemed bleak, but anything was better than sitting in that car and panicking._

_As he walked down the road, he noticed that he had stumbled upon some old, abandoned cemetery. The path he was following had become a dirt road, one that he was sure was taking him in the wrong direction. It hadn't occurred to him to try a different route. There was something about this place that simultaneously felt like home and hell and it was oddly intriguing._

_"Hey!"_

_The voice sent a chill down his spine as he jumped into a pile of shrubs to hide. He had no idea who it was, but there was no doubt that it was threatening._

_"Quick! In here!"_

_The voice was that of a rushed, scared one. Bob felt though that he could trust it, not that he had much of a choice. He followed it to an old, broken down bus that had been left to decay. It was well hidden among the trees and weeds._

_The floor beneath him creaked as he stepped onto the old vehicle. There was an eerie feeling that overtook him. The silence was suffocating as he slowly walked down the aisle. Each passenger coldly watched him. Most of the were strangers, ones that looked vaguely familiar in an odd way. Once he got towards the back though, he saw Louise, Linda, and Tina._

_The way they watched him, there was a desperation present and it deeply disturbed him. After waking, this would be one of the strongest details that he would remember._

_"I need that money," the lady in the very last seat told him._

_Her voice instantly caught Bob's attention. She didn't sound as though she were demanding, and there was nothing about her that came across as threatening, she was just a young girl with a chicken on her lap. If anything, he felt bad for her, even wished that he could spare some money, but he wasn't even sure that he had everything he needed._

_"I can't. I'm sorry," he whispered._

_"Mister, please!" She begged, raising her voice._

_Bob's eyes widened as the chicken began to fuss. She was clearly agitating the thing and it was going to be the reason that they all got killed._

_"Shut that thing up!" He snapped, trying his hardest to keep his voice down. ._

_"Give me the money and I'll see what I can do," she argued, the chicken growing louder._

_"I can't!"_

_This was his chance to run. If he could get off of here and dart into the woods, there was still a chance that he might make it back to Louise in time. He could possibly be able to save Linda and go get Tina._

_"Look! You're not getting the money!" He yelled._

_That was something that he instantly regretted, calling all of that attention to himself. Those people would be here in a matter of seconds. He probably just ruined his chances. Either way, he had to chance it. He turned and darted towards the door, only to stop dead in his tracks. The clucking had ceased, only to be replaced with a brief, soft whimper, and then silence._

_A chill traveled down his spine. There was something all too familiar with the scene. He wanted to turn around and look, but he couldn't bring himself to do so right away. It was like he had to prepare himself._

_"You shoulda known, Bobby."_

_It was his mother's voice, yet she was nowhere to be found. What should have been a comforting sound only served to disturb him even more. It did however, pique his interest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before slowly looking over his shoulder._

_"No," he whimpered._

_The lady sat there, sternly staring at him as Danny lay dead in her hands._

_"You had your chance, and you blew it," she told him._

_"No!" Bob screamed, his hands moving to grip onto his hair._

_As he screamed, the money fell to the floor, scattering by his feet. In that moment, nothing felt important. Everything was meaningless to him._ **He had killed his own son** _._

_"Dad!" Gene screamed._

_Bob instantly wheeled around, panicked by the urgency in his son's voice. His eyes still wide with horror and unshed tears._

_"Oh my God!"_

_Gene was standing there, pale and fragile, the way that he had looked when they took him to the hospital. There was a man behind him, covered completely by a large, black cloak. He didn't have to ask who it was, he knew the man all too well._

_"What do you want? You want the money? Take it!" Bob hysterically begged, beginning to kick the wads of cash at the monster. He could feel his heart beginning to pound as he offered the only thing he had at the moment. He would have offered himself right on the spot, but he had others he needed to help. "Just take it!"_

_"Daddy?"_

_The small, worried voice got him to stop and turn his attention elsewhere. He would have known it anywhere - Louise. He spotted her in one of the seats beside him, the man from the pool room sitting beside with a gun pointed to her head. One row behind her was a battered Linda, Adrian sitting next her with a switchblade out and ready. Then a few rows back was Tina, sitting beside Zeke with a baby in her arms._

_His eyes anxiously darted between the four. It was getting harder to breath as he tried to think of something to do here. They all needed that money, they all needed his help._

_"I don't know. I don't know! I don't know!" He began screaming as he fell to his knees._

_In the midst of his screams, he could see the man taking Gene away, the trigger getting ready to be pulled, the knife moving to his wife's throat. And all he could do was scream, he couldn't even stand, or say anything coherent. His eyes stung with tears, his heart about to tear through his chest._

_"I'm sorry!" He wailed._

"Bobby!"

The voice brought him back to consciousness, his eyes darting about as he continued to scream. He wasn't completely sure of where he was or what was happening. Tears streamed down his cheeks, meshing with the cold sweat that soaked him.

"Bobby! I'm here! You're okay!" Linda called, kneeling over him as she firmly held onto his shoulders.

She was scared to death that there was something terribly wrong. She had been sitting upstairs and all the sudden she had heard this bloodcurdling scream that made her go numb. She barely even remembered darting down the stairs yelling out for him.

Bob sat up, out of breath. He was shaking as he looked around the room, seeing that he was down in the basement, on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. His memory was slowly allowing him to recall the events to lead up to this moment. He had been on the steps looking through the bills. That was the very last thing he he remembered before the dream.

As soon as he saw his wife, his heart shattered. She was scared, just like she was in the nightmare. There was no hesitation as he tightly threw his arms around her, clinging onto her.

"I'm sorry! I should've told you!" He cried.

Linda, for once, was at a loss for words. She returned the embrace, his body still trembling with fear. It worried her. Her Bobby was breaking, and she was witnessing it. She didn't even know what to make of his apology. It just sounded like nonsense to her.

There was nothing she could do for him. A huge portion of his stress was brought upon by her. She was part of why he was having this melt down. Really, they all needed a few days off, to forget - however, there was no forgetting any of this. There was no taking a break from your dying son.

"It's okay," she said, trying to offer some comfort. "I've got you, okay? It's okay," she reassured him, stroking his hair.

"No it's not, Lin! I knew what could happen and I didn't warn you!" He argued, pulling back away from her. He struggled to get to his feet, holding onto the wall behind him for support.

Linda stood, her eyes glued to him with concern as he stumbled. "You're upset, alright? Ya just need to go and rest for a bit," she told him, carefully approaching him. The last thing she needed was to further upset him or even startle him.

He lowered his head in defeat, knowing that there was no way for him to fully explain it right now. She wouldn't understand while he was upset like this. And if she did, he wasn't ready to deal with her reaction. It wasn't as if there were anything that could be done, but a warning would have been nice.

All he could think about was that night she told him about Danny, how happy they both were to have a baby on the way. It didn't matter what they didn't have and it didn't matter that the timing wasn't ideal. They loved each other and they had each other. That was all that mattered.

Now here they were. They still loved each other and they were still there for each other. That was never going to change. However, they had one dead son and other in the hospital on the same track that Danny was on so many years ago.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs. I'll close up early tonight," she offered, wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

It took a moment for her actions to register, but he started up the stairs with her assistance. His mind was still swimming with the flashbacks of their early years together, long nights spent in the hospital, the double shifts, the bed rest and arguments. Holding back her hair for her so that she didn't throw up all over her yellow dress and realizing how the next few months were going to go and wondering if he should have told her more about his childhood.

"I love you," he weakly muttered, reaching the kitchen.

"I love you too," she replied, only stopping to plant a small kiss on his cheek.

"Hey, Louise doesn't know how to gamble, right?" He asked.

That was the one thing that didn't truly make any sense to him. He had noticed that Louise would sneak out at odd hours here and there, and he had seen her with Calvin a few times, one of them carrying a bag. That didn't necessarily have to mean anything though.

Linda paused at the question. Technically, Louise was helping someone cheat. That didn't mean that she actually knew how to play. "I don't know. Why?" She questioned, trying to remain somewhat casual about the whole thing.

"Nothing," he flatly responded.

"Okay, let's just focus on getting you upstairs," she stated, trying to help him navigate through the restaurant.

"Okay," he replied, distracted.


	7. Denial

Chapter 7: Denial

It was weird, all these years thinking that maybe he had some semblance of control over things. That feeling of owning something, thinking he could change things, that was all some stupid illusion he was stupid enough to have believed. He couldn’t change anything. The only thing that he was in charge of was himself, and even that seemed questionable at times. 

Laying in bed, he just stared towards the ceiling. His thoughts wandered back to when he and Linda were younger, back before Danny was born. There was a day where Linda had a scare, she thought that she had miscarried and he took her to the hospital. In retrospect, it wasn’t this dark, gloomy day. It was probably one of the most hopeful days of their lives. 

He had been sitting there beside the bed, holding her hand as they waited for the doctor to come talk to them. He couldn’t even remember what exactly had happened to cause Linda to think she had lost Danny, but he vividly recalled hearing that everything would be fine. He could still hear Linda’s cry of happiness. They had thought they lost their little boy, but they didn’t. He was a little fighter. It made them feel invincible. If they could get through that, they could get through anything. 

Now here he was, defeated as his entire family fell apart. He couldn’t hold them together. And there was no way that he would be able to help Linda pick up the pieces again, not this time. He would try, and he would be there for her, but she had had her heart shattered enough for a few life times already. Losing another child would break her. She was already becoming unglued. 

“Bobby?” 

“Yeah?” He responded, unmoving, despite the fact that the sudden noise had rattled him. 

Linda slowly walked into the room, eyeing her husband with concern. The break down earlier, it gave her a small insight as to just how much he was suffering. She knew that he had been hiding some of his feelings from her, and she knew that he had to be hurting just as bad as her, but she never expected to see what she had witnessed. She never expected him to bottle up that much. It broke her to know that he felt he had to deal with all of that alone, that he really didn’t feel like he could come to her with any of this. 

“How are you feeling?” She carefully asked, stopping at the side of the bed. 

“I’m fine, okay?” His response harsh and unconvincing. 

“I don’t think you are,” she argued.

Bob sighed, knowing that she would never understand. That dream of his prompted something within him, it was a warning. That entire night as a warning. He had to be more careful and protect everyone now while he still had a chance. This was his opportunity to save them, and maybe teach them to defend themselves. 

“I might as well get this over with,” he sighed. 

In seconds, she had gone from worried to desperately scared as she watched the man she loved sit up and start towards the dresser. There was a look in his eyes, one of determination. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, her eyes glued to him. She was ready to jump at any second. 

“Close the door,” he flatly instructed, prompting Linda to immediately obey. He knew that he was making her nervous, and that wasn’t really his intent. All he wanted was for her to not freak out any sooner than needed. 

Linda watched as he had his back turned to her, rummaging through the dresser drawer. For a few minutes she thought he was going to pull out some money stashed off to the side or something. Perhaps an item that had meant a lot to him at one point or another. Or maybe he had kept something from Danny that she was unaware of. 

She apprehensively headed back over to the bed and took a seat. There was a fear that coursed through her veins as she tried her hardest to get a small peak of what he was doing. 

“I want you to have this,” he stated right before turning and facing her. 

His gun. 

He wanted her to have his gun. Wide eyes watched as he carried the weapon to her, carefully holding it out as if it were some sort of grand present, and in a way it was one of the grandest gifts he could bestow upon her. This was his only line of defense, and he was handing it over to her. She knew that, and it quite honestly scared her. Sure, there was a chance that someone could come to the apartment while he was gone and try to hurt them again, but it was much more likely that someone would go after Bob while he was out working. 

“I don’t think --” Linda started. 

Bob watched her as she refused to move, to accept the gun. He understood why. This was an item that could be used to kill someone. Having to keep this near by was a bad sign, it meant that you were in danger, things weren’t that great around you. Even worse, she could have to use it, and she then would have to experience the odd mixture of emotions summoned by murder. 

“Just in case you have more intruders,” he explained, physically setting it down on her lap. “I’ll get another one for myself.”

“Bob, I don’t like this,” she protested, not even allowing herself to look down at the thing. 

“I know, but I can’t leave you here without a weapon anymore,” he patiently stated. 

All he wanted was some form of security, something to make him worry a little less while he was out there. The thought of coming home to a crime scene was enough to put him over the edge. Right now he was willing to do whatever it took to prevent his nightmare from becoming reality. Even if he had to give up his only protection for one night, then so be it. 

“We have kids, Linda. I need to know that you’ll have some way of protecting them,” he said. 

Linda gulped, knowing that he was right. If she couldn’t keep Tina and Louise out of harm’s way, then she wasn’t so sure that she could even live with herself. There would be no point. 

Subconsciously, she grabbed at the handle and held onto the gun. It were as though she were verifying that she knew what she had to do. 

“Just be careful, please,” she begged. 

Bob leaned down, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I will,” he promised her. 

She watched as he left the room, not knowing how to feel. There was something oddly comforting in the fact that he was still willing to risk his life for his family, but she couldn’t lose him. He was the one thing that had truly kept her together this entire time. He would hold her when she felt alone, remind her of the good times when everything seemed so bleak, and take over when she could barely bring herself to get out of bed in the morning. He was the reason she had made it this far, and she wasn’t so sure what she would do if anything happened to him. 

Oooooo

The night road was a weird place, one that encouraged thoughts to wander to the places most people pretended didn’t even exist. Bob wished he had that luxury, the allowance to simply forget and be able to ignore prior events. To him, that was an impossibility. He would always be surrounded with the reminders and the consequences of his actions. Everyday he would have to look up at his wife and remember what she did, and how he couldn’t protect her and his daughter. 

His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he thought back to when Linda was pregnant with Tina. She was about seven months along, beginning to heal from Danny’s funeral. 

The two sat on the couch together, his arm protectively around her shoulders as they both absently watched the news. Neither of them really cared about what was playing on the TV, it was just nice to be able to zone out for a while and not think about anything. It was their time to just be with each other. However, that night was different -- Linda was different. 

The news went off and Bob removed his arm, ready to stand up and start getting ready for bed. That was the routine. He didn’t even have to think about it. As he went to actually stand, Linda grabbed his hand, her eyes full of fear as they began to water. 

“Bobby…?” She started, her voice cracking. 

He already knew what she was going to say, they shared the same fears. He too wondered whether or not the same thing would happen, and there were moments where he would panic, not knowing what he would do if he had lost another child. The only thing that kept him sane, that gave him some assurance that things would be okay, was the fact that things were already a lot smoother than they had been the first time around. 

Sitting back into the couch, he gave her a look of sympathy. All he wanted was to be able to really start over with this child. Not completely forget Danny, but to forget the pain. It wasn’t fair that this baby had to come with this sort of luggage. They should be happy to meet her, not distancing themselves because they fear she might leave them. 

“We’d know by now if she were as sick as he was,” he calmly told her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into towards him. 

Linda had taken his word for it, or least she told him that she believed him, but that concern lingered up until the day she was born. 

Those doubts didn’t come with the children after her. The wounds hadn’t been as fresh and it was beginning to seem more like a one time thing. And everything did go fine up until Louise and her sister came along. That one wasn’t as bad, they lost her pretty early, and they still brought home a baby, their little fighter. Bob always hated though that Jimmy got to keep both of his twins and he didn’t. Not that Jimmy knew that, of course, no one knew, and no one else ever would. 

Then, all of that disappeared once Louise fell ill. She never got as bad as Gene or Danny, but she was hospitalized. He knew how bad off she was the night that she fell sick, a high fever and crying as she shivered, she had been complaining about a belly ache all day and ended up in tears over the discomfort. Linda said that it was probably the flu, and she refused to change her mind as she sat there all day with the little girl rubbing her tummy and force feeding her medicine. No matter what though, the toddler wasn’t getting better. 

He heard Louise sobbing in the bedroom. Tina had left her bed and moved across the room where she crawled into bed with her little sister, hugging her to try and offer some comfort. That was when he rushed over, scooped her into his arms and rushed her to the hospital, Linda waiting for Mort to come over before she made her way over and joined him. She felt guilty all night and he had to tell her over and over again that she wasn’t to blame. 

Looking back at that night offered him some comfort. Their little girl battled whatever it is that plagued the others, and she lived. She fought that thing harder than he had ever seen anyone fight. That was what he had always admired about her, her strength. She had her mother’s strength, her zest for life and stubbornness. 

“Everything okay?” 

The voice pulled him out of his gaze, as he loosened his grip on the wheel. He was actually surprised that he had managed to not get them into an accident. He found it amazing, the sort of tasks he could manage while day dreaming. 

“Yeah,” he absently answered, not wanting to get further into the subject. All the men knew what was going on with Gene, that was the very reason they had let him join them. 

It was the moment that he told Mickey was what wrong that he vowed to help him. What he was doing would have been enough, at least he thought that at the time, but this was helping more than anything. He was making enough money to finally help his son. And it felt as though it was meant to be. Mickey just so happened to take a few classes, and just so happened to sign up for his. That couldn’t have been just a coincidence. 

Two months earlier

Bob stood at the front of the classroom. It wasn’t much, just a simple little room in the community college. There was an oven and such, all equipped for a cooking class, but nonetheless very small. It was reminiscent of the home ect class that he had substituted for when Tina was still in middle school. Either way, something about it felt nice, fulfilling almost. 

“And that’s how you make a simple lasagna and caesar salad,” he finished off with. 

It was more than he had bargained for really, being so used to making burgers and now having to make basic dishes that he rarely ever made. The adjustment was a little more difficult than he had wanted it to be. These were people that had no idea what they were doing and he was using terms that went over their heads without even thinking about it. 

“Just remember that if you romaine calm, everything will be fine,” he announced to the people filing out of the room, chuckling at his joke while everyone else seemed to ignore him. 

Their shrugging him off was met with a sigh as he began to pack up his things to leave. A lot of this felt very forced in a way. There were a few people who really wanted to be there and those were the ones that he loved working with. He loved seeing them excited as they created something and he loved being able to pass on his knowledge to them. On the other hand, there were a lot of people there to simply learn a few pointers and get out of there, or they were taking this class because there was nothing else to take and they had one more slot to fill so that they didn’t have to start paying back loans yet. 

“Good one, Bob.” 

Bob looked up to see Mickey standing there, a stupid grin stretched across his face. It had been a while since he had even thought of the man. 

“What are you doing here?” He questioned, trying to not offend him with his tone. 

It wasn’t that he thought the man shouldn’t be there, it just seemed random. It would have been like him deciding to suddenly take a ballet class or Linda deciding to take a physics class. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do those things, well Bob wasn’t so sure he could dance, but the fact was no one would associate them with those things and neither of them would want to put their energy into those topics. 

Mickey laughed, seeming to not even pick on the fact that that could be taken offensively. “Just trying to better myself and I saw your name on the sheet so I decided to sign up for it.” 

The two stood there, an awkward silence falling between them. Bob was more concerned with getting out of there and making it home to check up on things. He had a family to hold together and a son to take care of. And he really did not want to start actually talking long enough for the subject of his family to arise. The last thing he needed right now was for others to start finding out that Gene was sick. It was hard enough dealing with it without all the pitiful looks and the constant questioning. 

“Well I'm glad you enjoyed the class,” he started as he tried and finished packing his things. “I really have to get going--”

He was cut off by an overeager Mickey who took a few steps closer towards the desk. “Say, you wanna go grab a drink or something?” 

Why did he think that Mickey would take the hint? “I can't,” he quickly answered. “I'm sorry.” 

There was something in his response that took him aback, and Bob regretted his reaction as soon as he noticed the expression sprawled across his features. “I'm just busy.” 

“Are you sure about that?”

Bob sighed once more, wearily looking to him. “Actually, there’s something that I think you could help me with.” 

Present day

“Gene doing any better?” Chuck questioned. 

Bob huffed as he kept staring forward into the night. The last thing he wanted was to have to talk about it. His mind already centered around everything going on at home, that didn't mean he wanted the extra reminders. 

“I don't know.” 

Chuck didn’t even flinch. It was a sore spot, he knew that very well. He just felt that there was something Bob had to get out into the open before he could properly concentrate. Their lives depended on him being able to do his job, and seeing him wound so tight was worrisome. People like that get jumpy, they get trigger happy. Or they become ignorant to their surroundings. Either way, it made him more of a liability than a necessity. 

“I need you to be honest, Bob. Tell me how things are going so that ya could actually do your job tonight,” he firmly instructed. 

“I can do my job fine,” Bob argued. 

“How are you handling the situation?” He questioned, completely ignoring Bob. 

Bob knew that he was right, eventually he would have to talk to someone about this. It just didn’t feel right. 

“Linda’s trying to go into denial,” he began, his expression softening. “She puts on this weird little act every time we go to see him.” 

Chuck nodded, allowing him the second to collect himself. “So, Linda’s denying it.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright, how about you?” Chuck inquired. “What do you do every time you go?” 

Bob remained stoic, his eyes on the road as he tried to think of something to say to end the conversation. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted, feeling that he wasn’t about to be a convincing liar anyways. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” He wasn’t really surprised, Bob had been avoiding the topic from the first day they met. It made sense that he hadn’t put that sort of thought into it. Just hearing the confession though was weird to him. He had been prepared to push harder than that. 

Bob sighed, his expression softening. “I just always watch Linda,” he admitted. “It’s easier to focus on her.” 

And it was easier to watch her, think about how she was feeling, and take care of her. Linda was someone that could heal, that he could possibly help in some way. No matter how broken she could get over all of this, she was still guaranteed more of a chance than Gene. 

That and it gave him an excuse to bottle up everything. He couldn’t break down because he had to be strong for Linda and the kids, he couldn’t just lie in bed because he had to work so that Linda wouldn’t have to, she has so much on her mind right now anyways, she doesn’t need that. He did the same thing with Danny, let everything build up within him until he absolutely could not handle it anymore and then he had his breakdown and slowly moved on. 

“You’re not gonna tell me how bad that is for me?” Bob asked, noticing that Chuck had yet to make a remark. 

“You’re going to handle it however you want, regardless of what I say. All I needed was for you to get that out there so you can concentrate,” he dryly explained. 

“I’m not sure I’d call it handling things, but it’s gotten me this far,” Bob said. Since Mickey was going to be clinging to him now anyways, and he could use all the extra money that he could get, he figured that he might as well take a chance.

Oooooo

Bob and Linda quietly entered the room, as they always did. This wasn’t their first time, it was routine by now. It shouldn’t have felt any different, but it did. The air was somehow heavier, things felt more final. It was possible that they were simply dwelling more on Danny, making this more about him at the moment.

“Hi Gene. How’re ya doing, sweetie?” Linda asked in her usual, upbeat demeanor. 

Bob watched her as she folded her hands and rushed over to his side. Talking to Gene seemed pointless to him, he didn’t think there was anyway for their son to hear them. And even if he could, what good would it do? It was probably all one big blur to him. His beliefs however weren’t voiced, he didn’t have the heart to tell his wife that he didn’t think her little act was bringing him closer to consciousness. And maybe it wasn’t helping Gene, but it was helping her. Bob saw the way that she lit up when she thought her baby could hear her telling him stories and such. It gave her a form of hope that nothing else could. 

That was sad reality behind it all -- the fact that they had nothing else at this point. It broke his heart to see Linda desperately clinging to her last shred of hope as she choked back her tears on the elevator ride up here. The only reason she wasn’t crying now was because she thought it would upset Gene. 

“He doesn’t look all that bad,” Bob mentioned, taking a few steps closer. 

It wasn’t a complete lie. His color wasn’t bad, and he hadn’t lost anymore weight. If anything, he looked like maybe he had a cold or a mild flu rather than some devastating disease. 

“Oh my God, Bob. Look,” she mentioned as she took a seat on the edge of the bed. She reached over and grabbed the item that had been tucked under Gene’s hand. “It’s her ears.”

She held the hat up for Bob to see, surprised. No one had ever gotten that little girl to go without her hat, and here she was leaving it for her brother. A small laugh escaped her lips as she thought about how hard it must have been for her to part with her ears. 

“I guess she thought he needed them more,” Bob mentioned, a small smile touching his mouth. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Belcher?” The doctor called as he stepped into the room. “I need to talk to you,” he plainly stated. 

The voice cut through the room, causing a chill to go through both of them. It had been a while since they had heard those exact words with that same tone, and both remembered it quite clearly. 

Bob turned and looked back to the man, stunned for a second before glancing back to Linda. She had her head down, staring to the pink hat that rested on her lap now. They both knew what was coming, but he wasn’t about to take this visit away from her, he couldn’t allow her to miss out on one last optimistic chat with Gene. She didn’t need to sit there and hear those words again and feel that gut wrenching sensation of a huge part of you being ripped away. 

He couldn’t change the situation, but he could take this alone while she lived in her little bubble for a few more moments. He could let her be hopeful for just a little longer. 

“I’ll, uh, I’ll handle this. You can stay here with Gene,” Bob instructed, trying his best to sound casual about it. 

Linda thickly swallowed as she looked up to him. She knew exactly what was about to be discussed. She could already feel the air being knocked out of her lungs, her heart being torn to shreds. Bob had to have been feeling the same way, and she didn’t want him having to hear the news alone, having to sit there and process it without someone right beside him. 

“I wanna come with you,” she argued. 

“Please, it’s probably just about the bills. I’ll be right back,” he insisted. 

She caught onto what he was doing and nodded. This was probably going to be her last chance to be here without having to consider that they might have to pull the plug. If he was willing to give her some extra time with him, she was going to take it. 

“Alright fine, but if you take more than ten minutes. I’m coming to find you,” she replied, forcing herself to sound as though she were teasing him.

Her efforts were acknowledged with a nod and a flat smile from Bob before he followed the doctor out the door. 

“I just hope you’re right,” she muttered as soon as the door was closed. 

Looking back to Gene, she sighed. It was just them now, and she still had to keep up the act. She still had to go on as though everything were fine, because the second that Gene heard something negative she was sure he would be upset, and worse, he might give up on trying. 

Pushing those thoughts aside, she tightly smiled as she leaned in and set the hat on his head. It took a moment to adjust due to the fact that he was laying down, but she still managed to get it to fit perfectly onto his head. The sight caused her to genuinely laugh. It was odd seeing someone else get the chance to wear it. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t so sure that anyone would believe this. 

Almost on instinct, she reached into her purse and got her phone. She paused upon looking back up at Gene. Reality hit her, pulling the floor out from under her. This was nothing more than some charade, yet she had to go through with it. She was going to make sure that she maintained her belief that he would get better. 

Her bottom lip quivered as she steadied the phone and took the picture. Everything looked fine on the tiny phone screen. She could tell people that Gene had fallen asleep and his sisters wanted to play some random prank on him and it would be believable. 

“Awe, look at you. I’ll have to show ya when you wake up.”

The smile faded as the silence remained between them. She wasn’t in this fantasy land where he was conscious, she was well aware of the situation. It was just hard facing it. It was hard going in there time after time knowing that he needed her, and there wasn’t anything she could do. It was just easier to pretend whenever she could. 

“You’d better enjoy those while you can. Louise isn’t going to let you keep those for too much longer,” she warned him, her voice cracking as her act began to fall apart. 

She couldn’t do this anymore. She was just too tired and it was all beginning to be too hard to sit here and pretend when reality was staring her in the eyes. What should have been this funny, cute moment was nothing but a bleak reminder that this was all so serious that even Louise lost apart of herself. Linda wasn’t sitting here having a conversation with Gene, she was talking at her barely alive son who had no idea she was even there, and might never know how much time she had spent in that room waiting for him to return. 

The last time around, she has been able to hold up the act up until the funeral. At the time though, it was feasible. She would go out and buy diapers and other baby supplies. Even before they found out about Tina, they knew Danny wouldn’t be their last. And then after they found out, they were able to set the overstock aside for her. 

It wasn’t until the night before the funeral that everything completely hit her. She had cried when Danny died and she was aware of everything, but when she returned home she wanted to play pretend, she wanted to escape. She went down to the store to pick up a few things. Bob had told her not to worry about it and that they would be fine a few days without this and that, but in all honesty she mainly left because she had to get out of the house. Sitting there and staring at an empty room while a silent baby monitor still sat on the table was one of the harshest forms of punishment that she could ever imagine, yet neither of them had the heart to move anything. So she went and she got a few basics like milk and eggs and whatnot. 

Upon passing the baby aisle, she stopped and instinctively wandered down it. There was one thing she had yet to get, something she hadn’t bought since his admission to the hospital - his mushed pears. It was something every baby ate, but he loved them. He would squeal when he realized that was what she was feeding him. 

Linda felt silly as she picked up the small jar, smiling. It felt nice, normal. She was picking up food for her baby back home, one that refused to eat just about anything else. And she continued smiling as she watched the item get bagged by itself, the cashier that knew her and her family, offering her a look of pity and concern that Linda ignored. She smiled all the way home. 

Everything was fine up until she started putting everything away, making sure to leave that jar for last. Bob stood there at the counter, watching her closely and waiting for that one item. It were as though he knew what she was doing, and she believed that he did know, he probably knew what she would come home with before she even walked out the door. 

There were no words as she grasped the small container and placed it onto the shelf. It wasn’t until she let go, that she froze, her hand hovering above the lid. She told Bob something about, just in case Danny was hungry or whatever, that he needed to be able to regain his strength. That was when she lost it, the second she turned around and asked point blank why they didn’t deserve to be able to give him that one last meal, to be able to bring him home one last time. 

Now here she was, losing it before Gene was even gone. “I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she stated as she threw her arms around him, sobbing as she desperately clung to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Tina and Louise were absent in this chapter and that Tina has not made much of an appearance in this story as a whole. I had to remove a scene from this chapter due to a few things such as flow, placement, and scene set ups. Both Tina and Louise will get a big scene in the upcoming chapter. I can promise you that. Even Gene will get a scene in the next chapter, one that is not a flashback.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I say anything, I would like to mention that there are a few trigger warnings. TW: Suicidal thoughts, and Self Harm. 
> 
> Second, I know that the poem isn't all that great. I do not personally write poetry all that often, if you couldn't tell. I did the best I could though lol.

Chapter 8: Castle Down

One Month Earlier

Tina stepped out onto the stage, swallowing thickly as she tried to focus on anything other than the crowd before her. All she wanted was to run and hide, to not have to go through with reading this. Besides the fact that an audience made her slightly nervous, she hated the idea of sharing something so deeply personal. They most likely wouldn’t understand, but she knew what she was telling them, and that was enough. 

“Hi! I’m Tina Belcher, and this is an original poem, by me, Tina. It’s called Fragile,” she announced, scanning the crowd. 

There was a nervous pause as she looked down and cleared her throat. The room remain silent, something that made her even more uncomfortable. 

“I never realized how everything was so fragile; how many lives can depend on the results of one vile. One phone call, one second, can change it all. 

One brick begins to crack and everything's thrown out of whack. We all avoid the impending doom of the crushing void. We fool ourselves into thinking the ignorance will bring a solution when really we’re all too scared to open our eyes and face the situation. 

The weakness begins to spread and the others start to break. Onlookers watch, knowing what's at stake. You can be cautious to try and stall the fall, but all it takes is one mistake. 

No one says it, but they all know what they're watching. The bricks are collapsing and the castle is falling. 

What was once bright and beautiful is now crumbling and decaying. 

No one can help, no one can stop it. The void is too big for anyone to fit and the weight is too much for anyone to hold. 

Now my castle is gone, casting me out all alone to try and rebuild. And all I have left is a little pebble to hold.”

As soon as she was finished, she emitted a small sigh of relief. There was some applause, but it was clear not many people had paid attention. The quietness offered her some comfort in the fact that maybe this wouldn’t be talked about or brought up to her again. Yet, the fact that they ignored her seemed oddly fitting for the situation. It was that sort of treatment at home that prompted her to write the poem. 

Present

“What do you think?” Bob asked. 

There was a heaviness to the air that surrounded him making it painful to breathe as he awaited his wife’s response. It was obvious to him that she wouldn’t take well. No matter how much time she had to prepare herself or how gentle his words were, she would take this hard, and he was ready. He was ready for the screaming and the fighting and the tears and the drinking. All of it was about to come and he was ready. 

Linda looked up to him from her spot at the kitchen table, eyes glossed over as a chill traveled down her spine. His silence on the way home should have told her everything, it should have been the warning flag. She should have seen it in the way that he’d been withdrawing from her. 

“How dare you?” She questioned. “How fucking dare you!” She snapped, standing. 

“You promised me that he would be the one that we got to keep, Bob! Now you want him dead? He’s our son!” She yelled in disgust, tears of pain and betrayal flowing down her cheeks. He might as well have just pushed her down to the ground and cut out her heart with a butter knife. 

Bob brushed his fingers through his hair, dumbfounded. “I don’t know what else to do here,” he answered as calmly as he could. “I was told that he’s not getting better, he only seems to be getting worse, Lin. I don’t know what to say.” 

He was stuck. If he told Linda that everything was okay and they kept going on as they were, everything was bound to blow up in their faces. One of them would end up in jail, others injured, or maybe even worse. This was a strain that this family was simply not used to, nor were they prepared for it. He had been watching his wife for weeks, seeing her at the edge of her breaking point and dreading that moment that she would finally fall into the darkness. He barely saw his daughters anymore, and he knew they were falling apart. 

“Tell me that you’re not pulling the plug,” she demanded through clenched teeth. 

She wasn’t about to allow herself the chance to even try to understand what he was telling her. Gene was slipping through their fingers and they were only stretching out the process. It was an easy enough concept to comprehend, however she wasn’t about to give up. There had been too much time, too much suffering behind this. It had to pay off, they had to be able to keep this one. They just had to, it was only fair. 

“We’ll give him a few more weeks and see what happens,” he explained, swallowing back a few tears. 

“No!” Linda yelled, infuriated as she walked towards Bob. “We can’t start giving him deadlines! What if we don’t give him enough time? What happens if we pull the plug just a week too early? I can’t lose another baby!” 

“You’re not the only one who’s losing people!” He snapped, unable to contain himself any longer. 

“Do you know how hard it was to make that decision on Danny? I tore myself up over that for years! I still wonder about that! Every time his fucking birthday passes I wonder if he could be celebrating another year alive if I would have just waited!” 

Bob calmed himself, guilt rushing over him as soon as he saw the look of surprise on Linda’s face. He never meant to yell at her like that, but he could not handle being blamed for this. He kicked himself enough over their loss, the last thing he needed was for her to stand there and tell him everything he had been using to punish himself for years. 

“I wanted to wait, Linda. I wanted to, but I had you and Tina to think about. You don’t think that bothered me? I hid sleeping pills from you for months after he died because I kept having nightmares. I spent most of that night puking right after I signed those papers! So stop putting all the damn blame on me!” 

Linda choked back a sob as she watched him. She had always felt bad for not being there for him the way that he had for her. Now though, she felt about ten times worse, her heart falling out of her chest. Yet, she still felt like some of this was his fault. Not Danny, but Gene. There was no reason for them to be rushing like they did Danny. It’s not like she were pregnant again, Tina and Louise were both healthy, and they both had some extra money. Everything was different this time. They had to have a different outcome, it only made sense. 

“I never blamed you for Danny! I don’t blame you! I don’t blame Tina! I know that no one is at fault for him! But so help me, if you pull that plug on Gene…!”

She paused, a soft sob escaping her. She couldn’t believe that she actually had to be make that sort of threat, that Bob was considering such an action. 

“There’s no reason to rush this decision! That’s why we did everything we did so that it wouldn’t come to this!” Linda argued, trying be more mad than upset. 

“Look at us, Lin! We can barely take care of ourselves! Our kids don’t talk to us anymore! We’re losing control! I can’t throw everyone under the bus because you can’t face reality!” He harshly explained, tears swelling in his eyes. 

Regret filled him seconds after the words had left his mouth. It wasn’t supposed to come out like that, but hurt in turn, always created more hurt. 

Rage pulsed through her veins, her mouth agape as she processed the cruel words that had just been spoken to her. There were no words to describe the betrayal that she had felt. So instead, she stepped forward and slapped Bob across the face, the smack echoing through the air, her hand leaving a beat red mark on his cheek. 

Bob was about to say something, to apologize and maybe try to explain himself, but it wasn’t worth it. He deserved that. As a matter of fact, it made him feel slightly better that she had taken such an action rather than just run off and hide. 

Linda stood there, watching him as she tried to figure out her next course of action. Yelling wouldn’t do much, what would she say? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that he basically told her that her son was already dead, well, that was what she had heard. 

“Go to hell,” was all she could say before turning and heading towards the bedroom. 

The words, although benign at the moment, sent a shiver down his spine. It were as though he could feel some physical detachment as she left. The loud slam of the door only tossing salt into his wounds. 

Louise sat in her room, overhearing the entire thing - they might be pulling the plug on her big brother. She remained as still as could be on her bed, staring forward into space as she desperately tried to convince herself that she wasn’t hearing things correctly - they were just being over emotional or they had heard something wrong. 

As possible as that all was, she knew that she was wrong. It was a losing battle with herself to try and pretend. This had been coming for a while now, she had felt it. It was this strong, ominous feeling of dread that weighed down on her every time she so much as thought about him. 

That was why she had stopped at the hospital to see him, because something told her that she would regret it if she hadn’t. 

Two Days Earlier. 

It wasn’t too long after Louise and Calvin had finished a poker game together that she had decided she had to see Gene. This trip was something that she had been avoiding from the very start. The last time that she had seen him was right after he had been admitted, and it was only because everyone else had gone. It was disturbing to see him so ill, to see him so lifeless. She couldn’t bare to be in the room for more than a minute or two. 

Something told her that she had to go now though, she had to see him. It was a nagging that she had all day. Perhaps it was because the holidays were slowly approaching, Thanksgiving was in a couple of weeks, snow was starting to fall. Or maybe it was something bigger than that. 

“Hey Gene,” she softly greeted as she walked into the room. 

She knew that she wasn’t really supposed to be there without one of her parents, but it was pretty easy to sneak past everyone when you “accidentally” set off an alarm and they were all rushing to see what the trouble was. 

“You’ll never guess what I had to do to get in here,” she started, forcing a small laugh as she slowly approached the bed. “All you need is five dollars and someone willing to do what you say.” 

This little pretend conversation had an odd way of making her feel better. It was more comfortable. Like maybe he was sleeping or something. She climbed up onto the bed and sat there, cross legged as she faced him with a smile. 

“So I found this guy who was okay with slipping into this deathly ill patients room and doing something to get all the workers’ attention. I’m not sure what he did, but it worked and I’m glad it only cost five dollars. I don’t think anyone was supposed to go into the room without one of those suits.” 

She paused for a second, her smile fading as she watched his emotionless face. It was a painful reminder of why he was here in the first place. 

“Look, you need to get better, okay?” She told him, trying to sound demanding. “I can’t be paying idiots five dollars every time I want to see you. I’m not even sure that’s going to work anymore.” 

“Besides, it’s starting to get boring at home. I’m the only one that’s ever there anymore. I need you to hang out with. I’ll even let you be part of the burn unit,” she mentioned, starting to practically beg him. “Don’t tell anyone, but I miss you, alright? That stays here.” 

Louise sniffled, peeking over her shoulder to make sure that she was still alone with Gene. People were going to be coming and looking for her sooner or later and she wanted to make sure that she said everything she needed to before they got there. 

Seeing that it was still clear, she looked back to her brother with tears forming in her eyes. “Here’s the deal,” she began, hesitating before she removed her hat. “You take these. They should be lucky or something. Just keep them while you’re here.” 

It felt weird, almost as if she were naked without the hat. It gave her a vulnerability that she despised with all her being, but for Gene, it was worth it. Something deep inside of her, that part of her that was somewhat naive believed that this simple article of clothing would help him. She couldn’t explain it, but it made sense to her. 

Thickly swallowing, she took hold of his hand and placed the ears in his palm before gently closing his fingers into a fist. Her hands lingered on his, a way of comforting herself, a reminder that he was still there and he was still breathing. 

“But get better soon, you hear? Because every day that you have these is another week that you have to spend doing my chores,” she ordered, desperately trying, and failing to hold back her tears. 

Present Day

“Louise?”

The knocking at the door by her caused her to jump, bringing her attention to the fact that her cheeks were still dry. Although surprised, she was thankful that she hadn’t started sobbing yet. Everyone here was upset and neither of her parents would blame her, but she hated having witnesses. 

“What?” She called back. 

“I’m heading out for a walk, okay? I’ll just be gone a few minutes,” Bob explained. 

He just had to get out of there. He had to be able to think about the situation, to fully comprehend that his son may not be coming home, that he may not make it. To have children yanked away from you was a truly jarring experience and he couldn’t just stand here and accept it. 

“Okay,” Louise replied, barely caring where he was. 

Bob was still her favorite parent, but after tonight she needed a break, she needed to not hear that killing Gene was the best option that they had. Okay, so they weren’t exactly killing him, but it sure felt like that. The term pulling the plug, it essentially meant that they were giving up on him. In her mind, they might as well just go get the gun and put it to his head. It would end the same way, right? 

Bob sighed, wishing she had said more. He knew that she heard everything and that she was upset. Her lack of words stung, letting him know that there was one more person in this house that blamed him. 

“Bye,” he said, only to receive no answer. 

His head hung as he turned and started for the stairs. He wanted was some reminder that maybe he was doing the right thing. He could understand why Linda and Louise were mad at him, but he needed to think of everyone. He needed to keep in mind that he couldn’t be working with criminals forever, that Linda couldn’t be going out and looking for illegal side jobs, that they had to be able to afford to take care of Tina and Louise. They had two other children to worry about, one that was already in high school and would be heading off to college in a few years. 

Besides all of the practical reasons, there was the mental well being of everyone. This was taking a huge toll on everyone. If Gene were doomed, then why stretch it out? Why force everyone to go through the extra months of getting let down and going through the emotional torment of waiting for that one moment where he truly is gone from them. If it had to be done, it had to be done and it was better to do so sooner rather than later. 

Louise sat there, tears beginning to fall as she heard his footsteps travel down the hall and further away from her. All she wanted was for things to go back to the way that they were. She wanted Gene home, she wanted her parents working together down in the restaurant and laughing together, she wanted her big sister here to pick on and hang out with. She missed everyone. 

Sniffling, she looked down and saw the megaphone poking out from under her bed. The sight of it made her blood instantly boil. She wasn’t sure why, but she suddenly blamed Gene for all of this. He was the one that got sick and he was the one that wasn’t getting any better. If it weren’t for him, this whole family wouldn’t be so torn up. 

Maybe she had always blamed him. Not entirely, but there must have been some resentment present from the very beginning that was just now starting to surface - some cheap coping mechanism shielding her from the pain that she should be feeling right now, the utter loss. 

“Damn it,” she hissed under her breath before reaching down and grabbing the toy. 

Megaphone at hand, she hopped off the bed and stood there. Her eyes were glued to the object as she remembered Gene using it every time he had to go out in the burger suit. It might have been slightly annoying at the time, but now she would give anything to hear it out there.

The more she thought back, the tighter her grip became. Anger grew within her, heating her face as her cheeks turned red. She was tired of all of this, tired of the fighting and the tension and the fear. None of this was fair and she just wanted it all end already. 

Instantly, she threw the item across the room, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed. She fell to her knees, a hand running through her hair. Everything was overwhelming for her, the waiting and constant realization that she was slowly losing everyone around her. Things were changing, and not for the better. And it was all Gene’s fault. It was his fault because he got sick. The second that he fell ill the entire world revolved around him, and it absorbed her parents completely. They forgot about her and Tina, they forgot about the restaurant, they forgot what life was before all of this and put all of their focus into getting money. 

The worst part was that she couldn’t even be mad at them. She did the same thing. As soon as she heard how expensive this all was, she went to the one man she knew who really knew how to make money. She tossed her family aside and did what she felt she had to do for Gene. 

Looking up, she paused. The megaphone had broke. The handle was cracked and laying a few inches away from the speaker. Her heart skipped a beat as her entire body went numb. Time seemed to pause as she took in the image before her. She had broken one of Gene’s toys. Her connection to him had been broken. 

“No, no, no!” She desperately begged as she scurried to crawl across the room. 

“No!” She cried, the toy right in front of her. 

Louise reached out, gently taking the parts and cradling them. She couldn’t believe what she had done, she ruined the last part of Gene she had. That was it. They would never buy him a new one, not if they were planning on pulling --- 

No. She couldn’t even bare to think it. Especially after that little fit she had just thrown. She couldn’t. 

The second that toy busted, it broke something within her, the part of her that had been clinging to the small shred of hope that managed to linger this long. This entire time she had been scared, but that was it, it was nothing more than fear of what could happen. Now it was much deeper fear, one of facing the reality that was unraveling around her. 

When that toy broke, it popped the small bubble she had created for herself to live in, one where Gene was getting better and would be coming home. 

Shaking, she brought the items in and hugged them. A sob caught in her throat as she searched through the darkness. It wasn’t clear as to what she was looking for, possibly something to offer some comfort, an escape. All she knew that was that she could feel her own heart pounding. The room had begun spinning. She had to get out of there, but her legs wouldn’t allow it. She just had to accept the absolute dread and suffocation. 

oooooo

Twelve Years Earlier 

Linda laid back in the bed, sweat drenching her as she fought to catch her breath. This was the moment she had been anxiously awaiting for the past nine months. A wave of relief washed over her as soon as she heard her baby cry. He was alive. He made it. Of course, that was no guarantee, but she was too overjoyed to even allow those negative thoughts entry right now.

“Oh Bobby!” She sobbed, tears of joy staining her reddened cheeks. 

The doctor handed her her precious baby boy. A huge smile stretched across her face as stared down at her screaming baby. He was breathing, and that was all that mattered. That was everything. Her baby was alive and healthy and she couldn’t feel any happier if she tried. 

“I love you so much!” She announced before planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. 

Bob’s eyes watered at the sight as he stood right beside her. His hand rested on his wife’s shoulder as he stared down to his new son. He was just as relieved to see that everything was fine. 

“I love you,” he stated. 

“I love you too,” she replied, looking over to him. 

Bob leaned in and kissed her, only taking his eyes off of Gene for a second. “Thank you.” 

“Awe, it was nothing,” Linda teased, softly laughing as she stared down to Gene.

Present 

Linda sit there on her bed in the dark room, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She needed to sob, to give the emotions swirling within her an outlet, but she was tired. She was tired of fighting and tired of getting her hopes up, and tired of losing. So she sat there, an open bottle of wine on the nightstand as she hugged the baby blue hat that Gene wore when he was a baby, it was the hat they gave him at the hospital. 

Her fingers wrapped tightly around the fabric as she held it to her chest. It wasn’t bringing her nearly as much comfort as she had hoped, rather it acted as a relic, causing her to feel even emptier as she longed to go back to the days where she had felt she could forget about the illness that stole two of her babies. If all three of her kids could go back to being healthy, she would never complain again. She would do anything to save her children, anything at all. She would trade places with Gene, even subject herself to the slowest, most painful death if it would mean giving him the chance to live. Anything was better than coming to terms with the fact that this might be all she had left of her son. 

“Mom!” 

Linda jumped at the sound. Oddly enough, she had forgotten that she in fact was not alone. It would have been comforting, but there was a panic to Tina’s voice, and urgency that made her already broken heart nearly disintegrate completely. 

“Tina!” She called, rushing towards the sound of her voice. 

Tina kneeled on the floor before her sister. As bad as she felt about disturbing Linda at such a time, she knew that this was something she couldn’t handle. Louise was just sitting there, wheezing, shaking, and unresponsive. It was scaring her to death and she had no idea how to help. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her!” Tina explained as soon as she saw Linda. 

“Oh boy,” she sighed. 

She knew what was happening, and instantly felt bad. Louise was there the whole time, she heard everything. 

“Okay sweetie, come here,” she wearily said as she knelt down before her. 

It took her a second, but she finally realized what Louise was holding, the megaphone. The sight didn’t quite hit her the same way it had Louise. If anything, she was apathetic towards it, which deeply disturbed her. It brought upon this realization that she accepted this more than she had thought. Perhaps she’d known a lot longer than she wanted to admit to herself. 

As a mother, she felt she was supposed to have this ability to know certain things, to feel things. In a way, she had been sensitive - as she liked to call it - before, she just hadn’t noticed until after things had settled. There was one night where she went and looked back at some of the writings in her journal that she had kept from the time that Danny got sick up until Tina’s birth. 

Most of the time with Danny, she could have sworn that there was some optimism there, but looking back at the words, she knew. It wasn’t all spelled out, but it was there. It was especially evident right before she found out that she was pregnant. It were as though she knew that he was done. Subconsciously she comprehended what was happening in her body and how it was going to affect everything. 

There was one entry about how hopefully she could use some of Danny’s things for her future children, speaking as if he wasn’t about to come home. And there were mentions of wanting another baby around for some morbid reason. She knew, but she wouldn’t let herself know that she knew. 

Maybe this was just like that and she just saw it sooner. 

Linda suddenly remembered that she still had the hat in her hand and stuffed it into her pocket before taking the pieces from Louise. She really didn’t know what to do here either. Getting her to bed sounded like a good idea, something to try and calm her. The last thing they needed was another child in the hospital. 

“Come here. Mommy’s got you,” she cooed, scooping the little girl into her arms. 

Louise could feel that she was being carried. The contact put her slightly at ease, reminding her that she wasn’t so alone, so trapped. The trembling stopped and she could feel herself being able to breathe again as she was placed on her bed, her shoes removed and the blanket wrapped securely around her. 

“I’m sorry,” Louise muttered, her mind still centered on the toy. 

Linda placed a kiss on her forehead, worried to death about what was going to happen when, or rather if, things turned out the way that she was starting to think they would. It was possible that the initial shock was the worst of it. It was also possible that Louise could get worse. 

This must have been what Bob was talking about, his warning. This was the damage that was being done to her family, and it tore her up inside, seeing how blind she was and not listening. Ultimately there was nothing that could be done to completely fix the situation, but he was right, if they had to do, the sooner the better. It was like a band aid in that way. The only problem was that even though the worst pain came in the beginning, they were uncovering a wound that would never heal. It would always be sore, get hurt every time someone poked it. It was a permanent cut. 

“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry about,” she assured her daughter. 

“You promised,” Louise stated, a little more firmly. 

Linda was taken aback by the remark, her body going numb. She did, she had promised her that it wouldn’t come down to this. She promised her that she wouldn’t let them lose Gene, the same way that Bob had promised her that she wouldn’t be losing anyone. Apparently they both made promises that they could not keep. 

“I know,” she weakly replied, trying to maintain her composure. “And I’m sorry. But we haven’t done anything yet. Okay? Just keep in mind that nothing’s actually happened.” 

Louise knew that, it just hurt. She was smart enough to know that you can’t control everything, that you can’t just force someone to get better and that you can’t always know what’s going to happen next. Her mom’s promise though, it was just so reassuring, it gave her a false sense of hope and it stung so badly to have it yanked out from under her. It was a jolting experience. 

“I know.” 

Tina just stood there, watching the scene before her. She still had yet to hear of the news, but she was slowly figuring it out. The moment she had passed her sullen father on the stairs she had known that there was something wrong, and she had her guesses. 

There was something more though. Linda’s injuries, Bob’s sketchy behavior, Louise suddenly hanging around their landlord, she had missed out on some huge events. As curious as she was, she was glad that she didn’t fully understand. The only true downside was that she felt bad. Seeing this, she had this guilt, her conscience telling her that she should have been there. She had abandoned her family in a time of need because she couldn’t bare to deal with it anymore. 

“What happened?” She blurted out as though she had been growing impatient. 

Linda looked over to her and thickly swallowed. “I’ll talk to ya in a minute,” she softly responded. 

“Here,” she said, turning her attention back to her youngest and pulling the hat out of her pocket. Not having her bunny ears was probably slightly stressful for Louise and she wanted to try and help ease that stress. “Why don’t you take Gene’s hat while he has yours?” 

She leaned in and placed the tiny baby hat onto her head, struggling to make it fit. The irritating thing was that it almost worked, it was just sliding off her head though. The act, if nothing else, did cause her and Louise some slight amusement. Well, Louise looked annoyed, but deep down she had to have been enjoying this. It wasn’t like she was protesting or anything. 

“I got it,” Louise finally stated, taking the hat. She pulled it down over her head and pulled a couple of bobby pins off the nightstand and used them to try and secure the hat. She knew that it wouldn’t last long, but it was something. 

The little girl didn’t want to get too attached because she knew that Linda would be taking back the hat, but it was oddly comforting to her. It was something of his, something that she couldn’t break. And it perfectly replaced the item she had given up for him. 

Linda sucked in her lips, her eyes watering as she nodded. “I’ll be right back, alright sweetie? If you need anything just call.” 

Louise just nodded. Being alone for a few moments simultaneously sounded like the best and the worst idea. On one hand, she wanted those few moments of calm to try and forget, just to focus on something other than Gene. On the other hand, it would serve as a reminder of what was coming, her loneliness. 

Linda stood, taking one last look of pity to her daughter prior to turning and leaving the room with Tina following. 

Tina got out into the hall and watched as Linda carefully shut the door behind her. Even though she already had a pretty good idea of what she was about to hear, she still couldn’t prepare herself for it. This was everything that she had been running from, the reason that she sought out comfort from others. This was the moment that she had been dreading for weeks. 

“He’s dying, isn’t he?” 

It was blurted out with such haste and bluntness, it took Linda a moment to even react. “That’s what it sounds like,” she softly answered, defeated. 

In a way, Linda was happy that she didn’t have to stand there and tell her what was happening. The less she spoke of it, the better. The only real thing that bothered her about Tina’s question was the fact that she appeared to be angry with her, and really she couldn’t blame her. She had been the one that failed to reach out to her and try to help her through all of this. 

“I’m sorry,” Linda added. 

Tina nodded. She wasn’t sure how to react. The walls were suddenly closing in on her, the air somehow leaving the room. Her chest felt funny, as if the emptiness had an actual physical feel to it, a heaviness to the absence. This must have been what Louise had been feeling. 

“Excuse me!” Tina exclaimed, rushing past her mother. 

Bile rose in the back of her throat as she ran down the stairs. She had to get out of there, she didn’t know why, but she had to. Even once she finally got out the door, it wasn’t enough. She had to keep running, she had to get further. 

Her eyes burned as she did her best to ignore the tears. It didn’t matter right now, all that mattered was that she kept running. And that’s what she did, she continued running down the sidewalk towards the beach. 

Common sense told her that no matter what, she could not simply just outrun everything. Here, she still had the same problems that she did back home. Realities didn’t differ by location. There was just something about being away from it for a moment, and the sight of the ocean helped with with illusion. It was so open, so big, her issues were nothing compared to it. 

Tina came to a halt at the edge of the sand, the orange glow of the sun hitting her face as it slowly crept out of view beyond the horizon. The breeze was numbingly cold, but anything was better than the suffocation she had experienced back home. 

“Why?” She whimpered before allowing her knees to collapse below her. 

That was the only question she had. Why? It wasn’t fair. Why did this have to happen to him? Why did it have to happen to them? It just didn’t make sense. None of this made sense. Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she didn’t sob, nor did she yell. There was no point. She was in so much shock, and she had very little energy. Why bother? 

Oooooo

His breath shown in the air as he passed under a street light. It didn’t feel nearly as cold as it was, but Bob attributed that to the fact that maybe he had gone completely numb. It weren’t as though he would have been able to ask Linda the same question if he hadn’t somehow killed off some of his feelings. 

All he wished for was for her to at least try and understand. It wasn’t easy going into that room and hearing the doctor give this bullshit speech about how they’ve been doing this and that. What difference does it make what was done if none of it worked? Knowing what they did didn’t make Gene better. If anything that man was spouting off procedures to ease his own conscience, which was absolutely disgusting. 

There was a rattling noise that caught his attention, causing him to paused and turn to look over his shoulder. 

“Hello?” He called. 

Nothing. He supposed it could have been bushes or a tree or whatever. There was a breeze. 

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he continued walking down the nearly empty sidewalk. His thoughts circled back to when he was younger, around the time things started going downhill for his family. 

Forty One Years Earlier

Bob hid off to the side in darkness of the hallway. He was right behind the door frame as he listened in on his parents. Something big had happened that day and no one wanted to tell him about it. His mom cried and his dad yelled, that was all that he was aware of now. 

Oddly enough, the whole thing failed to scare him. At the age of five, he had some small grasp of the intensity of what was happening. It was bad. Yet, he didn’t fear it. Part of him knew that it wouldn’t harm him, whatever it was. He just wanted to know what was upsetting everyone so much. 

“So now what?” Norma faintly inquired. 

The middle aged, dark haired beauty sat at the kitchen table, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Her face had been all puffy from crying most of the day. 

Robert, who had been standing with his back to her at the counter, a bottle in one hand and a glass in the other, slammed the glass down. “I don’t know,” he snapped. 

Bob flinched, emitting a small squeak as he did so. And instantly, he realized he was in trouble. His father wheeled around, fury present in his eyes and whiskey pumping through his veins. 

“What the hell are you doing here? Go back to bed!” Robert’s voice roared through the apartment. 

“Robert!” Norma snapped. 

Robert closed his eyes and calmed himself. “I’m sorry. Your mom and I just need some time alone, alright?” 

Bob just nodded. As badly as he wanted to go in there and hug his mom and ask what was happening, he wasn’t so sure that he wanted to be around either of them for very long.

Present

That night stuck with him, and he never knew why until he was older. It was because he had sensed the grief in the room. As a child, he’d had a rough understanding of the situation, one that he wasn’t even aware of at the time. The more that he thought back on it, the worse it seemed. 

After all of that time dealing with loss, he was left with scars that were both emotional and physical. That was what scared him most about all of this. If Gene died, it would crush him, but there would be nothing they could do for him. If Tina or Louise took his loss harshly and either of them did something, that would be on him. 

Seeing that sort of pain in the eyes of those he loved would slowly kill him on the inside. All he wanted was for everyone to be able to heal from this, no matter what the outcome. As much as he would hate feeling the utter loss, having to deal with the aftermath and try to pick up all the pieces was something that he wasn’t sure he could do again. 

As his mind centered around that time, his left wrist begun to sting, the familiar sensation causing a knot in his stomach. He remembered factoring in his problem with clotting as he debated with the blade in his hand. The initial cut offered a feeling that reminded him of his mortality and gave him a chance to feel again for the first time in months. It was a pain that for once was physical rather than fully emotional, it felt more real and easier to deal with. 

He had to stop, to focus on anything else. It wasn’t that he had the urge to start back up with the habit, but it was filling him with this ominous feeling, that maybe his daughters had harbored the same ideas. All those years ago Linda had made him promise that he wouldn’t even think about it, and now he was just hoping to God that he wouldn’t have to force anyone else to make that same pledge. 

Oooooo

An unopened bottle of wine sat on the table before Linda as she eyed it. Bob had been gone for hours now, the kids were breaking, she was probably going to lose her little Gene bean. There was every reason to drink, yet she couldn’t. This wasn’t like every other time she drank, to ease some anxiety and have some fun, this was to forget. And once she started down that road, she wasn’t sure of when she would come back. There were other people to think about right now, people that needed her. 

She hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lights as she sat back in the chair. What was it that she had to see anyways? An empty room? The spot in which Gene used to sit for every meal? Or perhaps she needed to be able to catch her reflection in the window and see how much of a failure she was. 

Sometimes she wondered whether or not she was needed, whether or not her existence was worth it. She couldn’t keep her kids alive, her husband probably left her. She was nothing more than a burden to everyone. 

“I guess it doesn’t matter,” she sighed, deciding to reach for the bottle. 

Her hand barely reached the wine before the phone rang. As soon as the sound rippled through the kitchen, slicing the silence, her heart skipped a beat. This was it. This was the phone call, the one she had been dreading since Gene got sick. And Bob wasn’t even here. He wouldn’t know until he came home and saw her note telling him that she knew he didn’t have his phone and that she and the kids were at the hospital, waiting. 

Slowly, she stood and went over to the counter. Her eyes watched the phone as if it were going to attack her. Her hand moved to hover over the phone as she thickly swallowed. 

“Hello?” Her voice slightly trembled. 

Louise shot out of bed as soon as she had heard the phone rang. Getting a phone call so late at night was never good, not when you knew someone in the hospital. There was no way that anyone else would be calling. Besides, there had been that feeling that she had had for the past few days, the one that had been nagging at her, causing her to finally see Gene. 

She got up and headed towards the entrance to the kitchen, but made sure to stay hidden in the shadow as she peered in, watching the scene before her. She had to know what was wrong. As soon as she heard the worry in her mother’s voice, she was sure she had the same feeling, that she too knew. 

“This is,” Linda replied. 

Louise’s eyes widened as soon as she saw her mom’s do the same. She watched as the woman stood there in shock, eyes huge with panic. The world froze for a moment as she tried to feel something, anything but the numbness that suddenly overcame her. 

“What do you mean he was shot? Is he okay?” 

Dad. It had to be dad. That’s why he had the gun, to protect himself. There were people after him with what he was doing. He was an easy target, and he went out there without it and walked around in the open. That was it, that was the decision that could have killed him. 

Those were the thoughts racing through Louise’s head. The room spun around her as she clung onto the wall, waiting for Linda to do something other than just stand there and stare. She needed something. She needed to hear that her father was still alive. If he didn’t come home -- 

The phone fell to the ground, the crashing sound bringing Louise back to the present. All she saw next was her mom fall to her knees, no crying, no screaming, just expressionless staring. That was her answer. 

“No,” she whimpered. 

She fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor. Her entire body shook as she gasped for air through the sobs that began wracking her small frame. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she resisted the urge to scream.


	9. Principle of Uncertainty (Part 1)

Chapter 9: Principle of Uncertainty (Part 1) 

Linda sat out in the waiting room, eyes focused on a random spot on the floor. It was all she could do to refrain from becoming hysterical. As a mother, she couldn’t afford that luxury right now, the chance to simply crack under the pressure. Her daughters were on either side of her, holding her hands, reminding her that she still had them. 

_“You’d better mean everything you just said here tonight,” she stated, trying to sound as if she were teasing him._

_“I mean it, all of it. No one is leaving you,” he promised her, taking her into his arms._

_“Thank you,” she responded, returning the embrace and resting her head against his chest._

She meant him too. She needed Bob around, losing children wasn’t something she could face alone. There was no just going home after this and moving on with her life. Two bare spots at the table and an untouched side of the bed was not something she was ready to handle. 

“Are we gonna be okay?” Tina flatly asked. 

“No,” Louise bluntly answered, her eyes glued to a spot on the floor. 

Linda quickly turned her attention to the little girl, shocked that she would even think such a thing. Nothing was going right at the moment, and it looked gloomy, but it would get better. Somehow. At least, Louise should believe that. Ten was too young of an age to be so negative. 

“Of course we will sweetie, eventually.” Even if she wasn’t sure she was right, she had to try and maintain some semblance of positivity here. If not for the girls, for her own sanity. 

Louise jumped up from her spot, seething as she looked to her mother with disbelief. She made sure to jerk her hand away from her as harsh as possible. 

“No mom! We won’t! Don’t you get it!? If he’s dead, we have no restaurant! We have less than no money! I don’t know what happens at that point! And you’re going to be so far gone at that point that I’m not even sure you’re going to be there! And Tina’s going to run away like she’s been doing! And let’s not forget that we don’t even know who it was that shot him! It could be someone mad at him, it could be someone for you! What if they come back? What if they want all of us dead? Then what? I mean, I guess we don’t have to worry about them coming after Gene since you and dad pretty much gave up on him anyways just like you did with Danny!” 

“Wait, what?” Tina questioned, not sure how to react to what she’d just heard as she looked between the two. 

“How could…?” Linda attempted to ask as she did her best to keep from sobbing. 

Linda pulled her hand away from Tina and sat forward in her seat. Part of her wanted to get up and run, but she didn’t know where she would even go. And she suddenly felt weak. There was no way that her legs could carry her anywhere right now. 

“How?” She questioned once more. 

The worst part of it all was that she didn’t have any arguments. She couldn’t even gather herself enough to ask how Louise could state all of that because deep down she knew that it was all true. There were people that were after both her and Bob and they probably did want them all dead. And she was right in saying that she would be far gone if things went downhill. There was no guaranteeing that she would be able to protect her children. 

Then there was that part about giving up -- the part that physically pained her to process. Danny would always play on her mind. No matter what her parents told her when she called crying to tell them the news, no matter what Bob’s father told her when he pulled her aside at the funeral and told her that he understood loss and to talk to him if she needed it, no matter what Bob told her when he would hold her at night just to try and get her to relax, it would always seem as though she gave up on him. 

Tina looked between the two, more confused than ever as she tried to catch onto what had been said. If only she had known the true weight of her sister’s accusations. 

“Mom?” She called, trying her best to snap Linda out of her gaze and shed some clarity on the situation. 

“I just don’t want to be lied to anymore, mom. I can’t take it,” Louise confessed. “You tell me all of this stuff and then you start lying to me only to break your promises and I can’t take getting let down anymore.” 

“Yeah, well apparently that’s all I’m good for,” Linda said before rushing off down the hall. 

Tina watched as her mom left the room, growing more and more anxious. “Louise?” She asked, hoping that maybe she would receive an explanation. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t be let down anymore. I’m gonna lose it,” she flatly told her, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Louise wanted to tell Tina everything. She wanted her to know about Danny and about the night that she and mom had spent hiding in the bedroom from criminals. She wanted her to know about the things she had been doing to steal money with Mr. Fischoeder. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t tell her about the test Linda had taken and why she had to take that test, she couldn’t tell her about Bob and why he owned a gun. Most of all, she couldn’t tell her about Danny. She couldn’t have her sitting here thinking that she was partially to blame for the absence of their older brother. 

“I don’t wanna let you down,” Tina stated, scrambling to say anything to keep her from breaking. 

Her little sister had always been fragile. There was this tough exterior at times and she didn’t put up with other people knocking her around, but there had always been this underlying fear that lingered within her. Tina could see whenever her relationships were threatened. She could see how the child despised the idea of things changing around her and didn’t know how to handle it. When it came down to it, there were times in which she were nothing more than a china doll waiting to break. 

There were many instances in which that they had helped each other. Louise always had her back whenever Tammy was being a bitch to her or wanted to ruin her life, and Tina made sure to be there for Louise when she was starting to get out of control. Seeing her now though, how far gone she had gotten, Tina felt like she had let her down, like she should have been there to help her and she failed as a big sister to her. 

“What do you want me to do?” She inquired, desperate. 

“Just come and get us if you hear anything about dad. I’ll be in Gene’s room,” she informed her before turning and leaving. 

Tina thickly swallowed as she watched her walk away. Her mind racing as she tried to figure out why Danny sounded familiar to her. There was some other time that the name was mentioned, an important time. It had to have been when she was little. 

For some reason, she kept thinking back to the night that her parents woke her up with their fighting. They weren’t really fighting, but they were loud and it sounded like they were upset. She sat there in the dark, clinging onto her stuffed pony under her blanket. She wasn’t really scared, but confused. It worried her. There was something very wrong, but she wasn’t sure what it was. 

Sighing, she sat back in her chair. Maybe it was better that she didn’t know. There was already so much going on, it wasn’t like she needed something else to worry about. Plus, there was something so bleak about the statement. It seemed as though it didn’t matter. Knowing wouldn’t change anything. Perhaps none of it mattered.

oooooo

Linda stood in the doorway, looking in on Gene. He was different this time, more peaceful than she had recalled. She was viewing him in a different light. As she finally forced herself further into the room, she came to the realization that nothing about him had changed. It had all been in her mind, she finally pushed herself to accept the fate that could be taking hold of him, snatching her baby away from her prematurely. Coming up to the side of the bed, that peace was replaced by a self loathing so powerful she had to fight the urge to vomit right there. 

“I love you,” she announced, more to remind herself as now she figured her words were falling on deaf ears. 

“I don’t want to give up on you,” she started, her words beginning to get caught in her throat. 

“I know.” 

Linda turned to see Louise standing in the doorway. As much as she loved her daughter and wanted to be able to help her, she just couldn’t do it right now. It was nearly impossible to muster the strength to keep herself going through the night, there was no way that she would be able to sit there and attempt to be strong for her. Besides, all she could see in her was the reminder of how much of a failure she was as a mother. Those words she spat, they were all true and there was no getting around that, no matter what the intent. 

“Not now,” she flatly responded, looking back to her son. 

The coldness struck Louise, a blow to the heart that she deserved, but a blow nonetheless. “I didn’t mean it, okay? I’m sorry.” 

Linda sharply exhaled, eyes closing for a second. She couldn’t do this. This was it, this was her breaking point and she had to take it out on someone. Even before she acted, she regretted it, but it had to be done or else she was going to implode on herself. 

“Stop it!” She harshly snapped, jumping up from her spot on the bed. “Do you have any idea what you said? You told me out there that I failed as a mother and that I basically killed my sons! You can’t just say things like that! Especially right now!” 

“And you and dad can’t just give up!” Louise argued, tears of anger starting to travel down her cheeks. Her fists were clenched at her sides as her face began to turn red. “I mean, how would you like it if we all just gave up on you? We just left you outside somewhere and never came back for you because we decided that you cost too much money?” 

“You don’t understand!” Linda snapped. 

And really, it was asking a lot to expect a little girl to fully understand the circumstances. She wasn’t there when Danny was sick, she didn’t see how it hurt everyone involved. She’s not the one who has to go out and earn the money and fully understand the consequences that could follow. She isn’t the one who has to sit down and move money around and figure out how to pay the bills and worry about what happens if there’s one minor slip up. And most of all, she’s not the one that has to carry around the burden of keeping a family together. It’s not her job to be strong and put the pieces back together. 

Even if Gene survived, there was going to be a lot of work. In Louise’s mind, everything would be fine once Gene got back home. That was far from the truth though. She wasn’t considering that maybe some people knew too much now and that people had been hurt in this whole process. Then there was the fact that Gene would probably need to continue receiving medical care after all of this. He wouldn’t be able to do whatever he wanted whenever for a long while. And even if he could, she would be too paranoid to allow him to do too much. 

Now, she might actually have to end up doing all of this herself. Bob might not come home. Linda would be left to find a way to pay for everything, she would be left to make sure that Tina and Louise were doing okay. Everything would be on her. Of course, if she had to, she would go to hell and back for her kids, but it was an awful lot to be taking in right now and she wasn’t so sure she could make it through the night without breaking. 

“Maybe I don’t wanna understand!” She argued. As soon as the words left her mouth, her whole demeanor dropped, hands relaxed. Tears fell freely from her eyes. “I don’t want to lose everyone,” she whimpered before turning and starting out the door. 

Louise had said way too much for her own comfort. Feeling somewhat ashamed of her own vulnerability, she had to get out of there. Yet, there was a small portion of her that knew it didn’t matter. Everything around her was going to hell, what did she care what people saw? It wasn’t like it was going to make a difference. 

“Louise! Wait,” Linda called out after her. 

Those words awoke something within her, igniting the fear that she had harboured her entire life. She herself had always been afraid of losing everyone. That was the basis for her relationship with Hugo, the reason that she almost went through with the marriage. It was the reason she pushed so hard at times to be included in her children’s lives. 

It broke her heart to know that Louise was experiencing that same thing. It was something she had suspected for a while, that she would grow up the same way and latch onto someone down the road. Now though, it was presented to her in such a way that it was a slap in the face. Clearly she hadn’t given her enough evidence to prove to her that maybe she wouldn’t have to be alone if things went south, that she wasn’t about to just leave her and Tina to go grieve. 

Getting to her feet to go after her daughter, she took one last glance at Gene and sighed. “At least one kid doesn’t know what’s going on,” she muttered before taking off after Louise. 

Gene lay there in the empty room, only bits and pieces of the conversation sinking into his mind. Even if he wasn’t completely conscious, he had an idea of what was happening around him. A small idea on a subconscious level.

~

The band started to play, a guitar roaring through the silence as the audience held up lighters to illuminate the room. Gene stood there in the middle of the stage, wearing a black tee shirt and pants, Louise’s bunny ears on his head. Wide eyes scanned the crowd, trying to figure out what was happening. 

The music slowed, an organ and a set of violins playing a bittersweet melody as Darryl came out onto the stage. There was a spotlight following him as he moved towards Gene. Jimmy Jr. and Peter Pescadero emerged from the darkness, wearing tuxedos and ballet shoes as they danced towards him, stopping on either side of him. 

_“Bye bye life_  
_Bye bye happiness_  
_Hello loneliness_  
_I think I’m gonna die_  
_I think I’m gonna die.”_

Gene sang out into the crowd, his eyes wide with fear and confusion as he tried his hardest to figure out what was happening. He wanted to look over and see the two dancing beside him, but he was in too much shock to even consider moving. 

The music began to pick up again. Louise appeared in the crowd, dressed in all black with her hair down, no hat. She wore black sunglasses over her expressionless face, a briefcase beside her. 

_“Bye bye love_  
_Bye bye sweet success_  
_Hello emptiness_  
_I feel like I could die.”_

Darryl came out before him, all too happy for his liking. It was eerie how into the song he was. Like this was his big debut or something. 

_“Bye bye your life goodbye.”_

A visibly pregnant Linda sat out in the crowd, looking to Hugo who sat beside her, holding her hand. They both looked extremely happy. It caused a small wave of jealousy to rush over him as he stood there, staring. 

He scrambled around to see if he could find his father. And he did find him, but not the way that he wanted. Bob stood at the back of the room, a gun at hand as he glared. A small whimper was emitted before taking the microphone from Darryl. 

_“Bye bye my life goodbye.”_

Gene’s voice screeched with the words. Tina quickly scurried across the stage, not even stopping to acknowledge him. 

“Wait!” He called out after her to no avail. 

_“Bye bye your life goodbye.”_

Darryl cozied up to him, still all too gleeful for his liking. That only took a second of his attention however, as he noticed Louise off in the corner on a walkie talkie. Even though he couldn’t see her eyes, he knew there was something wrong. 

_“There goes his family_  
_With someone new_  
_They sure look happy.”_

He saw out in the audience, Linda and Hugo still together, this time with a baby stroller. Their arms were linked as she held onto the handles. They were smiling, eerily happy. Bob wasn’t too far behind them, just watching. 

Darryl took the microphone and shoved it in Gene’s face. 

_“I sure am blue.”_

Darryl took the mic back and went off to join Jimmy Jr. and Peter in dancing, the trio moved to the front of the stage and pushed Gene to the back. 

_“He sure is blue.”_

Darryl’s tone had been all too cheery this entire time, but it was only made worse when the other two decided to join in. Gene slowly backed away from the group until he hit Tina, causing him to wheel around. 

“Sorry,” Tina said before turning and walking further back with with Zeke. 

_“Bye bye life_  
Bye bye happiness  
Hello loneliness.”

Bob stepped towards Linda who shot him a bittersweet glance. There was blood on the man’s hands that they both seemed to ignore. She reached back, blood also on her hands, but Hugo pulled her away. Bob reached over and finally grabbed hold of her hand, but the connection only lasted a second. 

_“I think he’s gonna die.”_

Out in the audience there stood what looked like Bob’s mother, at least from what he had seen in a few pictures, a young girl who looked an awful lot like Tina but somehow more like Bob, and then a boy version of Tina as a toddler. All three stood there, sullen. Bob and Linda paused to look over to them, guilt ridden. 

_“I think he’s gonna die.”_

Louise lunged forward from her spot, racing Linda to the outlet where a random chord was currently plugged in. They each grabbed it and started fighting over it, Louise being the one to keep constantly making sure that it was remaining plugged. 

_“I think he’s gonna…”_

Darryl’s tone slowed and everyone in the room paused. Everyone one turned to look to Gene, despaired. 

_“Die.”_

The room went black save for the spotlight on Gene. All he could hear was the sound of his own breathing. Suddenly, he was all alone. Part of him began to wonder if this is what death felt like, loneliness. 

“Eugene?” 

Gene quickly turned around. That had been the first time that he had been called that in years. As a matter of fact, the only time that he could recall anyone using his full name like that was back when he was five, he had shown Louise how to start the grill, or at least what he thought was starting the grill. Eugene Allen Belcher. 

“Who are you?” 

Behind him stood a lady dressed in all white, her dress long and flowy, her blonde hair pulled back into a bun. She seemed happy, not like Darryl and the others had been, but in a more genuine way, as if she had some good news to share. 

“Who do you think I am?” She sweetly questioned. 

“The woman from Tootsie?” He asked, beginning to grow excited as he focused his attention on something other than the fact that he had no idea what was happening. 

“Yes,” she replied. 

Gene’s eyes widened, his mouth falling agape as he took a step towards her. “Dustin Hoffman?” 

 

The woman laughed. “No, the other one.” 

“Oh,” he replied. 

Her presence calmed him, and he wasn’t sure why. She was nice and welcoming. She was everything that a stranger shouldn’t be, familiar in all the right ways. He felt as though he truly knew her, knew her name, what she liked to do, her favorite color. Yet, he couldn’t answer any of those questions. 

“Why are you here?” 

“To help you move on whenever you’re ready.”

Her words confused him, and should have put him on edge more than they had. There was something wrong with what she had said, and he could sense it. He just did not care. Everything was so bleak now anyways, and he had this feeling that he was being abandoned. Maybe it would be better to move on. 

“What happens when I move on?” He asked, slightly worried. 

“I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have those questions,” she answered, her smile fading and slowly being replaced by a look of pity. 

Gene moved his focus to the bright light behind her, watching in awe. There was something attractive about, pulling him towards it like a magnet. Yet, he knew he didn’t belong there, he knew that no matter how close he got to it, he wouldn’t be apart of it yet. It was like watching a party on tv. You could make your way over to the set, you could touch the screen and make commentary on what’s happening, but there’s no real way that you can truly be present right there. 

“Are you sure I’m not ready?” 

The angel just smiled to him, deciding it better not to voice her answer.


	10. Principle of Uncertainty (Part II)

Chapter 10: Principle of Uncertainty (Part 2) 

As she walked down the halls in search of her daughter, she wasn’t even sure whether or not she wanted to find her. She needed to know where she was, but she didn’t want to talk to her right now. Emotions were too high, things were too chaotic, and she had every worse case scenario running through her mind. 

The conversation she was about to have was not going to be easy. She was going to tell her the details of what was happening, everything that she wanted to hear: the truth. There was a pretty big chance that after Louise heard everything she’d regret asking, but she couldn’t stand the thought of her thinking she was being shoved away from everyone because she didn’t know what was really happening. She told her herself that she didn’t want anymore false hope. 

The second she caught sight of her, sitting outside of her father’s room on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, she paused. Her world was falling apart around her, and that meant that her entire family’s lives were all crumbling around them too. She had to keep in mind that a child would have no idea how to deal with that and that she would have to set aside her own feelings for a little while, no matter how hard it was. 

“Hey sweetie,” she gently started. 

Louise looked up to her, wiping away at the tears to try and hide the fact that she had been crying. “What do you want?” She sniffled. 

“Ya mind if I sit down?” She asked, as she went to sit beside her. 

Louise didn’t even bother to glance at her. All she wanted was to get this over with and move on. She wanted to go home and curl up in bed and try to sleep. At least if she were in her room she could try and pretend that her dad was just down in the restaurant working late and that Gene had just fallen asleep already in his room. She never fully believed herself when she tried to do that, but it was nice to think that the little delusion she was trying to create might be possible. 

“The truth is, I don’t know,” Linda sighed. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I don’t know what I’m going to do if your father dies or if Gene dies, or if both die. I have no idea how I’m going to support you kids or how I’m even going to get through the nights alone. If Gene does live, he might need special care for the rest of his life, same with Bob. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for any of that. And the person that shot your father is still out there, possibly wanting all of us dead. And getting help might involve getting arrested.” 

That was the first time that she had gotten the chance to voice her concerns. It didn’t do anything, but it still helped, making her feel as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. 

“I’m scared to death and I have no idea what I’m gonna do,” she admitted. 

Never had she felt so hopeless. All she wanted to do was cry, but the tears didn’t even seem to want to come. Linda was too emotionally drained to react to anything properly. Her head went back to lean against the wall, her eyes closing for a moment. 

“This is the worst part though, I can tell ya that,” Linda added, trying to offer some comfort. “That’s how it was with Danny. Every time we came to the hospital I would worry about handling this and that. It’s the uncertainty that kills you. Because once you actually get there, you handle it better than you’d think.” 

Louise looked over to her. The things she just heard, they should have scared her. Her words should have struck some nerve, but they didn’t. Somehow, it was everything she had already known and she was okay with hearing it. In a way, she was oddly relieved to know that she wasn’t being dragged along in this fight to pretend that everything was going to be okay no matter what. She was able to finally start bracing herself for the worst. 

“We could move, pay off some guy to give us all fake IDs, change our names. Tina and I will help with the funeral. I’ll get a job as soon as I can, but it’ll be a few years.” 

Louise didn’t really know if she believed any of that would work And she didn’t think her having a job would help all that much. She mainly just wanted to prove that she wouldn’t break and that she would help. 

The line of suggestions took Linda by surprise. She didn’t think that Louise would just get up and walk away, but she did not expect the support she’d just received. They couldn’t be used, and Louise most likely wouldn’t be able to help her go through with those tasks if it came down to it. That wasn’t what mattered though. It was the sentiment behind the words, the fact that she wanted to show her she cared. That was the important part and it helped her more than the child would ever know. 

“Thank you honey,” she weakly stated, trying her best to give her a smile. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, alright? Let’s just take everything as it comes.” 

There was something else that had been bothering Louise, something that she wanted to know. What if this happened to Tina too? What if something happened to Linda? She wanted to know what she would have to do at that point. It just wasn’t the right time to ask though, so she bit her tongue and sat back against the wall. 

“Okay,” she replied, defeated. 

Maybe it was best to just try to not think. To just try and forget the rude awakening, the cruel reminder that anything could happen at anytime and that you could lose someone in seconds. Danny was the perfect example, he died and no one mentioned him ever, there were no pictures on the walls. He might as well have never existed. To Louise, that was scariest lesson to learn, that after you die, there really could be nothing left. She wouldn’t just be losing a brother or a father, but everything that came with their presence, the simple little reminders that they were once alive. 

“Do you have any pictures of Danny?” She blurted out. It might not have been the right time to ask, but she at least wanted some assurance that her parents didn’t try to completely forget about him. 

Linda didn’t even stop to question why she’d asked. There was one that she carried around with her, secured in a wallet flap that she kept in her pocket. 

“Yeah,” she answered, retrieving the item. “It’s the last picture we got of him before he got real sick.” 

Louise took the picture and studied it. It was worn, one of the corners folded, the color slightly faded. Linda sat there, her arms wrapped around Danny’s body as he stood in front of her, laughing. It looked as though she were saying something to him. Bob sat beside her, staring the camera, it was clear the flash had took him by surprise. 

“Wow,” Louise replied, not sure of what else to say. 

Linda nodded, her eyes glued to the picture. “That’s one of the only ones of all three of us,” she mentioned. 

Louise didn’t even respond. It was weird, looking in apart of something she didn’t even think existed. There was another member of their family that had been kept secret. And the entire time, her mom had been carrying around photographic proof and no one noticed. There were times in which her and her siblings would go through their parent’s room looking for gifts and such, and never once found a trace of Danny. The lengths they had gone through to try and keep him from coming up in conversation were somewhat impressive, if not sickening. 

“Your dad named him, I wanted to name him Jamie, but he just couldn’t allow that to happen,” Linda added. 

“Jimmy was already across the street?” Louise flatly questioned. 

“Yeah,” she answered, a small smile finally tugging at her lips. “I knew he wanted to name him Danny. I didn’t much care for the name, but it was sweet. I couldn’t be too mad at him.” 

Linda just looked to the picture, a small bit of happiness filling her heart as she remembered. It was a tiny distraction from the storm raging around her. It had been so long since she really took that picture out and looked at it. All this time she had been afraid to see his little smile, scared of how it would affect her. Turns out it was something she’s needed for a while now. 

Oooooo

Tina walked down the hall, trying to remember that night, what the fight had been about and why she had been scared. There were a lot of things that she had faint little pieces of, times where Louise was sick at night, times where she would have to stay with relatives or have Mort come over and watch them. There was a time period in which things were weird, people were missing, mainly her parents. 

Everything was starting to come back to her. It was surprising how much she could recall when she tried, the nights where she would wake up and freak out because she had lost her pony, coming home from school and Gene greeting her with an attack hug, just random bits and pieces of her life. 

She was supposed to have stayed back in the waiting room just in the nurse came with some news, but all of these new little fragments of images were troubling her. Something about what Louise said had triggered all these little meaningless pictures, things that she hadn’t thought about in years. She felt as though she couldn’t rest until she figured out what it was she was trying to remember. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Tina stopped in her tracks, looking over her shoulder. She knew who it was before she looked, but it was so shocking to hear such a familiar voice in a place like this. 

“Hey Jocelyn,” she flatly greeted, turning to fully face her. 

Her and Jocelyn weren’t the greatest of friends, but she was a lot nicer to her than Tammy was. They never had any real issues with each other. They just never really talked. Now however, any form of meaningless small talk was welcomed. She needed a small distraction to keep from going insane. 

“My step dad’s getting operated on,” she explained. “He has like a gall bladder or something.” 

“I see,” Tina replied. 

“I know, it’s gross right?” She asked. “So what are you doing here?” 

“Oh uh, same,” she answered, hoping that Jocelyn wouldn’t stop think about it. 

“Oh my God, I’m so glad I’m not the only one,” she stated. 

“Yeah, it’s, not,” Tina quietly started, but decided that it wasn’t worth trying to explain. The last thing she needed was for Jocelyn to go back to school and start telling others about what was happening. 

“Are you staying here all night?” Tina asked, wanting to change the subject. 

“No, my mom just wants to stay until the surgery’s done and then we’re gonna go get Chipotle to celebrate,” Jocelyn answered.

“Hey Tina!” 

Tina twirled around to see Zeke and Jimmy Jr. walking up towards her. Part of her was glad to see Zeke there, but Jimmy Jr.? He wasn’t supposed to be there, he wasn’t even supposed to know anything was wrong, although considering his brothers were in Louise’s grade, they all probably already sensed something. 

“Hey Zeke,” she nervously greeted, then turned to his friend. “Jimmy Jr.” She coldly said. 

“Hey Tina,” he awkwardly replied. 

“Oh my God, do your dad’s have gall bladders too?” Jocelyn questioned. 

“What?” Jimmy Jr. asked. 

“No they don’t,” Tina explained for them. 

“Oh,” Jocelyn stated. 

Zeke went ahead and stepped forward towards Tina and grabbed her arm. He had known that something must have been wrong when she wasn’t answering her phone and she wasn’t home. She had told him everything that had happened and decided to go looking for her. He and Jimmy Jr had been out for a few hours already, this was one of their last attempts at finding her. 

Now that he knew where she was, he wanted to pull her aside and see if everything was okay. Finding her should have offered some relief, but seeing her here only made him more nervous. Clearly she wasn’t the one in need of medical attention, but there could be someone after her family, something could have went wrong with Gene. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

Tina could see the genuine concern in his eyes, it was comforting to finally have that from someone who wasn’t involved, who wasn’t too busy to stop and see if she was okay. She didn’t even say anything, she just leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. 

“You want to come back with me? The four of us could have some fun. I have some stuff that might take your mind off of things,” Zeke offered. 

“Okay,” Tina whimpered, her voice muffled by his jacket. 

“Come on guys! Let’s go back to my place!” Zeke called out. 

He then pushed Tina back away from him, his hands still firmly on her shoulders. “You okay with that? If not, we’ll blow ‘em off. No big deal.” 

“It’s fine,” she sniffled. “Let’s just go.” 

She actually did want everyone there. It would keep her from wanting to talk about everything, it would give her the best distraction that she could get right now. And Jocelyn and Jimmy Jr were two people that she hadn’t really talked to in a long while. It would be nice to catch up with them, sort of. 

“Alright! Let’s go have ourselves a party!” Zeke announced, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and beginning to guide her down the hall. 

Oooooo

The four teenagers sat down in the basement of Zeke’s home. Smoke filled the air as some guitar solo dragged on from low quality speakers. Jimmy Jr. and Jocelyn sat on the couch as she shared a cozy chair with Zeke, each of them with half filled beer bottles in their hands. The others were talking about something, but she wasn’t sure of what it was, her mind was too hazy to comprehend. 

The intoxication was comforting. It offered a sense of nihilism, a reminder of how small she was in this nonsensical equation. She was nothing more than that fifth number after the decimal point that could be dropped. Most people would have an issue with that realization, but to her it meant that she could do anything and it wouldn’t matter. The end of her path would be the same as everyone else’s, death. That was it. 

“If death didn’t exist do you think we would do absolutely nothing because we’d know that tomorrow’s guaranteed?” 

“Whoa,” Jimmy Jr. replied, staring wide eyed as he began to fully consider everything she’s said. 

“I’ll take that,” Zeke said as he reached over and took the bottle from her. He knew that wasn’t the exact cause of her thought process, but it couldn’t be helping. 

“One time my grandma told me that you never really die if you live in people’s memories,” Jocelyn stated. “I don’t think that’s possible yet since we can’t live in brains, but it might work someday. I don’t know, she was on a lot of pain meds too.” 

Tina just looked to her, knowing there was some truth behind what she was saying. She began to wonder who that was supposed to comfort. The person facing death? Sure people will remember them, but it doesn’t really keep them alive. And it wasn’t all that comforting to the people losing someone. If anything, the memories seemed more toxic to her. The memories were going to be the reason her family fell apart, the reason her parents would never truly move on from Gene, and the very reason she herself would be forgotten. 

She was already being shoved off to the side. Linda and Louise were still back at the hospital, probably. There was a chance they knew of her absence, but it weren’t as though Linda were making the effort to keep track of her. They were both too busy falling apart to really notice what was happening. Now they also had secrets apparently. Then Bob was always gone, always stressed. 

The real twist of the knife was the fact that everyone was there for Bob and Linda. They made damn sure to take care of each other in the best way they could. They never told anyone what was happening with Gene, and no one asked, but people were figuring it out. In turn, others would give them discounts on things and make sure not to mention Gene to them, to respect their wishes. She could see the pity in their eyes every once in while when certain people would pass by the restaurant. Even Jimmy was making sure to bite his tongue a little. 

When they were done keeping each other in check, Louise was the next in line. Everyone worried about her, even she was extremely worried about her. She was very vulnerable and she had a way of escalating things. So she understood why her parents wanted to keep a close eye on her. 

But what about her? Bob and Linda had apologized to her and Linda did try and make up for the neglect. It just hurt that it was still something that was happening. She wasn’t even mad, just upset. It was making her feel like she was the only one that didn’t matter in any of this. 

“Like a ghost that won’t let you sleep at night,” Tina stated. 

“Everything alright, Tina?” Jimmy Jr. asked. 

“I don’t know,” she honestly answered. 

Zeke slowly reached over to Tina’s pocket and retrieved her cell phone. He wasn’t wanting to get rid of her, but he thought that maybe she needed her mom to come get her. Things were worse for her than he knew and he just didn’t see himself as being one to help. 

“Hey, I gotta use the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” he said, assisting her off his lap. 

As soon as he was out of earshot, he took the phone and started going through her contacts until he found her mom. Something was wrong and he clearly wasn’t the one to be handling this right now. 

“Hey, Mrs. B? You might wanna come and get your daughter,” he said as quietly as he could get away with. 

Oooooo

Linda walked her daughter up the stairs, making sure to hold onto her shoulders and keep her from falling. It took everything within her to keep from screaming at the girl, asking her what the hell she thought she was doing. The only reason she wanted to restrain herself was that she knew why, she knew exactly why she had done what she did and she knew that if it weren’t for her and Louise she would be out doing the same thing. That, and the fact that if Linda had been paying more attention, Tina wouldn’t had gone, she wouldn’t have needed to. 

Everything lately seemed to be her fault. Maybe there wasn’t an exact problem here, perhaps it was just her that was the issue. She was the one missing signs in her children, not knowing when to take one to the hospital, not knowing when the other one isn’t even there. Her husband could be dying and she would have no idea who did it or why. She was allowing her entire family to fall apart around her. 

“Come on, Tina, just a few more steps sweetie,” she urged her. 

“Uh, mom? Maybe we oughta get her to the bathroom,” Louise suggested, seeing Tina begin to heave. 

Linda quickly caught what Louise was saying and hastened her pace. “Alright, Tina! Come on!” 

Louise slowed as she watched her mom rush her sister into the bathroom and shut the door. She could hear Tina getting sick and Linda trying to soothe her. It was a surreal thing, the scene before her. Tina wasn’t like this, she didn’t go out and do this sort of thing. But here she was, doing everything no one ever thought she would, just like the rest of them. 

Tina was the one that Louise thought would be okay. She was the one that was supposed to not break, the one that was supposed to stay good and not resort to just not caring. It was jarring in a way to see her act out like this. 

She went and sat down on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. There was no real way for her to process everything that had happened, everything that she had heard. All she knew was that things were going to be different, and she was going to have to accept that no matter what. Whether both family members got to return home or neither of them, there would be changes. 

In a way, she had gotten to the point where she welcomed change. Everything had been so sad lately, so depressing and discouraging. It was getting harder to remember exactly how things were before all of this happened. 

Linda walked into the dark room, pausing a second to decide whether or not she should tend to Louise or go back and check up on Tina who was most likely passed out by now. 

“You okay?” 

“Sure,” Louise responded. 

She didn’t even know if she was okay. What was okay anyhow? Holding yourself together? Having a positive outlook? Truly believing that things might be okay sometime soonish? Or was it simply existing in such a way that you weren’t entirely broken enough to simply stop? 

Linda went and sat down beside her, blankly staring. “Thanksgiving’s soon.” 

“I know,” Louise replied, not sure what to say to that. 

It was something that had been on both of their minds. In two weeks they should be gathering around the table, pretending to care as much about the day as Bob does. It was going to be especially hard on him, not being able to really celebrate, knowing that his son should be there. It was concerning. 

“What are we gonna do?” Louise questioned. 

“I don’t know,” Linda reluctantly answered. 

“Linda Danielle Belcher and Norma Louise Belcher,” Tina called out as she stumbled into the room. After she had been sent to bed, she couldn’t allow herself to sleep it off. She was too worked up from earlier and needed some answers before she lost it. 

Louise carefully watched her sister as she made her way to the bookshelf where she steadied herself. “Hey, maybe you oughta cool down a bit there,” she suggested. 

“No!” Tina argued. “I have some questions and I want you to answer those questions.” 

“Sweetie, I…” Linda started, slowly beginning to stand and approach her. 

“Who was Danny?” Tina demanded, cutting her off. 

She didn’t care to hear about how she should calm down or how she didn’t need to know. That was done and over with. There was something there, something she could barely remember and it was disturbing her, confusing her and making her question things. It was also one of the subjects separating her from everyone else here and she wasn’t about to put up with that anymore. 

Linda sighed. She never acknowledged it, but she knew that this day would come, where eventually everyone would know what happened. It wasn’t realistic to think you could simply erase the existence of someone. And in a way, she was glad that her children were finding out, that way the memory of their sibling would live on. He wouldn’t be this secret they kept locked away in the closet. 

“I’ll tell you about Danny, okay? Just not right now, you’re too upset and a little too drunk.” 

“No!” Tina argued as she slightly backed away from her mother. “I’m tired of being the only one not knowing stuff. I mean I’m pretty sure I’m the only one here who can’t play an instrument but this is different. You two are excluding me because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Tina wobbled a tiny bit as she pushed herself away from the bookcase and stepped forward. “I just wanna be included,” she added, her voice small and fragile. 

“He’s our brother,” Louise said, making sure to answer before Linda. 

Linda didn’t want to tell her about Danny, and she understood why, but she couldn’t stand to see Tina this way. Besides, she hated keeping that sort of secret, it felt as though she were ashamed of him, and she didn’t even know him. 

Linda glanced back to Louise. She wasn’t mad at her, but she really did not want that coming out tonight. She wasn’t in the right mindset to talk about it and Tina wasn’t even near the right place to hear it. 

“What?” Tina asked, not even sure she heard Louise correctly. 

Silence fell over the three of them as Linda and Louise both searched for the correct words, the best way to go into detail about everything that happened. Both of them were afraid to tell her certain details about the whole thing, the whens and whys. Tina was in a rather fragile state and this was possibly too much for her, she would take in the information in the wrong way and draw all the wrong conclusions. 

“Mom?” She asked, turning to Linda. 

“Daniel Jamie Belcher. He died when he was two,” she explained. 

“When did he die?” 

Linda sighed, her shoulders falling. Telling her that he died fourteen years ago wasn’t going to be so bad, not until Tina started asking questions. That was the part that she wanted to avoid. “He died right before you were born, sweetie,” she gently answered. 

Tina just stood there for a second, not truly processing the fact that she was hearing about a dead sibling. It just didn’t feel so serious, so real yet. She never knew him, so there was no real attachment and she wasn’t sober enough to feel the full effect of the news. 

“How?” She questioned, her voice sounding less severe now that she was finally getting some answers. 

“I’m not sure. The doctors never found the exact cause,” she explained. “He uh, he was going through the same thing that Gene’s going through right now.” 

That was the second that all three felt a small chill in the air. It was something that had been stuck in the back of Louise’s head ever since she’d heard what happened, but she never wanted to say it out loud, nor had she heard it stated just like that. It hit her weird, more harshly than she originally expected. 

“Gene’s gonna die?” 

Linda hesitated to answer. She had just gotten done fighting with Bob over pulling the plug and she wasn’t sure she was ready to have this discussion all over again. At the same time, there was still that glimmer of hope, that feeling that they might be able to celebrate Christmas with him this year. Letting go of that optimism would be hard, and telling Tina the truth felt as though someone were tugging it away from her, forcing her to accept what could be sooner than she had anticipated. 

Then again, she wasn’t all that sure how she felt anymore. Sometimes she was sure she was as prepared as she could be for the worst, others she felt numb, then other times she felt as though there was no way that Gene couldn’t come home. It was all so back and forth, it was beginning to drive her insane. 

“I don’t know,” she replied. 

“How long did Danny live before dying?” Tina cried, starting to panic. 

The question was harder to answer than it should have been. So much had gone on - the complications prior to the coma, the on and off illnesses that seemed to linger, the multiple trips to the emergency rooms. 

“He never was healthy,” she answered, her eyes beginning to water. “We ended up pulling the plug on him after he’d been in a coma for months.” 

“That doesn’t help!” 

So what if he was never healthy? So what if he was doomed to die quickly? That didn’t mean that Gene would be fine. What mattered was how long he was able to live comatose before succumbing to what it was that eating away at him. How long did they have before they had to give up hope? How much time did she have to prepare? To brace herself for the very worst? 

“It means Danny had a higher chance of dying!” Louise interjected. The more she thought about it, the more that she herself saw a true difference. She had caught a few exchanged phrases between her parents, how rough things were right away, how Linda was surprised she managed to not miscarry him. “It means it’s not the same.” 

Danny had a higher chance of dying. Those were the exact words Bob had used when she had been feeling guilty. 

Hearing them didn’t change anything. It was just a fact, like telling someone that fire is hot and water is wet. However, knowing that fire is hot shouldn’t keep you from saving your child from a burning building. And yet, that was supposed to comfort her? Knowing there was a reason to give up? Being told that he might have died anyways? No, that wasn’t how this worked. 

If Danny had died on his own, then he died. That would have been it. It still would have hurt and she still would have never gotten over it, but at least she would have some comfort in knowing that she wasn’t the one who killed him, that they tried and they gave him the time he needed. This though, this wasn’t fair. 

“I’m trying to tell you that he didn’t die! I pulled the plug! We didn’t have the money and I couldn’t handle it anymore! We had one kid getting ready to die and another on the way! I didn’t know what to do so I gave up and killed him, alright? I killed him!” 

Linda was about to get all worked up, anger pulsing through her veins, her face hot and red. But the rush was just that, a quick crash of the emotions that swept through, leaving her tired. 

“I killed him,” she flatly repeated. 

Tina froze, watching as Linda just walked out of the room. She had turned into a zombie, moving as she had shut herself down and changed over autopilot. 

“I don’t think Gene’s gonna die,” Louise stated. 

She wasn’t sure why she said it. She herself was starting to try and get herself to accept the fact that he might not come home. In coming to terms with that, she had to convince herself that maybe his chances weren’t all that great. If they were, she wouldn’t need the preparation. There wouldn’t be this ominous feeling that fell upon her every time she passed his room. 

“Really?” Tina asked, quickly turning her attention to her sister. 

Louise hesitated before answering, thickly swallowing. “Yeah,” she forced herself to say. 

oooooo

A gun, a picture, and a baby’s hat. All three items were laid out before Linda as she sat on her bed, locked in her dark room. Silent tears fell from her eyes as she tried to stop thinking, to stop remembering. All she needed was some clarity of sorts, to know the reason that this was all happening. Everyone around her was suffering. 

Her eyes wandered to the picture. It was the one of her and Bob together outside the city hall, happily married. That was back during a time in which they had everything to look forward too, nothing bad had happened yet. They were still full of excitement and joy. Now all they had was this lurking feeling of doom with every choice they made, trying to weigh which consequences would be the easier ones to manage. 

Then again, things were never easy for them. The morning of their wedding was spent sitting in the bathroom, Bob trying to help her get ready as she was getting sick. He was holding back her hair for her and doing whatever he could to try and make her feel better as he continuously apologized to her because she wasn’t about to let anything stop them from getting married that day. Then that night she constantly reassured him that it was okay that they didn’t get a honeymoon, that they had to work that night. She made sure that he knew she loved him no matter what. That day was the summary of their entire marriage. Nothing ever went their way, but they got each other through it. 

Now though, she didn’t think she could do it without him. She would, because she would have too, she understood that, but it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that someone could just stroll into their lives and steal him away from her like that. Bob wasn’t pronounced dead yet, but her luck lately hadn’t been so good. 

There was this feeling that she couldn’t shake loose, something was wrong and she wasn’t sure what it was. There was this impending doom. It was quite possible that it was nothing, just paranoia setting in with everything that had been happening lately. However, there was a chance that it was something worse, something darker…

She didn’t want to go there right now, she couldn’t afford to. She was expecting a phone call from someone, waiting to hear about her options. All she wanted was to make sure that what happened to Bob wouldn’t happen to the kids. That was the priority. 

The second that the phone began to ring, she snatched it and answered. “What do you know?” She inquired, holding back the mixture of fury and desperation clawing at her skin, begging to be released. No matter what she was about to hear, she had promised herself that she wasn’t about to lose anyone else, more than enough had already been taken from her and she was going to be damned if anyone thought she was about to sit back and allow that bastard to think he could get away with this. 

Oooooo

Bob’s eyes fluttered open, the fluorescent lights from above blaring and burning. A slur of voices surrounded him. 

“We had no choice, Norma! We could have lost both of them!” 

Turning his head to the side, he saw a blurred image of his dad grabbing onto his mom’s shoulders. Norma was sobbing, Robert yelling. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew it was bad. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. 

“There’s always a choice,” she wept. 

Turning his head to the other side, he saw a path, a dirt road leading into a dark forest. His parents conversation grew less and less coherent as he sat up and focused onto the little boy. He looked a lot like Gene, yet a little more like Linda. He was smiling as he poked his head out from behind one of the trees. 

Hopping off the bed, he started towards the little boy, only to wind up chasing him. The further they went into the forest, the darker it grew. It wasn’t scary though, it was soothing. There wasn’t anything to fear. 

“Come on Daddy!” The little boy called out. 

Bob stopped dead in his tracks, his body going numb. He wanted to run to him, hug him as tightly as he could, he wanted to collapse and sob, he wanted to find a way to contact Linda so she could share in this, but he didn’t want to risk losing out on his chance. He wanted to do everything at once. 

As happy as he was to finally see Danny, all the guilt he had choked down years ago came back to the surface. Sure, he had some understanding that this wasn’t real, that Danny was dead, but it felt real and he couldn’t help but feel as though this was Danny’s way of coming back to him and making him face what he had done. 

“Don’t be sad, Daddy,” Danny said, his tone turning solemn as he slowly approached him. “It was just a game, I wasn’t really running from you.” 

“That’s right, I’m sorry,” Bob replied, still trying to sort everything out in his mind. 

“It’s kay, we can’t play anymore anyways,” Danny told him before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around him. “Marie says that you can’t join us yet.” 

Marie. She had been on his mind a lot lately, yet never discussed. She was the secret that he kept under lock and key, a name that could make him feel guiltier than ever, and quite honestly, the only reason he was alive. No one who knew her ever mentioned her around Bob. This was the first time in years he had heard anyone speak her name. 

“Yeah?” Bob questioned, attempting to keep his composure. “Did she say why?” 

Danny shrugged. “She said we’re too busy welcoming someone else. I think his name is Gene.” 

The second that Gene’s name had said, he began to tremble. They were welcoming Gene, they were taking him away from them. 

“What?” He would have shrieked, but his throat was too dry and tense, it came out more like a whimper. 

His fingers combed through his hair and took hold, eyes bulged as they began darting around and searching for some sort of proof that maybe Danny was wrong. He had no idea what exactly it was that he needed to see, but he was going to find it. 

“Hi dad!” 

Bob looked up and saw Gene standing in the distance with a little girl, waving at him. His heart skipped a beat. 

“NO!” He cried. 

“Gene!” He yelled as his eyes flew open. 

He wasn’t in the forest anymore, Danny was no longer with him. Bob was awake now. “Gene?” He called out, his heart pounding in his chest so harshly that he swore he could hear it.


	11. Principle of Uncertainty (part 3)

Chapter 11: Principle of Uncertainty (Part 3) 

Two Months Earlier

“Hey Chuck!” Mickey called over, oblivious to his wrong doings as he marched Bob over to him. 

Bob could see Chuck cringe at the volume of his voice. The fact that this was all starting off on such a bumpy note made him wonder if this was all a mistake. The way that Mickey had explained everything made it seem less illegal, less risky than it was. Now that he was here it was finally setting in just what it was that he had signed up for. 

“This is Bob,” he cheerfully introduced. 

He could see Chuck give him a once over, judge him a little. “Chuck,” he flatly replied. 

Bob offered his hand, but it was refused, leaving him to awkwardly retract his hand. The older man was rough looking, as though he had been a criminal most of his life. There was something nerve wracking about being in the same area as him. It felt as though he had already made his decision about Bob - that he didn’t like him.

Mickey looked between the two, finally sensing some tension. “I’m gonna let you two bond while I go over here and catch up with Roger.” 

Bob watched as Mickey left before turning his attention back to Chuck. “I just…” He awkwardly started. 

“You have a family,” Chuck quickly cut him off. “You’re a liability.” 

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. He knew that this was all very risky and that they couldn’t afford to have anyone accidently reveal their secret. Then again, he hadn’t given any of this much thought. To him, this was nothing more than a way to earn some extra money. 

“They don’t even know,” he assured him. 

Chuck sighed, rolling his eyes. “You have a family. Do you know what that means? It means you have a weak spot, something that an enemy could go after. If anything happens they’re going to go after the weakest person because they don’t have time to waste on men with nothing to lose. Apparently a gun to someone’s child’s head works better than any torture device out there. And as soon as that child ends up being that little girl of yours, you’re gonna tell everyone everything just to keep that bullet from entering her skull.” 

A chill crept down his spine as he listened to the older man speak. Every bad scenario that he could have imagined played through his head all at once. For a second, he was paralyzed, trying to process the complications that could occur. 

“That’s not very likely to happen, is it?” He squeaked a little as he asked. 

“Just don’t do anything stupid and no one has to worry.” 

Present Day 

Bob sat in the passenger seat, his arm bandaged and in a sling. He was bruised and battered, his wife still healing from a similar condition. He had been shot a week ago and was now starting to worry more and more about the family. 

There was something in Linda’s eyes when she came to see him right after he woke up. She looked tired, more so than ever. It was the same kind of defeat that he had seen when Danny had died, the same despair that lingered. It was evidence that her sanity was slowly slipping away from her. He needed to do something before he completely lost her. 

“This is my fault,” he muttered, aimlessly staring out the window. 

“What are you talking about?” Linda asked, glancing over at him, her brow knitted in confusion. 

“I should have been more careful about all of this and I should have told you everything,” he answered, not even able to turn and look at her. He was ashamed and guilty, he couldn’t stand to see the pain he had caused her any longer. 

After everything that had happened with Marie, and Danny, and then all the stuff that Chuck told him, he should have known. None of this was ever going to work, because of him they were all doomed from the start. 

“This is all because someone is mad at Chuck, alright? We’re gonna take care of this man and everything’s gonna be fine,” Linda tried to assure him. 

“So it was my fault.” That was all he had gathered from the situation - this was partially Chuck’s doing, and the only reason they were involved was because he was dumb enough to become a criminal. 

Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe he was over thinking everything right now. He sure didn’t feel as though he was, but it was still in the realm of possibility. Death had a way of stalking him, peeking around the corners in the dark. He could feel its eyes upon him, but he never knew quite where it was or when it would strike. Then out of nowhere, it would pounce on him, suffocate him with its own two hands and force him to witness the others around him fall. Yet, the entire time others were dying, he was the one with the hands clasped around his throat. Death always wanted him, always had a taste for him, but never got to take him. It almost felt as though a great being was settling for the lives of those he loved, allowing his suffering to take the place of his departure from this world. 

Normally a rational man, he found the whole thing concerning. Bob knew that it was an ailment that took everyone, a blood ailment. This wasn’t a curse of some type. But sometimes when he was alone, when the room got quiet enough to hear his own thoughts, he had to wonder. Could this be his penance for staying on this earth too long? For having all of the things that Marie should have by now? The second that she died for him, everything was different. 

Bob had never told Linda, it was the one big secret he’d kept from her this entire time. When Marie died, he had this feeling of doom. Something was wrong, his living wasn’t right and he was going to have to pay for the extra time he had bought and this was his bill - his family. 

“No Bob, if it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine. I was the one who went out with Adrian, I started everything,” she protested. 

“You shouldn’t have had to sink to that.” 

That statement, he knew for a fact was true. If he were a better provider she wouldn’t have had to sell herself. She wouldn’t have had to do anything to earn the extra money. Linda could have taken more care of Gene and kept an eye on Tina and Louise. Things wouldn’t be as out of hand as they were now. 

“Alright, that’s it,” Linda announced as she pulled off to the side of the road. 

“You sir, are putting way too much blame on yourself,” she began, turning off the ignition and facing him. “You are so quick to tell me that it’s your fault everything happened, yet I never hear you say anything about the man you killed to protect us, or the way that you gave up sleep so that Gene doesn’t get kicked out of his bed. Now stop trying to make yourself out to be the bad guy in all of this and let me take you home to rest,” she told him. 

Bob just watched her for a second knowing that there was no way that she could truly understand what it was that he was feeling guilty about, but he didn't want to explain it to her either. 

“Fine, let’s just go home.” 

“No Bob! It’s not fine!” 

Her cry of despair caught his attention, ripping his heart from his chest. It was such a sudden snap that it brought him out of his thoughts and back into the current situation, reminding him that he did in fact have to react to the most recent threat. 

“You’ve been different ever since you got shot. When I would come to visit, and now. All you do is stare and talk about how it’s all your fault. Well you can’t do this anymore, Bob! I need you to snap out of this!” 

Her reaction had taken him by surprise. He knew that this was all taking a toll on her, that much was obvious, but he never thought that his guilt would bring her down with him. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. 

Linda sighed, calming herself as she stared down to the steering wheel. She was broken, and it was his fault. Not only that, but he couldn’t seem to manage to be able to put the pieces back together. He couldn’t fix what he had broke. During his stay in the hospital, that little bit of information had become abundantly clear to him and it devastated him. He gave her the children she couldn’t keep. He caused her the pain he couldn’t erase. He set her up for failure without warning. 

“Let’s just focus on making sure that whoever it is that’s after me, that he gets taken care of,” he told her. He didn’t receive the reaction the reaction she gave him however. 

“I’ve already gotten it taken care of,” she flatly informed him. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, growing nervous. 

“I mean that I got it taken care of. I know what I’m going to do,” she explained, agitated. 

“Are we sure we’re both talking about the same thing?”

“Killing him, Bob! I’m going to kill him!” She snapped, looking to him with both an intensity and a vulnerability that terrified him. She was like a wounded animal, cornered and ready to bite mercilessly. “I’m not going to lose another member of this family because some asshole wants you dead! He can’t take you away from me! Maybe I couldn’t save Danny, and maybe I can’t save Gene, but I’m not losing you too.” 

“I guess we are,” Bob replied, awkwardly looking out through the windshield. “Do you, you have a plan already?” 

Linda relaxed a little, sitting back in her seat. “I do actually,” she told him. 

Bob just nodded, staring blankly ahead. “Alright then, looks like we’re going to kill another man.” 

Oooooo

Tina sat at her desk writing as Zeke laid on her bed, flipping through a random notebook he found, some of her Equestinauts fan fiction. 

“Uh, Tina?” He started to ask, looking up to her. 

Tina could hear the puzzlement in his tone and didn’t even bother to look back over her shoulder. “It’s fan fiction, Zeke, you wouldn’t understand.” 

“I’m not sure I want to,” he replied, holding the notebook sideways and examining the set of pages. 

Tina sighed, setting her pen onto the desk and turning around to face him. While she did enjoy his presence, she wasn’t sure that this was the best time to have him around. She was pretty well aware of what was going to happen in a few hours, she had overheard her parents talking, planning -- they were going out to kill someone tonight and things might go bad. 

“What do you do when you’re stressed?” She questioned. 

Zeke shrugged, still eyeing the notebook. “I don’t think I’ve been stressed,” he answered, preoccupied. 

“Oh,” she simply answered, not sure how to react. 

For some reason, she had gone this whole time thinking that maybe they had some sort of connection. Perhaps it had all been in her head, his understanding nothing more than a lie told to humor her. 

She turned back to the desk and pretended to continue writing. All she had been doing was mindlessly scribbling, but she needed to look busy, anything to avoid speaking for the next few moments as she scrambled to figure out what it was that she was doing with this boy. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset ya,” he told her. 

Zeke walked up behind her and turned the office chair so that they were facing each other. Tina really didn’t want to talk to him right now, but at the same time, she couldn’t be mad. He was there for her when no one else was, and he was trying to understand. 

“How about we go for a walk?” 

Tina nodded, even if she didn’t feel like doing much of anything, it might be nice to get out of the house. 

“Okay,” she replied. 

She stood and grabbed her coat. They both headed down the stairs together, hand and hand. Part of her wondered if the next time she took these stairs if she would still have parents. Louise herself had left earlier, and wasn’t planning on coming back until the morning, when someone picked her up and brought her back. She was over at Jessica’s, probably pacing the floor while her friend slept. 

“Maybe we could go to your place after,” she suggested. 

“Sure thing,” he replied, a little to happy for her liking. 

As they exited the building though, Tina noticed a parked car across the street. It was one that she hadn’t seen before, and normally there weren’t too many cars down here. Besides that, there was a man sitting inside, just staring. He was waiting for something. There was a sudden feeling of dread that crept down her spine. She had to get away as soon as she could, her pace hastened. 

“You okay, girl? You’re gripping awfully tight there,” Zeke questioned, softly laughing as he tugged at his hand. 

“No. I’m not,” Tina nearly snapped, her grip getting tighter as she lead him away. “We just need to get out of here, okay?” 

“Okay! Fine!” He quickly obliged. 

oooooo

Linda took a deep breathe as she strolled into the old warehouse. She knew what was before her, and part of her craved it -- the revenge, the satisfaction of knowing that she prove herself a worthy opponent and show the others to not mess with her. It was like when she was a child and had started throwing rocks at the cars that passed by, the ones that did not belong in her neighborhood. 

“Hookers, the only women that can handle having sex in these places, am I right?” she asked, forcing a small laugh as she examined the room. 

There was some tension, but she wasn’t nearly as nervous as she should have been. It felt too perfectly planned for anything to go wrong. Bob was right out in the hall with Chuck, the rest scattered throughout the building and the parking lot. She herself had a gun in her purse, loaded and ready to go. Besides that, the man didn’t seem to notice anything off about the whole scenario. 

“You ready to stop blabbering and get on with this?” Hank questioned as he stepped over to an old, torn bed and began removing his pants. “My wife’s expecting me in twenty minutes.” 

Linda thickly swallowed, gripping her purse strap as she took a few more cautious steps towards him. All she had to do was get him distracted, pull the gun out and shoot him. It sounded simple enough a few moments ago. Now though, something about it seemed complicated. In what event would he just turn around? She was a half dressed, pretty attractive woman, getting paid to do whatever he wants. Clearly he’s going to want to look at her. He’s going to want to pay attention to what she’s doing. 

“What did you want first?” She questioned. 

“The option that leaves your mouth too full for talking,” he snapped. “Now come on. I got things to get to today.” 

She just nodded as she hastened towards him. Carelessly, she tossed the purse onto the mattress and knelt down on the ground. It took her a second to lean in, but once she did, she began on him just like she would Bob. A little teasing, a little blowing, and eventually taking the tip into her mouth. 

Under most circumstances, she would be worried about the hygiene habits of this man. She would want to know where this thing had been in the past twenty four hours. Now though, as her family’s lives all depended on what happened tonight, she didn’t care. She could receive all the illnesses in the world and it would be okay. If that was what it took to fix this mess, then so be it. She was just so tired of hiding and fighting. 

Her eyes shut tightly as she wrapped her lips around his shaft. His moans filled the room, making her cringe. She had to keep focused though, she had to get him to such a point where the world could be ending outside and he would have no clue.

Once she felt him starting to tense, his moans growing louder, she grasped onto his back with one hand and started reaching for her purse with the other. He didn’t react as she clumsily dragged the gun out onto the mattress. He was beginning to climax as she began readying her weapon. And as soon he let out a scream of pleasure, she fired off her weapon. 

Then there was nothing but silence. 

Linda could hear herself breathing, a slight buzzing in the background. Everything was suddenly blurry. She could feel the body slouching over on her, pushing her down. As the body fell over, so did she, her head smacking against the cement floor. The body still lay on top of her. As she weakly attempted to move him, she could see blood dripping down her hand. Little red snakes making their way towards her down her forearm. She wanted to laugh, to scream, to cry, but nothing happened. Blackness started to form at the edges of her vision. Her arm fell, landing in a puddle of warm, sticky blood. And all too soon, her vision was gone, and so was her consciousness.


	12. Silence before the Storm

Chapter 12: Silence before the Storm

Silence surrounded her. First there was the gunshot and then the silence. There was nothing but the darkness isolating her. The blood dripped down her face and through her hair. It was warm and it tickled. Just before everything happened, she thought there would be pain, but there wasn’t. For the first time in a while she felt relief. It all only lasted a few seconds, but it was her exit from the bitterness, the loneliness, and the despair. There was peace at last. 

Two hours earlier

Tina lead Zeke down to the pier. It wasn’t her first choice, but there were people there, enough to make her feel somewhat comforted. And the breeze off the ocean was nice. She had begun heating up when she worried. 

“What has gotten into you?” Zeke questioned, pulling his hand away from her as they stopped. 

Tina ignored him, staring out to the water. It wasn’t as if she could stand there and publicly explain it for everyone to hear. 

“Someone’s going to get hurt tonight,” she flatly answered. 

There was some part of her that knew. It just wasn’t possible for things to go right for her family, and tonight that meant that not everyone would survive. It was only a matter of time before she got a call, before one of her parents gathered her and Louise into the living room to tell them that the other parent had been killed and that they would have to leave. Her life was spiraling downwards, the only direction she was familiar with anymore. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” she answered. 

He would find out soon enough, when she called him crying and telling him that they would have to move. They would have to go pretty far, stay off the grid for a while. The surviving parent might be arrested. They would have to go live with one of their grandparents. She had the next twenty years panned out for herself based off the worst case scenario. 

“Does that mean you want me to go?” He asked, not sure how to take her response. 

Tina turned and faced him, hesitating before she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss. “Yes,” she answered. “Only because I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“Do you at least want me to walk you back to your place?” He offered. 

“No, I’m fine.”

Zeke didn’t believe her. There was something wrong and he felt as though he needed to stay with her. Something was going to happen to her if she were alone, something awful. It was this nagging feeling of dread in his chest. 

“You really want me to leave?” 

“I really want you to leave,” Tina answered, beginning to head back towards her house. 

He decided to not follow her, that if she wanted to be alone that he had better leave her alone. It was one of the worst decisions he ever made. 

Present

“Now just leave her, okay? That’s perfect,” the man instructed, as the other positioned Tina on the couch. 

They had entered the house earlier after Tina had left with Zeke. They simply waited for their chance. The original plan was to wait for Bob and Linda, but this would have to do. Besides, this would send a much bolder message. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, it’s perfect. Now come on.” 

oooooo

Bob and Linda pulled up to the house. He had taken her to the hospital, told them they were at a party and she managed to slip and fall. The nurses and doctors were suspicious, but they got out of there without having to answer any questions. That was all that mattered. That and the fact that he gave them a false address and phone number. 

“Here, I’ll help ya,” he stated, getting out of the car before she even had a chance to take off her seat belt. 

“I’m fine! I promise!” 

Linda had been feeling this odd sort of rush ever since she killed the man. It wasn’t so much what she had done, it was mainly the fact that she felt she had made a true difference in her family’s safety. She had saved herself, her husband, and her children. It was the first thing she had done right this entire time. 

“It’s not even a concussion. The doctor said it might have been from stress,” she explained. 

Bob rolled his eyes, knowing full well that there must have been some damage done. She hit a concrete floor, not a soft carpet. “Just let me help,” he firmly requested. 

He walked over and grabbed her elbow, helping her to her feet. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Linda would make it up the stairs on her own, he just wasn’t in the position to risk it. Ever since they had gotten out of that place alive, there was something wrong, this feeling of dread that dwelled deep within him. It grew with every hour.

As they reached the door, it hit him. His life was about to be ruined, it was only a matter of time. Upon that feeling, he ushered Linda in front him, just in case she tripped on the stairs so he could catch her. Even once they made it up the hallway though, he still didn’t feel any relief. 

“Go ahead, I gotta stop and check the bedrooms,” he told her. 

Linda, figuring that as soon as he searched the place he could relax, started for the living room. There was a strong metallic smell, strong enough for her to taste it. A chill rushed down her spine, she knew what the scent was the second she caught wind of it -- blood, a lot of it. 

For a second, she froze. It was possible that she was having a nosebleed, that she could have been smelling herself, or perhaps even something that wasn’t there. She did just hit her head pretty hard, it wasn’t far from the realm of possibility. That was what she tried to believe. 

It was all too perfect for her to keep on trying to convince herself. There was something there, someone leaving blood. As soon as she allowed herself to acknowledge that unpleasant fact, she began to feel as if she were drowning. The air was knocked out of her lungs, her chest hurting as her heart pounded against her ribs. She may not have known what it was she was about to see, however, she knew that she had to brace herself. 

“Oh my God,” she gasped. 

Slowly, she walked into the dark room, already knowing who it was on the couch by her outline. 

“Tina?” She softly called. 

There was no answer. Her entire body went numb, thoughts racing so quickly she didn’t even recognize any of her own thoughts. Bile rose up in the back of her throat, but she refused to throw up now, not when she couldn’t leave the room. 

“Tina!” She desperately began to cry out. 

She didn’t dare move towards her. It was obvious she was already dead, but going up to her would only confirm it. Standing back away from her, yelling, forcing herself to have some space for hope was better. It was the only thing keeping her from completely losing grip. These few extra seconds of grasping onto her last straws of her sanity. 

“Tina! Answer me! Don’t ignore your mother!” She yelled, sobs starting to interrupt her words as she did her best to sound authoritative and annoyed rather than distraught. 

Bob heard the yelling and came out into the living room. His questions were answered soon before he even had the chance to ask Linda what happened. Even before that, he knew. The second he heard his daughter’s name being yelled frantically, he was sure of what happened. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring wide eyed at the blood soaked child before him. 

His body shook as his blood boiled. He was angry, angry at the bastard that did this, angry at Linda’s doctor for keeping them at the hospital as long as he did, angry at Tina for being home, angry at Louise for not forcing her to go with her, angry at Linda for setting all of this up, but most of all, he was angry at himself. This was all his fault. Gene was sick because of him. Danny died because of him. Linda had to go out and sell herself to an awful pervert because of him. His family was subjected to dangerous people because of him. Now, Tina was killed because of him. 

His wife’s cries became nothing more than incoherent sounds off in the distance. He was still deep in his trance as he turned and walked away, heading back to the hall stopping by the wall. A trembling hand formed a tight fist and punched the wall as hard as he could, not caring if it hurt him. 

“Damn it!” He screamed, punching the wall once more. 

Bob stopped, his breathing rapid as he dropped his arm to his side. He was calming down, but Linda’s frantic cries struck a nerve within him. 

“She’s dead!” He snapped, looking over his shoulder to Linda. “She’s dead, alright! Someone killed her and she’s dead!” 

Linda stopped her yelling, yet still harshly sobbing as she looked between him and Tina. Her mouth hung agape as she scrambled to find some sensible argument. Her thoughts were too unorganized, too chaotic for her to even consider forming a sentence. 

She rushed over to Tina and even though she could finally see her clearly, she ignored it. Denial was her only option and she wasn’t about to let go of it. 

“Tina!” She called, grabbing hold of her shoulders and shaking her. 

Bob walked over, took hold of Linda’s shoulders, and slapped her. The very notion of thinking about hurting her made him cringe, but there was no other way. She had to be brought back to reality, to be forced to face this so that she could move on eventually. 

“Look at her, Linda,” he sternly ordered. “Look at her and tell me she’s alive.” 

It took everything within her to make herself actually turn and see what it was before her -- her baby girl’s dead body. Once she saw it, pulled her head out of the dirt and uncovered her eyes to the truth of it all, her shoulders slumped. Her entire body relaxed. 

“She’s dead,” she whimpered. 

Nodding, Bob glanced down to the body. He wanted to break down and scream, however there was no time for that. 

“Linda? I need you to listen to me, okay? I need you to go mess up the apartment. Make it look like a burglar came in and started looking for something. Take some valuable things and hide them somewhere, take them next door, I don’t care. We just need to make it look like something happened so we can call the police,” he instructed, his hands shaking as he gripped her shoulders. “We still need to be able to take care of Gene and Louise. We can’t do that from jail.” 

There were still two children alive. That meant that they still had a reason to hold on, to fight through this and make it to the end of the tunnel. She obeyed him and went off to start with their bedroom, pulling out drawers and emptying the closet. 

Meanwhile Bob just stood there staring at the blood. His intention was to simply give Linda a few minutes to get everything done. Those few minutes dragged on, leading to more time spent standing there and wondering where things went wrong, what he could have done differently to have kept her safe. 

It was only when Linda decided to throw something glass onto the ground, causing it to shatter, did he come out of his gaze. He took his phone and dialed the police. 

“He-hello? I, I would like to report a murder.” 

Oooooo

Sirens blared, the red and blue lights flooding the entire street with their obnoxious colors. There were many people watching, curious onlookers with no respect for privacy offering their looks of pity to try and mask their disgusting, morbid interest. 

Louise stood front and center, watching as they dragged the body bag to the ambulance. She already knew who it was -- Tina. 

Her thoughts wandered back to when Gene was first admitted to the hospital. Bob and Linda had rushed out with him, leaving both girls scared and alone. Neither of them could sleep. Louise was the one that decided to go out into the living room and try to watch tv, something to distract her. Tina came out and joined her, just taking a seat on the couch. 

“We’ll be okay.” 

Those were the words Tina muttered to her. She sounded so sure of herself, no wavering in her voice, no tears in her eyes. Louise just looked to her, wondering how she could even bring herself to say such a thing, how she could know for sure. She didn’t ask though, she couldn’t rip that solace away from herself by hearing her older sister tell her that she really didn’t know. 

The two just sat there in silence, not daring to move away. They needed each other. 

Now, in some odd way, Louise felt abandoned. Tina wasn’t supposed to leave her. Bob and Linda were out there risking their lives, Gene was lying in a hospital room with tubes hooked up to him everywhere, Tina was supposed to be the safe one. She was supposed to be the one that kept out of trouble and stayed away from the things that could take her away. 

She repressed her urge to yell, to kick and scream, and simply made her way up the stairs. Never before had she felt so guilty and hurt. She had her chance to force Tina to come along with her, she also could have gotten people with her to stay home, that way Tina wouldn’t have been alone, someone could have saved her, but no one did. 

She was still in a daze as she slowly got to the landing on the second floor, the lights still flashing in through the windows. The police were asking her parents questions, but their words weren’t distinguishable to her, they were just mumbles in the distance. She didn’t even bother heading towards the living room. She didn’t want to see her mom and dad, watch them fall apart as they got interrogated.

She was about to head to her room, but Tina’s open door caught her attention. Even if it was a bad idea, she had to enter, she had to see what was left of her sister, take in everything and try to never forget. As she cautiously stepped in, she made sure to close the door behind her, Everything was still in its place -- her horses, the organized collection of both fan and friend fiction on her desk. There was an open notebook however, the pen laying on the page. 

It was something that she had been working on, Tina had every intention of returning to this spot to finish this story. 

Louise sat down in the chair, making sure to glance over her shoulder as if getting caught would get her in trouble. It felt weird being in this seat, as if she had no business being there what so ever. She just stared ahead at the page, the paragraph had just been ended. She read it, and the former page. It was clear that it was still a work in progress, one that she would have laughed at if Tina were to have actually shown it to her. 

Without giving it a second though, she picked up the pen and began writing. It made no difference how awful it was or how badly it matched her sister’s writing style, it had to be finished. Tina wanted this story to be finished. There was no way that she was about to let her sister die without giving her a chance to at least complete one of her favorite past times. 

Tears filled her eyes, blurring the words as she wrote them. Words were merged together, letters sloppily added to the paper, so badly drawn they could not be deciphered. 

“Damn it,” she hissed at herself when she had to pause to wipe her face.


	13. Chapter 13: A Violent Reaction (Part I)

Chapter 13: A Violent Reaction (Part I) 

Twenty Nine Years Earlier 

Music blared throughout the whole building. It was an old, run down small boarding home. People lined the stairs and halls as they held dranks and smoked. Rooms upstairs were reserved mainly for people wanting to pass out and couples needing a place for privacy. The main rooms downstairs were filled with scattered teenagers also drinking and dancing and talking. 

In the kitchen, Linda and Ginger sat across from a girl in their class, Rhoda, who was shuffling a deck of Tarot cards. 

“So you really wanna know what’s going on?” Rhoda questioned, smirking as she split the deck, her hand on the right pile ready to reveal the card at any second. 

“I really wanna know!” Linda cheerfully replied. 

Rhoda softly laughed at her enthusiasm before turning over the top card to reveal it. It was the Chariot card. She laid it flat on the table, announced its image and then began to study it. After a moment of concentration, she looked up to Linda and took hold of her hand. 

“You’re obsessive. Not in general, but you need to be in control of your life. Am I correct?” She asked, rather too seriously for Linda’s liking. 

“Oh,” she replied, disappointed as she pulled away her hand. 

She wasn’t so sure whether she was truly disappointed in what she had heard because it sounded bad or simply because it didn’t actually tell her anything about her future. She thought that that was supposed to be the point of all of this. 

“It’s not a bad thing,” Rhoda started. “It means that you know what you want and you will stick by it. Most of this comes in when someone does wrong by you. You know what to do and how to do it to get back at them. I saw it in gym class last month.” 

“How about we just move onto the next one, Rhoda,” she harshly suggested. 

Ginger sighed, rolling her eyes as she placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “We all know what she’s talking about, now calm down,” she told her. 

“And that is the Three of Swords,” Rhoda said, placing the card onto the table. 

“Now that one looks better,” Linda stated, the smile returning. She began to study the image of the heart with the swords running through it herself. 

“You will love deeply, but with such deep love will come deep pain,” she informed her. 

“Awe,” Linda replied, as though listening to a story. 

Rhoda looked up to her with a small smile. “All of your feelings are very intense. The more intense your love, the easier it will be to get hurt, thus, the worse it’ll hurt. It follows the same rule of physics. For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. Again, it doesn’t mean that you will most certainly get hurt every time, but it means that you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to be hurt, and you’re not going to repress anything, you’re going to feel every ounce of it that you possible can.” 

The smile was once more gone. Something about her words struck her. She wasn’t scared or concerned, but rather taken aback. Something had been revealed to her that she never really gave a second thought about. Being sixteen, she had this idea of romance, an unrealistic view. In her mind, she was going to graduate high school soon and meet a man and fall in love and get married and have kids and there wouldn’t be anything messy about it. It all appeared to be just that simple to her. 

“So be careful?” She questioned. 

“I would say so,” Rhoda answered, reaching for the next card. 

A chill went down Linda’s spine the instant that the card was placed before her. The image was of the grim reaper, his scythe at hand and a white rose in front of him. 

“I’m not going to die soon, am I?” 

Rhoda shook her head. “No, but you will experience loss. Great loss. There will always be something following it though, a new beginning. For every death, there is a birth. Just remember that.” 

Linda wasn’t sure how she felt about that. There was something ominous in the message, a warning of sorts. “I see,” she flatly replied. 

Present

Linda sat in the chair beside Bob, holding as tightly as she possibly could to his hand. They were supposed to be up there, standing beside the coffin as everyone went up to say their goodbyes, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t stand there and watch as they all looked to her with pity while constantly reminding herself that this was her fault. She had set up the whole thing. If they would have just stayed home, just forgotten about everything and moved on, perhaps they could have saved Tina. 

Her head rested on her husband’s shoulder. Somehow, he remained stoic as if blocking everything out around him. He had been doing that a lot lately. She supposed that was his way of dealing with the situation, and everyone deserved to have their own way. The only problem was that she was beginning to feel as though she were losing him. He might be there holding her at night and he might be sitting beside her when she cried, but he wasn’t really there. He was shutting down and leaving her behind. 

“I thought she stayed upstairs,” Bob mentioned. 

Linda was pulled out of her daze, eyeing the little girl as she made her way through the line to the coffin. She held her little night light in her hand - Kutchi Kopi. 

“She did,” she replied with a sniffle, pushing herself to sit up and watch. 

The little girl stood before the closed casket, her head lowered for the longest time. Then suddenly, she opened the top, just a crack, and slid her night light into it. 

“Oh my God,” she gasped. 

She wanted to go up there and tell Louise that she didn’t have to leave that with her sister. She wanted to go up there and tell her that she could hold onto her things, that not everything had to be given away to the siblings she was losing. To her, it so much more than just her giving away her material, she was giving up everything that she had spent so much time clinging to. She was giving up a tiny part of herself to Tina and Gene. 

Louise turned back around, her hands folded as she kept her eyes to the ground. She started towards the door, only pausing a second to look to Bob and Linda. Her gaze made Linda feel as though she were being blamed, and she couldn’t argue with the accusation. 

“Louise!” She whispered as the little girl continued on her way. 

To her dismay, Louise didn’t stop, her pace only hastened. She wanted to get up and follow her, to apologize, but she couldn’t. Not now. She spent most of her son’s funeral hiding and wishing she weren’t there. This time was different. There was only so much time left before they buried the body, made everything official. She needed to stay here and keep telling herself that Tina was in the room. She had to be able to remind herself that her daughter wasn’t all that far away from her. 

Most importantly, she had to be here. Linda had to face the consequences of her choices. She thought she could take charge and show a few people not to mess with her, and they proved stronger. She was the one that took that first step and she was the reason that Tina was dead. This was the only chance she had at any form of apology. 

So instead of running and pretending that any of this was truly about her, she sat there. All of her thoughts went back to when Tina was eight years old. 

Six Years Earlier

Louise was four years old and had just moved into her very own room. It was nothing more than a rather large closet, but it was something for the child to call her own. 

Linda sat on the edge of the bed as she tucked Louise in. “You think you’re gonna be okay here tonight? All alone in the dark?” Linda questioned. 

She didn’t want to chase her youngest out of the room, she just wanted her to be sure of what she wanted before everyone else fell asleep. They didn’t need a tiny Louise roaming around the apartment. 

“Yes!” She argued, the overconfidence compensating for the fear. 

Linda softly laughed as she pulled the covers up to her daughter’s chin and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

“Louise?” 

Linda quickly turned and looked, watching as Tina slowly opened the door. There was a little green glowing doll in her hand. It had been given to her by Al and Gloria the prior year for Christmas. 

“Tina? You should be in bed, sweetie. Is there something wrong?” Linda asked. 

“I thought Louise would want this because she’s afraid of the dark,” Tina stated as she stepped further into the room. She stopped before the bed, holding up the Kutchi Kopi light. 

“Awe! Tina! Looking out for your baby sister!” Linda gushed as she took the night light from her hand and set it on the nightstand. 

“I’m not afraid of the dark,” Louise pouted. 

“Well then,” Linda started as she took the toy. “Perhaps we should give it back to Tina.” 

She had been well aware of her daughter’s fear, but she wanted to get her to say thank you rather than argue. 

Louise reached out and snatched the toy out of Linda’s hand. “No! I still want it. I just don’t need it,” she explained. 

“What do we say to Tina?” Linda questioned, watching as the child hugged the nightlight tightly to her chest. 

“Thank you,” she said, looking to her older sister. 

“You’re welcome,” Tina replied. 

Present Day 

Bob sat there, staring. He wasn’t sure what to do, what to think. It were as if he wasn’t himself. He wasn’t Bob anymore and he wasn’t sitting here at his daughter’s funeral. Rather, he was watching the events unfold before him as someone would watch a movie. It didn’t feel real. He didn’t feel real. 

The past few days have been spent between periods of feeling as though his heart were going to explode in his chest and being exhausted. There were times where he felt as though he had to leave, he wasn’t sure why, but he had to. He had to run away. The room would spin, he didn’t feel real, he would get shaky. Linda would have to walk over and try and calm him whilst stuck in her own thoughts. He would wake up in the night drenched in his own sweat and barely able to breathe. He noticed that he absolutely had to be holding Linda to be able to even lay down. 

When he wasn’t wired, he would go into a zombie like state. He would zone out, stare at nothing in particular. He wasn’t even focused on his thoughts. Time would just simply pass by around him. Sometimes he would zone out for up to an hour. The only way he would come back was if Linda or Louise pulled him out of it. 

“Please don’t leave me now.” 

Bob quickly turned to his wife, seeing her as tears stained her cheeks, her face red from sobbing. He instinctively reached out and pulled her into his embrace. He wasn’t all too sure of what she had meant by her plea, but he did not want her thinking she had to be alone for a second. 

“I won’t leave you, I promise,” he whispered as she leaned into him. 

As much as she wanted to stay buried in his chest, there was something that she had to tell him while he was still aware of his surroundings. She pushed herself away, keeping her hands on his shoulders. This was hardly the place to do so, yet it didn’t feel like she had a choice. 

“I need you to keep that promise, because I’m about to do something awful. I’m going to need you after,” she warned him. 

“What is it?” He asked, fear evident in his voice. 

Last Night 

Shaky hands clung to the glass as Linda stared down to the cheap kitchen table. Her entire life was falling apart and she went to the only one she knew could help her -- Chuck. Maybe they didn’t know each other that well and perhaps he would advise against what she wanted to do, but she didn’t know who else to turn to. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he answered. 

Chuck stood there, leaning against the counter. He had been well aware of what happened, he was there to help clean up the scene. It made him sick to even think about it. The problem though was that they had more children, two that could easily be killed off just as Tina had been. 

Linda slowly looked up to him, vacant eyes surrounded by dark, puffy circles. The color had been drained from her face. Her hair was frazzled and unkept. 

“You don’t think this is a good idea?” She asked, her voice cracking from the frustration and the unshed tears. 

“No,” Chuck sternly told her. “I have a list of names of the possible suspects, but I can’t tell you for sure who did it. Without that, you could be out there killing innocent people and causing more trouble than you need to. If anything, you and Bob need to lay low for a while.” 

“Was Tina not innocent?” She flatly questioned, not even bothering to look up at him. 

“What?” 

“Was Tina not innocent?!” Linda yelled this time, standing and shoving the glass so harshly that it flew off the table and shattered on the floor. “You can’t stand there and tell me that innocent people don’t deserve to die when they came into my home and murdered my daughter! If they don’t deserve to die, then why did Tina? Huh? Can you tell me that? Would you rather stand here and explain to me why I have to go home and face that blood stained couch and pass her empty bedroom? Would you rather lecture me on why I shouldn’t hurt people? How mean it is? Or would you rather give me your list and let me do what I want?!” 

His words struck a nerve within her. This was not some minor thing, these people didn’t just walk into their home and leave a threatening note or destroy the place and take things, no they killed her child. They ripped her daughter away from her and she could not forgive it. This was not something that would simply pass. She needed that closure in a sense, a way of knowing that this would not happen again. 

Chuck sighed as he took a few steps towards her. “Look, I appreciate what you’re saying. Your child was killed. And maybe if she were your only one I would tell you to do whatever you wanted. But those innocent people that you would be killing? They have some not so innocent friends. They have more people out there that will kill for any reason they feel like.” 

Linda huffed, her palms flat on the table as she lowered her head. She knew where he was going with this, and he was right. They were shown that their children would pay for their sins, and that would continue on as long as Gene and Louise were still alive. 

“You want my advice?” He asked, approaching the table and leaning in towards her. “You and Bob stay home, guard Louise. Keep her out of school for a while. Keep the place locked up. Just wait for this to all blow over. Gene will be fine, no one’s going to touch him while he’s at the hospital.” 

Linda looked up to him, her blood still boiling from her outburst. “You know that’s not enough,” she replied through gritted teeth. 

Chuck heavily sighed once more as he stood up and glanced around the room. “Alright,” he replied, receiving a small look of relief from Linda. “What do you need me to do?”


End file.
